Hello, friends.

I…did not like this week’s Supergirl. The whole thing oozed poor storytelling, bad leaps, and lazy writing, and it filled me with disbelief, annoyance, and anger.

One time, huddled on her work couch, Lena told Kara that while Supergirl may have saved her, Kara Danvers was her hero, and I have to say, Lena, that you deserve better heroes. Because that bitch just up and left you, her family, and the world with am “oh, I never felt like I fit in, so byeee. Oh, and I’m taking Imra’s husband with me.” 

Whatever.

At least Lena has crazy science to keep her busy. I mean, really, who else can manufacture a “make it not Reign” cure in like 30 seconds while a soggy fish stick and your secret bestie fight in your lab? And bad news, Lena — I think they destroyed your it this time.

I think maybe the most surprising moment of this episode is when we found out that Lena actually values lab safety. I am no scientist, but I somehow feel that exposing that much cleavage during experiments could be a danger to her health. It’s definitely a danger to mine.

But apparently Lena found her glasses and gloves and she’s just gonna use these to help make her de-Reign formula.

But don’t worry — she didn’t leave them on too long.

Are those…fish sticks?!

And sure, Alex, if Ruby didn’t have you, she wouldn’t have anyone else.

Also, Alex, shouldn’t you be…happy that Ruby has her mom back?

It does feel like the scene with Supergirl and Lena is a beginning of the trust between them being rebuilt. That being said, THE TRUST NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BROKEN IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT YOUR FRIENDS. Sigh.

So, we’re supposed to believe that Kara is being sent away indefinitely on assignment for a company that Lena owns. And we’re also supposed to believe that she and Supergirl will disappear at the same time, and she thinks Lena won’t put that together?

Really?

Sure, Jan.

I feel cheated that this is the only “Goodbye” scene between Kara and Lena that we got, but I guess it’s because THEY AREN’T ACTUALLY SAYING GOODBYE. Next season isn’t going to be “Supergirl’s School of Cape Tricks: Argo Campus” or whatever.

I do like that the voice-over for the Lena montage talked about family, but seriously, writers — show, don’t tell.

So, Lena shows up with “too much pizza,” obviously because she knows of Supergirl’s Kara’s “appetites.” And are those potstickers on top?

Good thing she isn’t missing her gal pal.

What follows is an awkward attempt to make Lena and James — honestly, I don’t know what this was supposed to do. It made me realize Lena Luthor and I have another thing in common, though I do not own a gun myself. Owning a gun for self-defense and thinking “having a gun makes everybody safer” are two totally different things. Lena has had multiple attempts on her life. She doesn’t have superpowers, and she doesn’t have a Guardian suit her bestie made for her. She’s going to protect herself however she needs to (probably not with an assault rifle), and that’s okay. James, though, seems to be too immature and stubborn to even hear what she’s trying to say, though in my opinion she’s being reasonable.

This scene is actually pretty true to their characters, really. The only unbelievable part is that they’re a couple.

My favorite scene, if you watch it on mute.

And shout-out to Eve Tessmacher, who I hope isn’t going to be randomly evil!

“I have an opening in the bestie department. Requirements — boy-band talk, wine appreciation, and naked cuddles. Benefits — I already own the company you work for, so no need to buy it twice!” — Lena Luthor, probably

And they gave us a little hint of what I’ve been craving all season — more powerful women solving complicated problems. I’m here for it.

#TessCorp

Bonus content that didn’t fit anywhere else:

• What’s worse than cape tricks? DOUBLE CAPE TRICKS.
• Of course Mon-el is the one who carries the rock, and of course he’s the one who gives it to Lena.
• I have no problem believing that Alex wants to be a mother. I have a problem believing that a mother is the only thing Alex wants to be, and that seems to be the direction we’re going. You can be a mother and not lose your personality or your sense of self or your inherent badassery that comes along with a custom-made evil-fighting suit.
• As a person who has unnaturally colored hair, I do not believe that a 12-year-old has the discipline to stick to the regimen that it would take to maintain blue hair color.
• Why is James hanging out at the DEO? And why is Guardian suddenly the only one who can fight crime?
• The Kara Danvers we have come to know over the last three years would not abandon her found family for her biological family. Period. Full stop. Not even for Erica Durance!
• By the end of the episode, we’re well and truly fucked, and not in the good way.  I would be a lot more invested if I actually cared about my superhero’s journey this season, but I do not. She’s not the Supergirl I know.

“But…but what if?” that hopeful Hufflepuff part of me says. “What if they listened to our complaints and are turning this show on its ear?” Meaning, what if they’re just going to Bobby Ewing this entire season and are taking it in the complete wrong direction in the meantime to throw us off? Huge if true. And a bold risk that isn’t quite paying off yet. But no matter how hopeful that tiny Hufflepuff part of me is, I don’t think that’s true.

Sadly, I think that for whatever reason, Supergirl has become a show that wants to tell a story about a man, which is unfortunate. If I want to see a show about a strong, powerful cishet white guy, I’ll turn on basically any other show except for Killing Eve and Wynonna Earp. (I know there are other exceptions. I’m exaggerating. Calm down. No need to send me a list.) A show that started its run by smashing the conventions of typical female characters is ending by conforming to gender norms and stereotypical behavior.

It’s turning into a show that thinks its hero has to be a dude that saves the day with Cape Tricks, instead of letting the women save themselves and each other.

One of Supergirl’s greatest strengths was that she was able to bring hope to a hopeless time. Neither the character nor the show do that for me anymore. Every Monday at 8pm ET, I’m reminded that this country seems to be moving backwards, not forwards.

And just like Lena, that’s not the kind of hero I need. Lena Luthor deserves a hero that actually follows through on what she says, and so do I.