A Tribute to Jeannie

Today, the Wynonna Earp community learned that we lost one of the best of us today.

Jeannie is on the right, in a photo op with Lynn Rachels and Melanie Scrofano. Many thanks to Lynn for letting me use this photo.

Jeannie, who most of us knew as Bionic_Geek, lost her battle with cancer today, a battle that a lot of us had no idea she was fighting.

I’d love to be able to pepper this blog with pictures of Jeannie and me together, but I don’t have any. We chatted on Twitter occasionally, we’d talk if we were at a con, but we never grabbed any photos together. I guess I always figured there’d be a next time, another opportunity.

One of the last times we saw each other, Jeannie asked about my writing. I wasn’t in a great place, honestly. I was recapping, but I’d received some “colorful” comments on what I wrote and saw some pretty nasty things people had said about me. I wasn’t sure if I’d continue with recaps or write much of anything anymore, really. And she looked me in the eye and said she couldn’t really speak for anyone else, but anything I wrote, it would always have a fan in her. She made sure I knew that she loved reading what I had to say, and no matter what it was, she would read it.

Every single thing I’ve written from that day on, I’ve thought of Jeannie. Every. Single. Thing. Because if nothing else, those words I put on the page would bring at least one person joy, and that was enough for me.

All of that from a single act of kindness.

I’ve read a lot of the responses people have had to her dying, and it’s clear she really made an impact on a lot of us. I hope she knew — that her kindness touched so many people, that so many people will forever think of her fondly, and that those few words she said to me all those years ago changed my life for the better. If she didn’t know then, and if there’s something after all of…this, I hope she knows now.

I’m going to make a donation in Jeannie (Smith’s) name, and here’s the info for two organizations she supported if you’d like to do the same:

Justice Education Society Vancouver

Holmberg Hospice House Abbotsford

Cons won’t be the same without you, Jeannie. Selfishly speaking, thank you for giving me the confidence to see past the haters to the supporters. You will never, ever be forgotten.

I hope you liked this one, too.

E4L.

Wynonna Earp Recap — Heaven Is a Place on Earth

Hello, friends, and welcome to my recap of the season-four finale (and possible series finale) of Wynonna Earp. What a long, strange trip it’s been.

Deep breath.

I don’t think I’ll ever accurately be able to write what this show and the people associated with it have come to mean to me, although I’m sure I’ll make a bumbling attempt to do this very thing at the end of this recap, but I will say that this finale is possibly the most perfect thing to ever exist in the world of television. This was a shit year, and we all deserve a little bit of happiness. I think Emily Andras knew that and gave every single character — even the one that I thought couldn’t have a happily ever after — a satisfying, happy ending. It didn’t feel rushed or cheesy or quaint or silly; it just felt perfect. And also, what the fuck was Charlotte Sullivan doing?

But I digress.

So once more into the breach, my lads. Grab your Costco-sized box of tissues, get out your magnifying glass to try to see where I’ll put in a Willa reference, and make sure your tires don’t have any bullet holes in them, because here we go.

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Dark Waverly was in a crisis, Jeremy and Robin aren’t together on account of his non-functional memory, Doc is human and wants a fresh start, Nicole invited Waverly to buy her a cup of coffee with all of the swagger in the world, and if they ever go get that coffee, it better be local, because Nicole is the angel’s shield and can’t leave the Ghost River Triangle. Oh, and instead of coffee, they decide to get married instead.

We open on a wedding gone wrong in 1968 Purgatory. A trail of bloodied corpses lays behind a blood-stained bride in a dress with an inlaid blue heart, and said bride stumbles outside and axes herself in the throat after burying the blade in her groom’s head. The church bells ring as bodies lay on the ground. See? Avoid the church and maybe you would have been okay. That’s my takeaway. Sorry, Mom.

At the Homestead, Waverly’s wedding dress has arrived. She takes it out the box and holds it up, she and Wynonna squeal with joy because baby girl’s getting married! Oh, what’s that — the dress has an inlaid blue heart? Son of a — If I have to watch Waverly butcher her family with the Earp spoon, I’m going to need to speak with the manager.

Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Wynonna and Nicole are readying the Homestead for a wedding. Sister-zilla is freaking out because the cake is covered with a non-vegan buttercream, and Nicole suggests they just don’t tell Waverly. HaughtPants gets it — there’s no need to stress about having the perfect day, because none of them really have a perfect vibe going on anyway. They’re doing the best they can with a Homestead wedding; no need to panic. Waverly joins them, high on wedding bliss, and Wynonna pops her metaphorical balloon by telling her that her betrothed wanted to break her vegan vow by basically serving her a Big Mac. But Waverly, always the planner, made vegan cupcakes yesterday. CRISIS averted!

They say in Heaven, love comes first
We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth

Inside, Rachel and Nedley are planning a fishing trip, and this may be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. He’s just happy to be going with someone who’s likelier to catch something that isn’t mono (hashtag Sorry, Chrissy). Rachel just seems so excited to do something…normal. I love this for her. She deserves a boring, normal fishing trip with a pseudo dad.

Wynonna is carving something in the barn and she notices Waverly’s wedding dress blowing in the breeze. She says it’s beautiful and wonders what it would be like to wear it, and those of us who have seen Friends know where this is going.

Wynonna is running to Doc, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. She’s covered up with a long coat, hiding what she’s wearing, and breaks the door, wilts the flowers, catches the arbor on fire, blows up the cake, and somehow ejects the wagon wheels from their axle. 

She knocks on Doc’s trailer door and shows him her predicament of the sticky dress. Well, if there’s one thing Doc’s always been good at, it’s getting her out of her clothes, and I’m sure the whiskey he pours them will help even more. She sees a pad of paper and asks if he’s having writer’s block for his speech, and he turns it over and explains that sometimes it’s hard to find what you want to say. 

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Doc gently spins Wynonna around, looking for an entry point in the dress. He offers to cut at the seam and then sew it right back up, explaining that some of his clothes are 150 years old so some seamstressing comes with his territory. But bad news — he can’t cut the seam, and they’re interrupted from a hypothetical Plan B by Waverly in her Jeep.

When the night falls down
I wait for you, and you come around

Wynonna hides as Waverly gifts Doc with a saddle — Wyatt Earp’s saddle, to be precise. She wanted to have the perfect present before she asked Doc to be her best man. Doc is surprised — he assumed Wynonna would be her witness, but Wynonna is choosing to fulfill her best-friend duties and be there for Nicole instead of standing up for her sister. Doc can’t believe that Waverly is asking him, but he doesn’t let that stand in the way of him saying yes. 

And the world’s alive
With the sound of kids on the street outside

As Waverly’s walking to her Jeep, Wynonna tells Doc to find out where she got the wedding dress, and it’s from a little shop down on Hogback road. She calls it quaint, but Wynonna doesn’t think too much of Cursey’s Vintage, at least from the outside. They walk past the sign, and it breaks, yet another thing destroyed in Wynonna’s path.

On the inside, it’s an…eclectic shop, with lots of wedding dresses on mannequins and all the mirrors covered up, which I would think would be detrimental for a clothing shop but what do I know? Wynonna leans on one of the mannequins and said mannequin responds by shouting “boop,” shocking Wynonna and delighting the audience, because that weird-ass mannequin is actually named Brigitte and is played by none other than the boss’ favorite, Charlotte Sullivan.

When you walk into the room
You pull me close, and we start to move

She is a breathy-voiced, olden-timey flapper-type, interrogating Wynonna and Doc about what their story is. Before they can get too much info out, she tells Doc that nobody cares but calls Wynonna “the perfect mark,” which does not go over well. Wynonna threatens to have Doc shoot the cashier, but it doesn’t matter if she’s dead or not; cursed dresses gonna cursed dress. Wynonna asks for just the facts, and Brigitte starts to sing. By the time the wedding bells chime (not literally), everyone will be dead by the dress wearer’s hand. Wynonna threatens with Peacemaker, and Brigitte-train says that only a silkworm can undo its own thread. So WynDoc are off to find a Bombyx mori. 

And we’re spinnin’ with the stars above
And you lift me up in a wave of love

At the Homestead, Jeremy’s sampling a mouthful of icing when Waverly finds him and Nicole and tells them about the destruction. They try to figure out what happened, and Jeremy thinks he knows — the caterer, a handsome man named Damon, which seems a little too on the demon horn. He tries to shake Damon down for info but ends up just seeming super homophobic and threatening to out him as gay. 

What? What?

In the barn, HeatWave finds the destruction and the missing dress and immediately realizes the dress (that Waverly didn’t even like) is haunted. 

Doc and Wynonna have found themselves a swimmin’ hole and he belly-flops in, looking for silkworms. There are none, obviously, because this is a shitty mudhole in Purgatory. The only thing he could possibly catch is syphilis.

Doc came up empty-handed, but not Wynonna — she finds a letter in his pocket that he’d written to her, a letter saying goodbye. She can’t believe he was just going to take off and leave her with nothing but an absent child and a note, but the note was just a starting point for a discussion. He was never going to just leave, but it is time for him to go. The curse is broken, Amon and the fog are gone, and he’s human again. It’s time for him to see the world and make the most of his 183rd chance. But he doesn’t want to go alone — he wants Wynonna to leave the Ghost River Triangle and come with him and finally admit that she loves him. But that’s too real for Wynonna to deal with, and she insists she needs to paint some worms so they can deal with the singing boutique owner. 

Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Wynonna and Nicole have worked up a murderboard real quick, and there are a lot of weddings that end in bloodshed in Purgatory. It’s just that when most things end in bloodshed in your town, well, it’s hard to connect the dots on specifics sometimes. The bride kills the family, the groom, and then herself, all with the axe…and they’re all getting hitched in the same dress that Waverly got at her quaint little boutique. Lather, rinse, repeat.

They say in Heaven, love comes first
We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth

An old wedding announcement lists the gown as being from the same shop and person who sold Waverly the dress, Brigitte Hogback from Cursey’s Boutique. Seems that Brigitte was left at the altar and killed all of her guests. Nicole kinda gets it, though — if Waverly left her, she may even kill Nedley, which sounds very sweet to Waverly, and she walks over to her bride and they’re about to get absolutely exhausted in that barn. Grab some coconut oil, ladies.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

They’re interrupted again, of course, because there aren’t even any doors to lock this time, but at least Jeremy has better timing than Willa and walks in on them after they’ve finished. He tries to tell them about the demon caterer, Damon, but he definitely added two and two and got “demon” when he should have gotten “haunted wedding dress.” Now Jeremy is kicking himself and Waverly’s going to kick some ass, shotgun in hand. I do love our baby girl with a gun. 

When I feel alone
I reach for you, and you bring me home

Wynonna tries to pass off some nailpolish-painted worms as silkworks, but Brigitte knows her Bombycidae and calls out the fakes immediately. Doc tries to explain that, yes, they tried to cheat her, but that cup is representative of the kind of hero Wynonna is; the kind of person who would do anything to keep her family safe. It may be a cup of love, but love isn’t enough to stop Wynonna from killing everyone. Wynonna tells Brigitte that she will paint every worm she can find if it means Waverly has a blessed wedding, and she’s confused because isn’t the one wearing the dress the one who’s getting married?

When I’m lost at sea
I hear your voice, and it carries me

Speak of the angel — here comes Waverly, silk banner streaming behind her, and she wraps Brigitte up in it. Some silk, a reversal spell, and bingo, the haunted dress slips right off. Wynonna wants to shoot the demon, but Waverly stops her. After quickly explaining who’s getting married to whom and glossing over why the one in the dress isn’t one of the brides, she explains that Brigitte was left at the altar, heartbroken, and the killing just sort of happened. Waverly apologizes to her, because everyone deserves love. 

In this world, we’re just beginnin’
To understand the miracle of livin’

Back at the barn, Wynonna has rustled up Mama Earp’s dress, and Waverly thinks it’s perfect — or will be after a few modifications. Waverly can tell something’s on her sister’s mind, but Wynonna just insists it’s about the wedding.

Baby, I was afraid before
But I’m not afraid anymore

Nedley knocks on the door at the Homestead, and Nicole greets him in a lovely burgundy suit, looking absolutely gorgeous. He says he never knew a woman could look so good in a suit, and Nedley, I’m going to tag you in a few pictures later, because I have notes. Nicole nervously talks about barn sex, of course, and then gets to the one last thing she needed from him. She asks him to walk her down the aisle and stand by him, like he has been doing her entire life, and let me tell you, friends, this — this is where I lose it every single time.

Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Much like myself, Nicole is a strong woman who doesn’t need help down an aisle and who definitely doesn’t need the patriarchal bullshit archetype of being given away by a man. But also like me, she does like the symbolism of one last time, having that guy who’s been there your whole life standing by your side on your most important day. But unlike me, Nicole got to have her dad at her wedding; that’s the only thing I wish that I could change about my day. So, yeah, I never won’t cry at this scene.

Nedley walks Nicole down the aisle towards Jeremy, who’s waiting to marry the two lovebirds under the arbor Doc built. He kisses Nicole on the forehead and steps back, and Doc approaches the front as Waverly’s best man and shakes Nicole’s hand. She takes a deep breath and sees the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen in her life — Waverly Earp, smiling at her from the makeshift aisle, being escorted by her favorite sister.

They say in Heaven, love comes first
We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth

The look on her face is one of awe, as if she can’t believe this beautiful, perfect angel is about to marry her. Wynonna touches foreheads with her sister and tells her (accurately) that she’s the best of us, and then stands next to her best friend, Nicole. 

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Jeremy tells the crowd to be seated and Rachel and Nedley sit down, since they’re the only non-wedding parties there. And then we have a queer wedding performed by a gay man celebrating the love of two women who are going to spend the rest of their lives together. If you would have told me that this was in my television future, even just a few years ago, I would have laughed right in your face. Representation matters.

Heaven, Heaven, Heaven

Jeremy talks about how sometimes two elements, minding their own business, run into each other and become more than they were as individuals. I could probably write a thousand words on their vows alone, so in the interest of time, I’ll just say they pledge their love to one another for the rest of their lives, and it’s absolutely perfect. Wynonna can’t help but watch them and wonder if this is a happiness that she could have. Something normal and beautiful and solid. And it seems like Doc is thinking the same thing — he knows that’s what he wants, but he doesn’t know if Wynonna is brave enough to believe she deserves it.

In this world we’re just beginnin’
To understand the miracle of livin’

The camera pants to the chairs in the crowd — spaces saved for everyone they’ve loved over the years. Mama Earp, Mercedes, Julian, Robin, Chrissy, Perry, Dolls, and Gus — all gone, at least today, but never forgotten. 

And just like that, two become one.

Baby, I was afraid before
But I’m not afraid anymore

Wynonna pours champagne for everyone — juice for Rachel and Billy, of course — but before she can toast the brides, Rachel beats her to it. She tells her new found family that she had barely done anything in her life before she met them, but now? Now she feels like she can do anything. She didn’t know what to get the couple as a gift, so she serenades them with “Wildwood,” which you may remember from 1×09 and a couch. It’s beautiful and lovely and the best argument I’ve ever seen for having a band rather than a wedding DJ.

Heaven

Everyone just looks so happy.

Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Wynonna decides it’s time to make her best-woman toast for Nicole, her ginger-bitch best friend. “I’m so glad you finally found someone worthy of you,” she says, and neither of them look like they can believe she’s saying it.

They say in Heaven, love comes first
We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth

Rachel asks Nedley if Billy can come on their fishing trip, and just like that, Nedley has gone from retired sheriff to being the quasi-adoptive father of two wayward youths, not just one. Billy can come along, as long as he doesn’t pitch any tents in his pants. 

Doc hugs everyone goodbye; everyone but Wynonna. He looks back over his shoulder at Wynonna, dainty and delicate in blue, as Rachel sings the chorus of “I’ll never get over you.” She looks devastated but just watches him speed off in Charlene as the others look on.

Jeremy tries to make it unawkward with Damon the non-demon and is mediocrely successful? He helps Damon clean up and tries to explain that not only was he not trying to out him; he’s just as out in the outness as Damon is. Damon stops Jeremy’s stumbling and asks him out on a date, and Jeremy enthusiastically accepts, then has to take a call. It’s a sexy, siren-voiced Black Badge agent who’s offering Jeremy a job as the deputy director of BBD. He says yes, because who could say no to that voice, and agrees to start on Tuesday after his date.

Doc is loading up Charlene with his prized possessions — first up, Wyatt’s saddle — and Wynonna finds him and says she’s finally convinced that maybe he’s not bluffing. He just can’t stay where he is anymore, and besides, he wants to see the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He finally admits to one lie he told Wynonna — he originally told her it was the thought of vengeance that kept him going at the bottom of the well, but while that may have kept him alive, it was actually the thought of love that kept him from being scared. 

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

You see, life is short. But it is long. And it is lonely. So if you manage to find a group of souls who will tolerate you and elevate you…oh, and one… and one who will especially love you. Well, that is all it’s about. That is what the fight is really for.

Wynonna insists that she can’t leave Waverly, and Doc gets it — for Wynonna, the person who she especially loves more than anything, it’s Waverly. He tells her that she’s the best Earp he has ever known and kisses her goodbye as she sobs. She apologizes for hurting him, and he says “we only ever hurt ourselves, Wynonna. I wouldn’t have changed a note.” He drives off in Charlene, and Wynonna watches him go.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Wynonna sits on the stoop of Homestead, and Jeremy, Nicole, Rachel, and Billy can’t believe she didn’t go with him. Nicole points out that he — and they — could be toxic at times, at least before he changed. Nedley stumbles up and just tells Wynonna to go catch up with Doc, and then can’t believe it when Nicole tells him Wynonna said no to the stache. Wynonna points out that as the Earp heir, she needs to protect the GRT with Peacemaker and she can’t even think about leaving. “UH, THE FUCK YOU CAN’T,” Waverly says, mildly disagreeing. She expresses her disgust with everyone but Nicole (“FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!”) for letting Wynonna give up her chance at happiness AGAIN for them and ear-marches her to the barn.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Waverly grabs the first plastic bag Dom has touched in years and starts packing up Wynonna’s stuff, such as it is. She’ll probably have to stop for underwear on the road, is all I’m saying. Wynonna insists she’s not going, and Waverly asks her the most important question she’s heard the entire run of the series — does she want to go? Because for the first time in her life, she has the choice, and Waverly wants her to see there is a choice to be had. She’s not tied to a sister or the GRT or any of them — they’ll call, they’ll write, and Wynonna will be back. It won’t be like the last time she left. Wynonna may be the only one who can wield Peacemaker, but the others can still protect themselves. She doesn’t need to stay for Waverly; Waverly is Waverly and she can protect herself. And if not, she has her own shield that she just married. She needs to stop thinking she’s alone, and she needs to stop punishing herself. For everything. She deserves to be happy, and she deserves to choose herself this time and choose happiness. Waverly tells her sister that even though she and Doc don’t always work together, he’s changed and become a better man. He’s allowed himself to break free, and she needs to choose to leave her burdens behind, too. She can leave, but Waverly isn’t afraid anymore, because she knows she’ll always be back. It’s her home. It says so right on the mailbox. 

And finally, Wynonna lets herself believe Waverly and chooses to be free.

Wynonna runs out to the truck (in the same shirt she entered town in) and tries to start it, but even if Wynonna’s leaving, Gus’ truck is staying. Jeremy tracks Doc and sees that he’s almost at the border, and Nicole brings Wynonna her trusty leather jacket. Wynonna realizes the only way she’ll catch up is if she takes the back roads…and her motorcycle. Passing a “leaving Purgatory; you’ll be back!” sign, she almost catches up to Doc as they cross the border. She decides the best way to get Doc’s attention is to shoot out his wheel, and Charlene skids to the side of the road. They each walk about ten paces in a reverse duel and meet between their two vehicles. Yes, she shot Charlene, but good news — she loves him, and not just in a friend way. In a “bottom of a deep, dark well” way. She loves everything about him, including his butt because that’s where love lives, and how he loves her sister and her. She refuses to go to Cleveland in Charlene, but good news, there’s another form of transportation waiting for them. She climbs on her motorcycle, and he climbs behind her, embracing her and his status as the best damn sidekick in the business. “It’s been a long time since I traveled light,” she says, finally shaking off the weight of her responsibilities, her guilt, and the limitations of her hometown behind her. No sunset yet, but they do ride off into the gorgeousness of Alberta. It’s what they both deserve.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

The couple stops off for a beverage as Wynonna looks at Doc’s itinerary. It’s pretty full and she wonders if they have time for a pit stop in Miracles, Montana, to visit their own little miracle. He wonders if Alice will recognize them, and Wynonna will take that bet; in fact, she’s all in.

And now, they ride off into the sunset.

At the Homestead, Nicole and Waverly finally enjoy some peace and quiet. Nicole assures her bride that Wynonna will be back, and Waverly knows she’s right. Waves wonders if Nicole is jealous of Doc and Wynonna’s adventure — does she wish they were the ones going on a road-trip honeymoon. But Nicole is a simple gal — she has everything she’s ever wanted and is where she always wanted to be — “home with my wife.”

“Home,” Waverly repeats back in possibly the last words ever spoken on Wynonna Earp.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

The camera moves to the Earp mailbox, with a few additions from Wynonna, Nicole, and Waverly to Doc’s original mailbox, but the most important one reminding us that on this Homestead, in this town, on this show, everyone is welcome. 

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Let me first start by saying, Charlotte Sullivan is a goddamn delight. I had only seen her in a few things before this, but just her handful of minutes in this episode was enough to make me start watching Rookie Blue the next day. Brigitte may be my favorite monster-of-the-week, and not just because her portrayal was hilarious and delightfully unhinged (and you could see Melanie trying not to break). The character lost everything and was just reacting, and Waverly understood that. I think this is the first sign that things are going to be different in Purgatory. Wynonna didn’t automatically shoot just because she was a demon…or at least she let her sister stop her. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and they just react. I loved the portrayal, I loved the demon, and I loved the non-murdery resolution. It sucks that it’s taken this long to get Charlotte to Earp, but I can safely say it was worth the wait. This was a perfect role for her, and her performance was like nothing we’ve ever seen before. 

This was one of the most beautiful wedding scenes I have ever seen on any screen ever, and it’s not just because it’s two of my favorite characters on my favorite show doing a thing that I myself loved doing in my own life. It’s all the little things, sure — the costuming, the way it’s shot on a beautifully sunny Alberta day, the perfect vows, and all the rest of it — but also, it’s because the wedding was there to exist as a wedding; nothing more, nothing less. It wasn’t inserted as a filler, and it wasn’t used as a vehicle for a dramatic interruption or runaway-bride situation or the setting for a crime. It wasn’t a ratings stunt, and it was a focal point of the episode without it feeling exploitative. It existed because Emily Andras wanted to give Earpers the feeling that they got to see their favorites get married. There were empty chairs, sure, but it felt like the real guests who mattered the most weren’t in that field, or even just a name on a chair. They were the ones grabbing for tissues as they hit the volume buttons on their TV remotes so as to not miss a single word. It was a wedding because, more than Nicole and Waverly deserved to be married and be happy, we deserved to watch it happen. 

Waverly Earp has had such a journey on this show — from Champ Hardy to marrying a skull to walking away from the Garden of Eden to marrying her one true love. She’s slowly gotten out from underneath trying to be that perfect girl that everyone wants her to be and has fully embraced following her heart. And now she gets to spend the rest of her life doing what she wants most in the world.

I think with Wynonna Earp, like Jeremy said about WayHaught, the right amount of magic was involved. And boom — because of the people I met from this show, we are stronger than we were before. And we became love. There are different kinds of love, and what was created from this show is a different kind of powerful than what you get in a regular friendship. It’s a love born of and shared by people who feel like their souls and brains understand each other, and who have been looking for a really long time for people like them.

I sometimes feel like I’ve found the missing pieces of my family that I never knew I was missing. I will forever be grateful to this show for putting us all in the same box so we could fit ourselves snugly against each other. 

During a con, I had the pleasure of attending a writing class that Emily Andras held. It was the second time I went, and though I do like to fancy myself a writer, I am definitely not a fiction writer, much less a TV script writer. I didn’t know how much I’d actually get out of it, but I had friends going and I love hearing Emily talk, so I figured why not, right? Not to give too much away, but during the class, she mentioned a particular moment during Days of Our Lives that was pivotal for her in terms of storytelling. Picture it — Salem, 1984. Hope Brady is scheduled to marry local crime boss Larry Welch, when tough-guy Bo Brady kidnaps her from the nuptials and whisks her away off the back of his motorcycle. Imagine my surprise and delight when I realized that not only did Emily adapt this for her own needs, but she made Wynonna Bo Brady, with Doc Holliday the metaphorical bride on the back of the motorcycle. Proof that Emily Andras is a genius who possibly lives inside my brain, and who also knows that inspiration can come from anywhere.

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • Good thing Waverly didn’t wait till the last minute to ask Doc to stand up for her.
  • The smile that lights up Wynonna’s face when Waverly says she and Nicole are best friends will never not make me smile. 
  • The look on Wynonna’s face at Brigitte is maybe the best facing she’s done of the entire series.
  • Exactly how many guns do they have laying around the Homestead?
  • Wynonna’s reasoning for trying on the dress — that she just wanted to feel like a normal bride in a normal relationship — was relatable and believable and heartbreaking. 
  • “I think Mama’s banging her way through Turkey”; convenient, since one of the last times we saw her, she was elbow-deep in a turkey.
  • The “where you go, I go” banner was a lovely touch.
  • Waverly says she’s thankful for the bullet-proof vest? I’m calling that a Willa reference. 
  • I love that Jeremy caught the bouquet.
  • Doc, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is on a hellmouth, so just…use caution. 
  • No writer trusts their actors more with fewer words than Emily Andras.

Monica’s favorite lines:

  • This isn’t a secret wife, Nicole. This is the matrimonial icing.
  • Both of Waverly’s dads died here.
  • You are a good person. Not perfect, but trying, every day to be better. And that makes you the best man I have ever known. And so…I’d like you to be mine. Today. My best man.
  • It would be my joy to stand by your side and watch you marry that formidable woman.
  • “I am a gunslinger.” “Okay, nobody cares.”
  • Well, I guess we’ve got to find some bugs and save a wedding. 
  • Baby, if you left me at the altar, I would fuck shit up.
  • A coward would stay…instead of admitting it is high time to let go of the past and get to living.
  • I’ll make sand out of that witch.
  • Then why was the aggressive one in your wedding dress?
  • Was he not wearing his hat?
  • That cowboy became a cow man for you.
  • Fashion first, bitch.

I started writing recaps right here at this very blog in season two, and then in seasons three and four, I was lucky enough to have them featured at The TV Junkies. Because of some technical issues, they ended up back here, and I don’t hate the full-circle-ness of it all. I wrote them to make my friends laugh and because my brain was screaming for a creative outlet, unsure if anyone else would ever read them, but not really caring. I feel so lucky to have met the people that I did, in part because of the opportunities it gave me for my writing. I’ll never be able to thank my boss, Bridget Liszewski, enough for seeing a rando nerd writing way too many words about an episode and saying, “Hey, why don’t you do it here? No changes to anything except could you please make your pictures a different size?” I’ve been lucky enough to have pieces published about other shows and even interviewing someone from one of my favorite shows, and none of that would have been possible without Bridget and without you. 

It has truly been my honor and delight to write about Wynonna Earp all of these years, and I am so grateful to all of you for the support and encouragement (well, most of you; the season-four comments section has been disabled for a reason). Thank you for reading what I have to say and thank you for the opportunity to make you laugh. You let me be me, and nothing has made me happier. 

Obviously, I hope this is not the end. This show deserves six seasons and a movie, minimum, because these characters and the writers deserve it. That being said, if this is the end, wow — what a perfect ending. Emily Andras managed to do the impossible. She tied up the majority of the loose ends of the season (I know, I know, Eve, blah blah — look up “majority”), gave us a beautiful wlw wedding that made me cry and laugh in all the right places, and gave our titular heroine the happy ending she deserved. She gave us happiness and light during what has really been a time of darkness and despair. It’s easy, in a way, to write monster-of-the-week episodes, or even just completely fuck shit up and put everyone in danger, especially on a genre show. It’s a tried-and-true formula of getting in a pickle, being in the pickle, then consuming the pickle and being mostly okay, but dealing with pickle consequences. It’s more difficult to let everyone be happy and make it seem genuine and heartfelt and like it could actually happen, especially with characters as broken as the ones on this show are.

It’s harder to make the love interesting without the drama, I think. Not every show can do it, and no other writer could have done this, in my opinion. Wynonna wouldn’t be Wynonna without Emily, and she gave us one last gift — this perfect finale and a fitting send-off if this really is the end.

Wynonna Earp may have saved me, but Emily Andras, you are my hero.

Wynonna Earp airs every day at any time you want in your heart, because it will never truly leave us.

Wynonna Earp Recap — Where Do We Go From Here

Hello, friends, and welcome to the penultimate episode of Wynonna Earp season four. In the previous episode, we were left with so many cliffs hanging that we wondered how the writers could possibly tie everything up in two episodes. Well, surprise! They tied them up in one, and now we are, allegedly, just left with a WayHaught wedding, but — well, I’m getting ahead of myself. Be patient; we’ll get there. So grab your bird of choice, check your vamp status, and be sure to book your stay at the Boobie Munch Salon for a full makeover, because here we go! 

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Rachel goes to Wynonna for training, Waverly grabbed her own book from the Garden but it’s blank, Cleo helped Wynonna, Mercedes got shot, oh, yeah, and Waverly paid a visit to Jolene in the Boobie Munch Cabin and was compelled to take her final form, which appears to be of a dark angel of sorts. Neat, right? Just a regular day in Purgatory.

The BBD agents drag shot Mercedes’ bleeding body into the cell with the rest of the food, and that’s only an issue because the bloodsucking vampire dentist is having trouble controlling his hunger. He begs Jeremy to hold him back, but one groiny BBD nerd can only do so much. 

In the forest, Wynonna is staring at Waverly’s final form, which has evolved even more (or she’s taking a trip to the Boobie Munch Salon for the works). She can’t stop staring because baby girl is both beautiful and terrible. Bonus — she has also de-fogged the GRT. She’s speaking in a bit of a disembodied voice and of Waverly in the third person, like she’s a third-rate professional wrestler trying to act like she’s more important than she is. This is maybe even more concerning than the whole goth makeover, but I’m sure it’s fine.

Wynonna begs her Waverly to come back, but she’s not in the mood for chit-chat. She’s got places to go and people to see — well, place to go and people to protect by locking up the Garden. Wynonna refuses to let her sister go, so Dark Waverly puts her hand on her face and I totally thought for a moment that she was going to face-drain Wynonna, too, but whew! Not this time. Wynonna’s just blind, so we’re cool.

Wynonna asks why, and the dark version of her sister calmly answers, “Because it’s her turn, Wynonna.” Man, no one is letting Wynonna take a turn these days.

In the woods, Cleo asks a gun-holding Rachel how training is going and taunts her about (not) being a killer. She tries to poison her against Wynonna, but it’s not working — Rachel believes in her family, and Wynonna is a part of that. Cleo tells Rachel she just wants to leave the GRT and the rest is just confetti, doubling down on Evil Wynonna, saying that just because Rachel considers her family doesn’t mean it’s reciprocal. Oh, and Wynonna totally lied — Billy’s definitely the Reaper du jour. 

Jolene’s hair from the ritual goes up in flame, meaning Jolene won’t be taking anyone’s man anytime soon. But now that the Reaper has been de-victim’d, he’ll be turning on his most hated enemy — an Earp…unless Rachel acts now and helps Cleo with a de-Reaping.

Where do we go from here?

Mercedes is still bleeding and writhing on the floor in pain, and Doc is having trouble controlling himself. Jeremy’s trying to tend to her while werewolf Freddy pleads with Doc to stop. So everything at BBD is going great, too.

Rachel is doing a Reaper ritual and squeezing her blood onto a rock. Cleo tells her it’s working, but I can’t tell if she’s serious or if there are worse consequences to the “tie you guys together forever” threat she drops like it’s just a casual weather fact. Rachel keeps asking if they’re close and Cleo keeps telling her a facetious yes, and that’s rude because Rachel is the purest soul in Purgatory and lying to her should be illegal.

Wynonna’s still blind and still lost in the forest, but yet somehow she remains sexy. She’s wandering aimlessly and searching for help and seems to have found the opposite of that in a gloved, finger-horned, snarling demon that’s nearby. Her one-track mind is, of course, Waverly, and she’s just trying to get to safety. She even offers to make out with whoever’s stalking her if they’re at least a 5/6 out of ten. She runs and falls and looks up into the face of Reaper Billy, but she just quietly asks if it’s Waverly before screaming for help. Spoiler — no, it is not.

Where do we go from here?

Wynonna runs through the forest blindly, screaming for her sister. She again runs into Billy the Reaper, but good news — the de-reap has taken. It’s just original-flavor Billy now, who very nicely hands Peacemaker to her, and Wynonna almost cries at being reunited with…something, at least. Billy’s also in disbelief at the de-Reaping, and he offers to help guide Wynonna back to safety.

Freddy is ready to let Doc loose, and the vampire points out that Mercedes is toast, and not the good kind you make in the oven, but he’d like to eat her anyway. Jeremy senses it’s a losing battle, but he tries anyway. He tells the man who he thinks of as his brother that he’s not saving Mercedes’ life, per se. He’s saving Doc’s soul — if he did this, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He says if Doc wants to feed on a human, fine — make a snack out of Jeremy but leave Mercedes alone. This finally does the trick and Doc is able to calm his hunger. Pretty good hero speech, Jeremy, and don’t mind me if I chanted “kiss kiss kiss” just a little bit.

Doc keeps trying to pull the bars off, but this is one bar he can’t knock over. Freddy can’t help, because of his werewolf allergy to iron. I bet he can’t even drink IC Light. Weakly, Mercedes points out that she’s dying and being immortal really fits her whole vibe, so why don’t they give that a try? They make sure to get consent to convert this Mercedes, and when she enthusiastically agrees, Doc makes her the Angel to his Darla.

Nicole is still wandering in the woods and she tries to raise Wynonna on the walkie, which apparently didn’t die after all. Then she gets some BBD interference on her walkie, and she’s able to pick up the plan for the Noah protocol, code red, and killing all of the townspeople. Well, maybe if BBD were going to eliminate all of the chickens, she’d let this one slide, but the townspeople, even the ones that didn’t vote for her or tried to propose to her girlfriend? Not on her watch, missy. She makes the decision to let Wynonna save her sister and heads to BBD to make things Haught.

Mercedes, looking a thousand percent more alive now that she’s undead, laments the loss of her veneers, and helps the other dentist she knows bust out of their cell. Newly turned, she’s not as great at whatever vegan lifestyle Doc has adopted, but I can think of several people who would gladly let Mercedes Gardner drain them in any way she wanted, so I think it’s fine. 

The battle’s done and we kind of won

They free their fellow caged humans and demons and knock out the BBD agents, grabbing keycards along the way…and maybe a snack for the road. Suddenly, some type of bisexual lighting alarm starts flashing, and Doc and Jeremy know they’re in for it.

Wynonna can suddenly see, so at least Dark Waverly had the generosity enough to make it fast-acting blindness. She finds the remnants of Rachel’s blood sacrifice, but no Cleo or Rachel. Billy finds his covenant tooth, and they realize that Cleo took Rachel as leverage. Wynonna doesn’t want to find them because it’s clearly a trap, but Billy says it doesn’t matter. Trap or no, Rachel is in danger and needs some saving. Since Waverly isn’t Waverly anymore but Rachel is still Rachel, she knows who needs her help more. Since this Reaper thing didn’t pan out, maybe Billy should look into a future as a motivational speaker or gunslinging vampire dentist. 

Billy goes to look for help because, as the old saying goes, you can’t go home again or you’ll get re-Reaped. Wynonna tells Peacemaker it’s just the two of them to save the day, but she doesn’t want a repeat of last time. She wants things to be different.

Wynonna hopes that some time has healed Dark Waverly’s wounds, but it looks like it just made them worse. She stands over BBD headquarters, wings spread, watching it burn as it’s screaming with chaos. Turns out it’s time for a smoke break, so she grabs a fallen agent’s Virginia Slim and decides to take five. She ruminates about how there’s always a crisis (CRISIS) with humans, and I suppose that’s true…on infinite earths, you could even say.

So we sound our victory cheer

Doc and his band of merry humans and demons are free from their cells but can’t open the door to get out. Just as they are starting to get gassed, a keypad beeps and the door opens. It’s our old friend General Graham, technically, although he was motivated to open the door by Nicole and her sidearm. He can’t believe she’s letting all of these demons go, but Nicole knows these demons can’t help that they were born this way. Nicole’s running an inclusive town, and the only thing it won’t tolerate is intolerance, so General Graham needs to general scram.

Where do we go from here?

Nicole tells Jeremy they need to get the townspeople to safety, but he’s worried about the sneaky-snake fog that just keeps on rollin’, rollin’, rollin’. He grabs a Garden Fog Scanner™ and checks out the situation, but good news — it’s fog free since ‘93! Or at least the last little bit.  

Doc can hear a voice calling to him, and he has to get ready for…something. Don’t know what. Everyone’s like, “Okay, cool, no prob, weirdo.” Since he’s unaffected by the gas, he heads inside to get his guns and any stragglers, and everyone looks at him like he’s being weird and not acting like a gunslinging vampire dentist, but they just go along with it and let him leave. You know, for “stragglers.”

Wynonna cautiously steps foot onto Clanton ground and finds a digital well full of smelly, screaming Reapers. Is this where all that moisturizer is going?

Cleo and Rachel are in Mam’s hoarding shanty, and Cleo still clearly has complicated feelings about her mother. The more she talks about Mam, the more it seems like she and Ward were one missed connection away from a perfect union. Rachel tells her that her mother was a hero, but Cleo is a little short on empathy today. All she cares about is moving on from the weight of her family curse. 

Speaking of heirs and curses, Wynonna shows up and unties Rachel. Cleo’s thrilled, because she’s been waiting, and then the Reaper-formerly-shot-in-the-back-by-Peacemaker shows up. Cleo didn’t do it; the Clantons just turn into Reapers when they die, unless, of course, they’re fed to other Reapers before they have the chance to turn, which is why we won’t be reunited next with an even grosser version of Mam. 

Turns out Mam was keeping secrets from her kin, too, about the weight of being the Clanton heir. Cleo is constantly feeling the pressure of all of her Reaper family wanting revenge, wanting food, asking for moisturizer, probably. They never sleep, and it seems like she hasn’t gotten much lately, either. But Cleo is another smart one, because she has a plan. 

Why is the path unclear

Wynonna begs her to call the Reapers off, but she should know better the weight and responsibility of a curse that you can’t just walk away from, especially when every single Reaper is pulling at your soul. So Cleo’s not going to run from the curse; she’s making the curse run from her. She’s transferring it to her family’s greatest enemy, and Wynonna will kill everyone she loves. 

Wynonna doesn’t want history repeating itself, so she gives Rachel Peacemaker and tells her to run. Cleo brands a rock, and presumably this will not end well.

Across town, Doc is readying his weaponry and trying to ignore the voices in his head when he finds Dark Waverly outside, though that’s not the name she answers to anymore. “A scion of the great guardian, Julian” feels like a mouthful, so we’ll just go with Dark Waverly for the purposes of this recap. Doc tries to get her to leave, but she’s looking for what’s hers — the book. If he hands it over, she’ll be on her way home, but Doc knows that this is home; it’s this world that when they’re here, they’re family. Just like Jeremy did for him, Doc stands up to Dark Waverly for the Waverly Earp that’s still inside, because he knows that she wouldn’t want this. 

When we know hope is near?

This dentist/angel standoff is interrupted by a searing pain — it’s the Clanton brand being burned onto Doc’s hand. She tells him that he has seen what’s coming so he knows what’s about to happen, but Wynonna taught him that there’s always a different way. He’s the only one who can write his story, too. When Dark Waves starts to go for the book, her timing sucks because Doc is transported elsewhere.

Understand we’ll go hand in hand

Back at the Clanton ranch, Cleo’s on the ground and Wynonna doesn’t feel any differently. Cleo thinks it didn’t work, but it just didn’t work how she expected. The Earps weren’t her family’s greatest enemy; it was Doc mother-stachin’ Holliday, the new Clanton heir. So…I guess congrats are in order for Cleo, since the spell worked. Good for you!

Doc forces Wynonna to the center of a stone pillar circle for a showdown. You remember the one — with magic barriers so they can’t leave. The Reapers are screaming and want to see the Earp heir be defeated — all but Cleo, who peaces out with a “good luck!” thrown at Wynonna as she speeds away in a convertible that puts Doc’s old pink Caddy to shame. It’s a win/win for her — she gets out from underneath the crushing pressure and guilt of her own curse and is able to ruin the lives of two of her enemies in the meantime. It’s an impressive plan, honestly. I don’t think Mam would be proud of you, but I am. I mean, I don’t want you raining down pain and destruction on my faves, but I can still be impressed at the plan. Cleo grew up in as much of an abusive household as the Earp girls did, if not worse, so no matter the methods, I can’t help but cheer that Cleo is getting free.

Wynonna tries to flirt her away out of danger, but Doc doesn’t seem super into it at this time (“The next time I step on Earp whore land, it will be to coat it in the blood of your kin.”) Wynonna wants Doc to leave her friends out of it, but Wynonna always wanted to involve them, so Doc’s taking them down, too. Again, Doc is begged to remember who he is inside, underneath the vampire teeth and underneath the curse he’s just had thrust upon him. It doesn’t take, though, and even though it’s not dawn, Doc challenges her to a duel. The Clantons have had enough pain and suffering thanks to the Earps and Doc Holliday, and he’s confident the family who holds his curse will prevail.

Thanks, Hamilton, for teaching me how a duel works.

Wynonna refuses to fight and doesn’t even have a weapon, but Peacemaker has a great flair for timing. Reaper Holt is holding Rachel hostage and forces her to throw the weapon in the supernatural hexagon. Wynonna refuses to pick up Peacemaker, so Doc threatens to kill Rachel if she doesn’t. Wynonna agrees, but terms and conditions will apply.

But we’ll walk alone in fear

Doc agrees to spare Rachel if Wynonna picks up the gun, and she knows she’s out of options. She blames Peacemaker for being a jerk — she’s not mad, just disappointed. They’ve really come a long way together. She tells Doc what a waste it was for him to have been working towards being a better man, if it’s all just going to end with him killing her. The Doc-shaped meat suit insists that Doc is dead, but Wynonna knows that dying is just an inconvenience for Doc Holliday. He’s come back from that before, and he can fight through this, too. He’s not the Clanton heir; he’s a fuck-up, like Wynonna. Like Casey. And he’s a fuck-up who’s been trying to be a better man. And didn’t Doc tell us just a little while ago that you can be a fuck-up and a hero, too?

Doc asks her to raise her weapon so they can have a fair fight, and Wynonna knows that’s one thing any iteration of Doc Holliday would want. 

BBD is still just a musterbluck of chaos. Nicole’s leading the previously incarcerated demons to a truck for an escape, and when she gets to the cab, Jeremy’s immediately struck with groin pain over her. She’s…confused, to say the least, but the bottom line is this — Jeremy will get everyone to safety. Nicole needs to go to the Stairs — am assuming the Garden ones but am happy to be proven wrong — because she’s “the only one she won’t hurt.” 

Tell me, where do we go from here?

Nedley’s mixing himself a sadness cocktail at Shorty’s — banana liqueur, water, and a cocktail umbrella — but his pity party is interrupted by a still un-un-dead Billy. Nedley’s impressed at his growth spurt — he’s grown an entire body! — but still manages to look exhausted when Billy asks him for help. But when he hears Rachel and Wynonna are in trouble, he’s in for helping, doubly so when Billy asks if he’s good at incantations. Good thing he keeps his holy book and ceremonial wolf head behind the bar in case of emergencies! 

Wynonna and Doc turn around and are walking their traditional ten paces and Rachel tries to convince her that the first saving was good enough; no need for a repeat. But Rachel should know by now there she’s safe — with family like this, there are no boundaries.

Doc counts down from five and turns around, but Wynonna stays where she is, her back to him. It’s his refusal to shoot her in the back that proves that our Doc is still inside the Doc meat suit. She knows his code, the one she never should have broken, because it broke them. 

But he’s not Doc anymore, and the Clantons have no code.

When he aims and cocks his gun, Wynonna fires Peacemaker into the magic barrier, and the bullet comes out in Reaper Holt’s temple. Doc fires, but the bullet explodes backwards out of the chamber, hitting him. She tells Rachel to run and Doc that she can’t believe he fired, but then she sees — he loaded his gun at BBD with the wrong bullets because he saw the future that awaited him and he couldn’t bear the thought of shooting his greatest love. 

There really is always another way.

At Shorty’s, Nedley and Billy are incanting their little hearts out, trying to bring the curse back to its rightful place. The brand sears Billy’s hand and he screams in pain, so it seems like it may be working. He commands the Reapers to stand down, and it works. They’re not after Doc and Wynonna anymore, at least for now.

Doc wants Wynonna to end it by shooting him with Peacemaker, but that’s just too much to ask. She can’t do it, even if he’s done with this life. His pain will stop, but hers will continue forever. She knows it’s wrong, and so does he, but he still wants it. He’s tired and still selfish enough to ask her to do this.

When does the end appear?

She steps away, insisting there’s another way, and Dark Waverly, sounding like my mother suggests that perhaps a miracle may do the trick. 

Dark Waverly talks a bit about how curious it is that humans know fate is inevitable but they still try to change it. Wynonna can’t believe this dark angel in front of her is the same baby sister she’s been protecting her whole life. She suggests that maybe it is time for a miracle, and Dark Baby Girl agrees that he does have regret for all of his transgressions, but he’s lived more than his fair share of lifetimes already. But so what — she’s no stranger to breaking rules, but Dark Waves points out that Wynonna herself was the only reason Waverly got up from the Garden throne and abandoned her post. Wynonna’s negotiating her heart out for Doc’s life right now and throwing everything out at this shadow of her sister. The heir gets on her knees and begs — she’s lost everything, and if she’s going to lose her last sister, too, at least let her final act be to save Doc. Give the champion this one final sister act.

Waverly wants the book back so she can return it to the Garden, because I assume the overdue fees there are out of this world. Wynonna’s had a taste of negotiating now, and she can’t seem to stop — if Waverly saves Doc first, she can have the book back.

Dark Waverly gingerly places her hands on Doc’s head and, in a reverse Bobo/Mam Clanton, breathes life into him. Doc feels different than before and wonders what Dark Waverly did to him, but the angel is distracted by her bleeding nose since her human flesh bag is fragile. 

Wynonna hands the book over and at the same time tearfully begs Waverly not to go. With a final look at her sister, Dark Waverly walks away and says that Wynonna’s sister did this for her and her sister “loved her very much.” 

Dark Waverly hears the Reapers screaming and Holt is begging her to make his pain stop. Channeling her best Red Daughter, with a bolt of lightning from her hands, she turns them all into magpies and they fly away from the Clanton ranch.

Dark Waverly has made her way to the Garden stairs but is just part way up before the sheriff finds her. She tries to chase her up the stairs, because history, but can’t get in and bounces off the barrier. Dark Waves tells her to go away, as this is none of her concern, but clearly she’s new in town because Nicole’s supposed to marry the body that Dark Waverly is renting out and that means it’s definitely her business. She insists the gate has to be closed and she’s the only one who can do it, but seems like everyone in Purgatory is stuck in the bargaining phase today. She refuses to stay behind again because “where you go, I go, remember?” Nicole’s humanity means she can’t follow her girl to the Garden, where she’s destined to be the failsafe who protects the Ghost River Triangle. Nicole tries to convince her that Wynonna could do this job, since she’s the champion and the sword-wielder, but, channeling original-flavor Waverly, she doesn’t want to burden Wynonna anymore. She’s given up enough.

When do the trumpets cheer?

Oh, wait, did someone say “protect”? Good news, demon angel — standing in front of you is the fast-talking sheriff of Purgatory, who agrees to become the protector of the entire GRT. Everything good in her life is because she came back to the Ghost River Triangle, and she’s willing to make the GRT her Hotel California and never leave. Anything is worth being able to go where Waverly goes. You know, as long as it’s local. 

Dark Waverly did break the rules already to save Doc, and Nicole says that she bets it feels pretty good now that she has a taste for it. Nicole tells her to look in the book and see that Waverly’s story is Nicole’s story, but the book belongs to the Garden, just like she does. Nicole runs into the barrier again and begs her to check the book, and Dark Waverly gasps at what she sees. She can’t believe that Nicole is willing to give up so much, but Nicole points out that everything she loves is already in the GRT.

Deciding to break the rules a second time, another bolt of lightning flies from Dark Waverly’s hands to Nicole, and Nicole vows to be bound to the Ghost River Triangle as long as she lives, vowing to be patient and just and to be the angel’s shield. With a final burst of lightning, Nicole is thrown from the barrier and along the forest floor. Dark Waverly has lightened up and is original Waverly now and, thinking quickly, throws the book into the Garden door before it closes.

Waves runs to her unconscious girlfriend and tries to wake her up, placing a delicate kiss on her lips just in case all of those fairy tales were right (and knowing she has consent for all of their days). This does the trick and Nicole wakes up, but then winces in pain from a new tattoo she’s gotten at the metaphorical Boobie Munch Salon.There’s no doubt that she’s the angel’s shield now, and she’s got the ink to prove it.

The curtains close on a kiss, God knows

Waverly can’t believe that Nicole sacrificed herself for her, but Nicole points out that she didn’t really promise anything she wasn’t planning to do already — just a perpetual hang with the love of her life in their hometown. 

General Graham stumbles outside of BBD HQ and demands that Jeremy call, well, everyone. But Jeremy isn’t feeling it. When the red emergency phone rings, he tells them that everything’s fine but, unfortunately, General Graham didn’t make it. Graham can’t believe Jeremy is siding with the demons, but he doesn’t get it — Purgatory’s very fabric is woven with demons, and Black Badge was just making things worse by trying to quilt with it. He makes his prophecy about Graham come true by inviting Freddy the florist to have a mid-day snack.

The gang is at Shorty’s, except for Nedley, Rachel, and Billy, who are having celebratory “we’re alive!” burgers in The Big City. Everyone’s pretty excited that they can travel without a hardcore fog advisory now, but regardless of the weather, Wynonna just keeps putting blanket upon blanket on Doc to keep him warm and cozy. The two of them just look so happy with the weight of the world off their shoulders and surrounded with a metaphorical weighted blanket.

We can tell the end is near

Wynonna leans in for some mustache time and Nicole interrupts them with a clearing of her throat, because she wants to talk about “the issue at hand.” Dark Waverly’s taking a permanent vacation for now. A Doc-hatted Jeremy wonders if Nicole is talking about Black Badge and tells everyone that they’ve also retreated for now.

Where do we go from here?

Doc is distracted by his reflection — understandable just on a base level and also because he didn’t have one for so long. Yes, that’s right — now he’s just a regular old gunslinging dentist/former vampire, thanks to Dark Angel Waves and his desire to be a better person. He tells Wynonna he wants a fresh start, and this is the best news she’s heard since they found out kombucha would de-ogre Nedley.

Where do we go from here?

Nicole interrupts them again because none of them guessed what she wanted to talk about — it’s the wedding. She’s ready to marry Waverly, and why wait? It’s time to have ourselves some nuptials.

Where do we go from here?

Dominique Provost-Chalkley delivered another amazing performance this week as she completely morphed into Dark Waverly. Her mannerisms, her voice, her speech patterns, her body language — all completely different from the Earpiest Earp that we know and love. 

Oh, yeah, and what about Waverly’s book? Is it still blank? Does it remain unwritten? Or since Nicole has taken this heavenly burden from her, she can finally have a future now?

It’s a well-documented fact that this show has zero budget, and it’s always so impressive to me what they do with their fourteen Canadian dollars. Wynonna running through the woods was so scary, primarily because of the camera work and the music. 

The scene with Doc and Jeremy in the cell when Mercedes was dying is one of their best together. The dialogue was warm, heartfelt, and believable, and Varun and Tim made me feel all of the things. Jeremy, the jagged little nerd who never felt like he belonged, trusted Doc enough to be willing to sacrifice himself, and with a little bit of hero speech, Doc was able to push through. Jeremy’s gained such confidence since we first met him, and I just loved this moment for him.

I really liked the little moment with Nicole and Dark Waverly where Nicole is told the Garden isn’t for her “kind.” First of all, it’s not the first time Nicole has been “the wrong kind” in this show. Second, judging from the look on her face, she didn’t think her humanity was being referred to, but rather her sexuality. The weight and pressure of our upbringing is constantly at war with a lot of us queer people, even if we think we’ve come to terms with it, and Dark Waverly teling Nicole her kind isn’t welcome there really flips her switch for a moment. I appreciated the fact that this heavenly being reassured her it was just her non-supernatural qualities, not her sapphic ones, that were barring her from the Garden.

“Why?” “Because it’s her turn, Wynonna.” And that’s it in a nutshell, isn’t it? All this time, Waverly has wanted to be important. She wanted to break the curse, she wanted everyone to like her, she wanted her father to love her and pay attention to her. And now she technically has what she’s wanted all along, but be careful what you wish for, right? Because this isn’t how she wanted it to happen. She didn’t want to turn into an emotionless shell just to play a part in everyone’s story. 

And so what happens? Her person steps up, another woman who’s been struggling to find her place and where she belongs — and make sure that it’s done the right way. Nicole, who was left out of the blood oath with Black Badge, who often felt like she was the third wheel around her girlfriend and her sister, who literally got left behind when she broke her leg and Wynonna went to the Garden to save Waverly, is the one who gets her hero moment and to save her fiancee from a fate of sitting in one chair the rest of her life. And all it cost her was the agreement never to leave the Ghost River Triangle. A pretty good bargain, some would say. I am some. I say that. It’s a small price to pay to save the woman you love from a life alone.

This episode covered so much ground and made me feel all of the emotions — I shouted and jumped and cried and laughed and basically any other thing you can think of. The number of times the tension was broken with a self-deprecating joke or some gallows humor really just drove home the point that Emily Andras could comfortably spend time in my brain. I have been through some shit and the only way I’ve gotten through it has been making light of it, you know? So it really speaks to me when other characters do that, and this episode had highs of jokes to match its valleys of anxiety. 

There was so much sacrifice this week, with just about everyone saying “If I can’t be with you in whatever way, I don’t want to be here anymore.” It really drives home how important this family is and how lost they’d be if they had never found each other, and it made all of the stakes even higher. Doc, Jeremy, Wynonna, Waverly, and Nicole all said or acted on some form of this, and you could tell they really believed it. 

It feels right that Emily wrote these last two episodes…which may really be the last two ever, since we don’t know if it’s returning for season five. This show wouldn’t exist in the form we know it without any of the people involved, really, but it wouldn’t exist at all without Emily Andras. She’s given Wynonna and the group their heart, their sass, their bravery, and their fight, and she’s given a lot of us the family we never knew was possible. 

If there’s one thing Wynonna and Emily have taught me, it’s that there’s always another way, so I haven’t given up hope yet.

I may be the only one who can write my story, but I feel like Emily Andras would do a pretty good job of it, too.

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • Of course Mercedes was worried about her outfit. Of course she was.
  • I love that Jeremy was making a cross with his hands to keep Doc away from Mercedes.
  • Shout-out to the vampire Mercedes, who I hope gets her own spin-off. And nice foreshadowing of the first time we saw her, performing in the Glory Hole, with her fake fangs. We were so naive, so emotional. We had no idea what was to come. If we are blessed with a season five, I would love to see her manning the Glory Hole again, but this time in more of a managerial position.
  • Nicole was sad that they didn’t have time to get “Memento” tattoos, but life, uh, finds a way, doesn’t it?
  • I’m honestly surprised it’s taken four years for that “master baiter” line.
  • “I am a scion of the great guardian, Julian” okay, but he left his post and fathered a child, so let’s temper our use of the word “great” here, huh?
  • Wynonna and Doc in a duel makes my heart hurt.
  • If Waverly has scars from where Jolene cut room for her wings, might I suggest a course of coconut oil?
  • Sheriff “I’m not a bride” is the one to bring up the wedding? Yeah, that feels right.

Monica’s Favorite Lines:

  • The affairs of man are no longer my concern. I mean, same.
  • I’m no man. I’m the woman who will not watch you become this…thing.
  • Waverly…don’t leave me alone in the dark!
  • I’ve got you, Earp. Simple, familiar, but those four little words do a lot more lifting than they should.
  • Vamp permission granted. Now get over here and suck me off already!
  • What are you, a ‘90s modeling agency? I will eat who I want. No more diets!
  • Let’s fuck it up.
  • Looks like it’s just you and me. Let’s do it differently this time. 
  • Humans. Always a crisis. (CRISIS)
  • Some of these foods are human beings!
  • He’s also my florist.
  • You see, General, our town here? It’s pretty inclusive.
  • What is it, sire? There goes all my feminist street cred. 
  • I do not need a prison to best you, but your fear gets them excited.
  • You want me to do an OK — hey, maybe even a Great Corral with you, I’m gonna need some assurances.
  • Corral your emotions, dude.
  • Honestly, Haught, you can’t just interrupt intimate moments like that.
  • You’re still the champion. And the Earp heir. And my favorite sister. Top two, top two.

So everything’s tied up and all the baddies are gone, and all that’s left is hugs and puppies and what promises to be a problem-free WayHaught wedding that we all deserve after this terrible year. I’m sure there won’t be any surprises or drama and just a happy ending as we wait for word on season five. Right?

Right?

I’ll see you back here next time, friends, because for one more week…

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays at 10/9c on SYFY and CTV Sci-Fi.

Wynonna Earp Recap — Unwritten

Hello, friends, and welcome to another episode of Wynonna Earp! The first three episodes of the back half of Season 4B were a necessary breath of fresh air after the suffocating feel of this panoramic pizzelle. But Purgatory seems to have found its demon legs, because shit is going down. So grab your gas mask, check your back for angel wings, and be sure to honor the chili friends we made along the way, because here we go.

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Wynonna shot Holt in the back and has been a little bit wacky, Rachel’s not-quite-ex is a Reaper now, there’s a mind-altering fog that’s been oozing into the Ghost River Triangle from the Garden, a werewolf exists, and — oh, yeah, Waverly grabbed that book from the Garden and brought it home, but we don’t know which one. 

We open on a montage of Wynonna waking up in the barn, grabbing and loading Peacemaker, sending demons to meet their maker, and stumbling back to bed. Over and over and over. And over. And over. She’s getting a little more worn out the more it happens, her eyes growing more haunted and the whiskey growing more frequent. She keeps doing it, day after day, whimsical shirt after whimsical shirt paired with leather pants, but it’s really grating on her. Except one morning, she wakes up clutching her holster, the gun nowhere to be found.

I am unwritten
Can’t read my mind
I’m undefined

Wynonna panics and runs into the main house, grilling WaveNic about where her gun boss could be. She’s sad that there aren’t any coffee or doughnuts, but Nicole reminds her that supplies haven’t been able to get into Purgatory lately, thanks to BBD halting the supply trucks. Wynonna washes down some painkillers with some banana liqueur and explains how she accidentally may have possibly misplaced Peacemaker. You know, again. Waverly calmly asks if instead of a misplacement, could it instead be a blackout. What we have here is an intervention.

Wynonna doesn’t have time for this garbage, because her priority is finding her gun…which, good news, Waverly put in the drawer. They tell her that Wynonna’s acting like the one who’s possessed — not sleeping, hunting all the time, passing out drunk, rinse and repeat. But Wynonna insists she’s not “isolating” herself; she’s hunting alone, and until a new Earp heir or heir-adjacent pops up, she’s the only defense that her family has against any of this supernatural bullshit. 

But to Waverly, Peacemaker is just a gun — Wynonna is Wynonna. Her sister; her hero. And she doesn’t seem dedicated; she seems sad and lonely. She fires back at her sister that not everyone in this world gets a happy ending, scoffing at Waverly’s reminder that Doc loves her, then getting annoyed at the reminder that Nicole and Waverly do, too, then storming out, sans demon-killing gun. 

Waverly runs after her, and Wynonna tearfully shouts at her that the only “problem” she has isn’t a drinking one; it’s a demon one. But Waves isn’t so sure — maybe, like Jeannie last week, her big sister has grown to like the killing, because she’s not just killing demons anymore. Remember Holt? Yeah, she does, but she also remembers Waverly’s kill of Mam Clanton and doesn’t understand why her baby sis is attacking her with a double-standard. I mean, it’s because they were totally different kills, but why confuse her with the facts? Wynonna storms away, hurling insults at the one bright spot in her life, who she feels has finally given up on her.

I’m just beginning
The pen’s in my hand
Ending unplanned

A sad Waverly finds a sad Nicole and they wrap themselves up in one another, Nicole reassuring her that Wynonna will come around to Waverly’s way of thinking. Waverly starts to doubt if she’s even right at this point — is it better to keep the sad, lonely, drunk Wynonna around, just so she has some form of her sister? Or should she keep pushing, making Wynonna see that she has a serious problem? 

Nicole and her Stetson head to work, and Waverly makes a mysterious call to a mysterious person to meet at a mysterious place and for them to bring a mysterious thing, which, if you played the Mad Libs correctly, was a call to Doc to meet at the Garden stairs, and he brought along Waverly’s book from the Garden. Too bad he doesn’t have that carrying satchel. It complements his eyes.

The book she snatched was her own, and much to everyone’s surprise — theirs and ours — the book is blank. Still. No surprise that Waves took her own book, really — she’s a bit of a rule-follower, that one, and that’s part of the reason why I relate to her so much. She tells Doc to keep the book because she doesn’t want Wynonna to get the wrong idea. Or the right idea, whatever that may be, probably. Any idea, really. Best to keep her in the dark for now, especially with the fight they just had and how Wynonna is definitely not okay.

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Waves keeps hoping the book will have answers, but all it is is blank page after blank page, even though Waverly’s own story is filled with people. She thought she’d be able to see everyone’s story by choosing her own, and she doesn’t understand why the Garden would give her something that’s unreadable. Doc says the Garden was full of trickery, but Waverly didn’t see it that way. She felt calm, at peace when she was on the throne. It felt like she had no worries for the rest of her days, which Doc says sounds terrible but Waverly loved. I can see it from both points, really. Doc was alone for so long, and the thought of giving up his love and concern for the people he finally has seems like the worst-possible hell for him. But Waverly, who may not have the full weight of being the heir but has to help shoulder the burdens of Wynonna, of being one of the smart ones, of being the one who ultimately “outed” Willa as working with Bobo and who killed him, her one-time protector, and Mam Clanton, her family’s mortal enemy? It sure would be nice to just let all of that go for a while. It’s impressive that she was able to walk away at all, really.

Doc’s two head minions, Dallas and Remy, stumble upon the Garden Pals and just want a little angel-food-cake snack to tide them over. Doc shoots Dallas, but the bullet doesn’t have much of an effect, so Waverly brings out the big gun — literally — and tries to shoot him with Peacemaker, except Peacemaker isn’t as interested in listening to Waverly this time around and just clicks uselessly when she pulls the trigger. Temperamental gun, just like its owner. Or the couple took it before Wynonna did her daily loading.

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it

Regardless, now is the time for the running. Run, Waverly, run! 

At least this time she stayed away from the stairs…but ran head-first into the fog. 

She tries to hold her breath as she stumbles around in the non-Rihanna concert and hears someone calling her name. It’s familiar for some reason, and almost sickly sweet, and she runs towards the cabin where it’s coming from. But familiarity isn’t always a good thing, because the person calling her name was her old demon parasite friend, a newly blond Jolene.

Jol-e-e-ene.

Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

Turns out that, yes, Wynonna shot her, but remember how she was absorbed into that tree? When Bulshar died, the vines released her, and then she got trapped by the fog that Waverly let out of the Garden when she opened it up. Waverly tries to run, but Jolene knocks her out against the pillar in the middle of what looks like Boobie Munch Cabin. 

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in

Dallas reports back that Waverly is lost in the fog, and Doc tries to bargain with the demons, saying if they let her be, they can have whatever their hearts desire at The Glory Hole. Turns out it’s a bad day in Purgatory, because BBD raided The Glory Hole, leaving it empty with no one able to enjoy themselves there. Doc is troubled by this, and then even more troubled when the three of them are tranqed by BBD. 

Rachel finds Wynonna using an actual punching bag this time instead of Nicole, and she asks the heir to train her, since she’s the only one who treats her like she’s not a child. So she’s gone from her baby sister accusing her of turning into Ward Earp to Rachel Valdez, telling her she’s her only hope. And it’s still pretty early in the day.

No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Cleo is at BBD, trying to get permission to leave the GRT. She thinks her elite position as the magistrate should give her preferential treatment and bump her to the front of the line for exiting this fog-covered hellscape. The Ethel Beavers wannabe handling her case is pushing her paperwork as the door creaks open and a foul stench enters the room. No, it’s not Champ and his Axe body spray, trying to curry favor with the magistrate. It’s Billy the still-reaped Reaper, and he left his bus-of-old-people snack to hang out with his sister. Not-Ethel mentions the recent deaths in her family, which surprises Cleo, but it works in her favor — she’s approved to go through. 

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open

Wynonna is trying to “train” a backpacked Rachel, but the advice she’s giving isn’t super helpful. Rachel accuses her of trying to scare her off, but it isn’t working; they’re family. Wynonna’s counterpoint — they’re not family, which she sees as a compliment, because who in their right mind would want to be an Earp? They always end up alone. Being a Gibson girl is where it’s at.

EarpCheese finds a bleeding Remy and Rachel rushes to help him. Wynonna doesn’t get why she’d help a demon, but Rachel’s world isn’t quite so black and white. She’s just super into Remy’s Halsey cover band. 

Remy explains that Black Badge snatched some of the demons and got rid of some of the others. They took Dallas and Doc, which is better than when Waverly was consumed by the fog, and now Remy has Wynonna’s full attention. Everything is fucked.

Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh

Doc and Dallas come to in a jail of sorts, and when Doc asks to speak to Jeremy, the Head Dick in Charge, Graham, says he’s unfamiliar with Agent Chetri. One of Graham’s henchmen identifies Dallas’ demon type, and when they realize they already have one, an agent broils him alive with a flamethrower that would make Waverly jealous. Doc vamps out, and good news for him, they don’t have one of those yet. Doc gets to stay non-flambeed.

Jolene has Waverly tied up to a post in the middle of the cabin, but at least she’s able to sit down, even though her hands are behind her. A “reverse Willa,” if you will. Waverly tells her to stop wasting time — if she’s going to kill her, just do it, already. Jolene apologizes for “triggering” Waverly, and she points out it was more of an attempted destruction sort of situation. But it didn’t work, and that’s all that matters, right? Waves is surrounded by people who love and support her, and she got through it, coming out better on the other side. So to speak.

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries are outside the lines

Jolene says she’s not mad at her better angel half anymore, just sad and wants to help her, really, and Waves calls her a liar and says she’s clearly been in the fog too long. Turns out, though, Jolene is clearer than she’s been in a while — demons are just fallen angels, which is how she sees Waverly…and how she sees herself.

Jolene says they’re kin, even though Waverly may not want to call her “sister.” And I have to say, this is very specific language Jolene uses here. Bobo also called Waverly kin, and we are familiar with two sisters Waverly already has. Is this Jolene in sugar withdrawal, just spouting off whatever enters her demon brain? Or is this foreshadowing? 

We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes
But I can’t live that way

Nicole, Wynonna, and Rachel are at the edge of the fog, panicking about lost Waverly and Cleo Clanton and her all-you-can-eat buffet of bus seniors. They haven’t talked to Jeremy in days, and Nicole’s worried, since BBD has been gathering up demons…including Doc, Wynonna decides to mention. Nicole assures her that they’ll get Doc back, and a whole range of emotion passes over Wynonna’s face in a matter of seconds — agreement that they’ll get him back, worry that they won’t, stubbornness that she doesn’t care, and a bunch of stuff in between. Melanie Scrofano, my friends. Melanie Scrofano.

Wynonna’s clear on her priorities, though. Doc is just a vampire dentist who can take care of himself and Cleo is just a Clanton, but Waverly is Waverly. And to help them find her, she calls in Purgatory’s premiere fog expert/chili cooker, Casey. 

Nicole harnesses him up with her climbing gear (that stuff sure has come in handy), and when she and Wynonna both go to suit up, he tells them they must choose, and choose wisely. Only one of them can go. And of course, both think it should be them.

Both make excellent points, but here’s what it boils down to — it’s Nicole’s turn. She had to sit at home for 18 months after Wynonna went into the Garden looking for Waverly. She had to be alone, not knowing if her entire world was okay and if they’d ever come back to her. So it’s Wynonna’s turn to sit back this time. Nicole’s going. And Wynonna agrees, ostensibly so as not to waste time anymore, but really, I think, in part because she wouldn’t forgive herself if she put Nicole through that again, and she knows the only person who would fight as hard for Waverly as her is Haught Dog Shop.

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Wynonna is worried that Waverly will channel her inner Robin and rip her face off, but Waverly has much bigger problems than that. Jolene found Waverly’s bag (Waves yelling “that’s mine!” oddly did not deter her) and, in it, Wynonna’s demon-killing gun. But the gun must have been a Dyson shipper, because after only a few minutes, it starts to sizzle and Jolene has to drop it, which Waves tells her is because she’s not worthy. No big, says Jolene, out a different weapon. Time for a bag o’ knives, or at least one, because she owes Waverly pain.

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it

Waverly says Jolene can wave around her knife and threaten her all she wants, because she’s done being afraid of this particular demon. She tells Angel Pants to get comfortable and wanders over to a board with tick marks on it, and Waves asks if that’s a chart of how many days she’s been a guest at Boobie Munch Cabin. Ignoring her for now, Jolene asks (sister to sister!) if Waverly ever gets tired of being the “damsel in distress,” or does she just not want to be a hero…like when she refused to sit on the throne and stop Bulshar. 

But Waverly trusted her actual sister to get rid of that snake in the grass, but Jolene points out the consequences there — Wynonna “drinks herself to sleep every single night” while Waverly is, as she said in the last episode, so close to happy. Is Waverly punishing Wynonna because she’s the chosen one and Waverly wasn’t? 

Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

Waverly, almost looking like she’s convincing herself, insists she’s had Wynonna’s back all along, but not lately, Jolene says. All this angelic power, and what’s she focusing on? Planning a wedding. And I can’t do her response justice without quoting it word for word, so here you go — “Save your patronizing mouth garbage. I can be a hero and a wife.” But that’s not what Jolene is getting at. Waverly has worked so hard all these years to be special — being nice, being perfect, working hard, supporting everyone. And now she is special, but she refuses to tap into an unknown power, because no amount of being special is worth being out of control. 

Jolene turns her head back to the tick marks — those aren’t the days Jolene’s been keeping secrets at Boobie Munch Cabin. They’re Wynonna’s kills — demons and humans both — to save her sister. And all Waverly has to do to make that go away — to let Wynonna sleep through the night, to stop nursing a bottle of whiskey, to try and have a happier life — is to accept who she is and the power that comes along with it. 

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in

And the sister who’s supposed to be the nice one’s response to the possibility that maybe she is the reason her beloved sister — her most special person — has had a terrible life? She headbutts Jolene.

Jol-e-e-ene.

No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Back at the edge of the fog, Nicole passes Wynonna a walkie-talkie and tells her the signal is three tugs on the line if they need to be pulled back in. Good choice, because frantic groin rubbing would be difficult to see through the fog.

Nicole and Casey mask up and head into the fog, Nicole grabbing his shoulder so she doesn’t get lost. Wynonna and Rachel check in almost immediately, but Nicole can’t see anything, even her chili-cooking tour guide. Casey spots a cabin and the two head towards it, and inside they find a tied-up Waverly. He goes to free her, but there’s sounds of a scuffle and Casey yells for Nicole to get out. After what feels like forever of silence, Nicole gets back on the walkie and tells her she doesn’t know how, but the other thing in the cabin is Jolene.

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open

Jol-e-e-ene.

And we don’t see any of this — we experience it just how Wynonna and Rachel do, through Nicole’s spotty narration and whatever sounds make it over the walkie.

Wynonna doesn’t understand, since, you know, she killed Jolene, and Rachel is insisting they need to pull their friends back in after there are three tugs on the cord. Wynonna doesn’t want to because tugs are tugs but Waverly is Waverly. Rachel insists, and Wynonna does end up helping her. On the other end of the line is a dead Casey but just a sliced rope where Nicole should be.

A panicked Wynonna is shouting for Nicole through the walkie, and finally, Nicole answers. She’s…somewhere, unsure where, and safe, but alone. Waverly is still with Jolene, somewhere in the fog. She screams for Nicole as Jolene slams the door, and Waverly threatens to do…something if Jolene hurts her family. Jolene basically calls her bluff, knowing that Waverly is a wicca who won’t-a, but then Waverly manages to break free of the rope. She points Peacemaker at her worst sister, but it starts to sizzle and she has to drop it. Guess the cabin has nudged our angel more towards the demon side. She charges Jolene and impales her on a coat hook, a wound that echoes on Waverly, and then Jolene stabs her in the back, pulling out a delicate, bloody black feather. 

Today is where your book begins

Wynonna slowly covers Casey with a blanket and tells Rachel they have to leave him, even though Rachel wants to take him home for burial. He’s their friend and he deserves respect, but Rachel isn’t getting it. They need to get to Waverly now, because she’s trapped with the demon who’s been after her her entire life. Wynonna’s only current plan is “save Waverly,” and she’s not sure on the specifics, but she needs to act now. Rachel doesn’t get what the hurry is — if Waverly’s still alive, Jolene’s plan obviously isn’t to kill her — and Wynonna finally admits it’s not just about that. The last thing she said to Waverly was calling her “a sanctimonious asshole,” and that can’t be the final words to her most important thing.

Nicole pipes up that Waves knows how Wynonna really feels, and what she couldn’t handle is Wynonna dying, so it’s time for Plan B, because that always has worked so well in the past. They try and get ahold of Jeremy for his fog cure, but he’s still incommunicado. Nicole’s radio is about to die, so Wynonna tells her to get back to their location as soon as she can and leaves Rachel in charge of Casey’s body. 

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you

Doc is being marched at gunpoint through BBD, and his captor tells him he’s lucky because he gets “a one-way ticket on the ark,” and, no, things aren’t about to get even more biblical up in here. It’s just an expression. He sees Jeremy in another cell and tries to explain that there’s been a mistake, and it turns out Jeremy is in “the feed pen,” which sounds like it could be problematic. Doc takes the gun from his captor, Volkov, but Jeremy convinces him not to shoot, telling the other agent to go home and make sure his family can get out. 

Jeremy explains that he’s been locked up because “upper management” (The Powers That Be?) issued an order he’d never heard of, and when he challenged it, they locked him up. Desperate to get out, instead of trying to find a keycard, Doc shoots the card reader, bringing down a rain of BBD agents upon him. Whoops.

No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Wynonna’s pounding on doors at Black Badge, trying to get someone to open up. She finally succeeds and gets General Graham, the highest of upper management, and I just want to say, what a great name. He’s excited because he just got here and thinks Wynonna will make an excellent soldier in his army, but she isn’t going anywhere with anyone until she has her sister and her friends. Graham explains that the fog is about to eat the GRT for breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, and dinner, so she can’t stay, but, again, he just got here, and that argument obviously doesn’t work on our Earp heir. She’s not running; she’s staying and fighting, but he tells her fighting is not an option. There’s nothing they can do to combat the fog, but Wynonna doesn’t care. She didn’t survive two chili cookoffs just to be bested by a heavenly ground cloud. 

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open

She demands to be taken to Jeremy, and she finds him in the cell with Doc. She asks for them both, and Graham tells him she can only have one, and she needs to choose…wisely. A look of understanding passes between Wynonna and Doc, maybe the first time they’ve actually seen each other in months, and she tells Jeremy the jagged little nerd is coming with her. The general suggests that she take Doc because he’ll be a better fighter, and suddenly, Wynonna spies a Clanton out of the corner of her eye. She says goodbye to both of her boys, because Cleo’s the victor in this most dramatic rose ceremony ever. Wynonna keeps apologizing to them as Jeremy shouts that they’re about to be turned into food and Doc begs her to reconsider.

Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Jolene cradles a bloody Waverly in her arms, and Waverly is begging her to make the pain stop. But Waverly’s the only one who can write her story, remember? Only she can stop her own pain, by becoming what she’s been all along. She just wants to go home, but Jolene berates her, telling her she needs to let her true nature out. 

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Rachel has picked some wildflowers for Casey and promises to bring him home when they’re done and builds him a little shelter, too. Wynonna finally finds her again and says how nice the flowers are, and Rachel asks if this is what it’s like for Wynonna — just being surrounded by death and pain all the time. It is.

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it

Rachel asks where everyone is, and Wynonna just tells her to come along. She grabs a chunk of Jolene’s hair from Casey’s hand and leads Rachel to a clearing, where Cleo is setting up a familiar ritual. She explains her plan — the Clanton heir will set a Reaper after Jolene, and Wynonna will follow him through the fog. Rachel just wants to make sure the Reaper isn’t Billy, and Wynonna’s mouth says no but the look she gives Cleo just says “shut the fuck up.” She hands the gun to the teenager and tells her to shoot Cleo if she does anything wrong. 

Much to Cleo’s delight, she’s able to summon the Reaper correctly, and surprise — Wynonna can see Billy the Reaper, too. She added a strand of Wynonna’s hair to the spell so the Reaper would be visible to her, and I’m just worried about the consequences of this, but I guess that’s future us’s problem, isn’t it?

Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

Cleo clips a leash to Billy’s neck and bids him goodbye, then halfheartedly wishes a now-masked Wynonna luck, kind of, because, like Spike in “Family,” she doesn’t care what happens. A whistle from the Clanton heir, and Billy and Wynonna head into the fog. Wynonna throws open the door of the cabin and demands that Jolene get away from Waverly. The two demons engage in some fisticuffs, and Wynonna tries to get Waverly to stand up, although her pain is so much that she can barely stand. Waverly tells her to find Peacemaker and send Jolene to Hell…and then, if worst comes to worst, do the same with her.

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in

The Reaper distraction is over, though, and Jolene Carries Wynonna out the door without her mask and into the fog as Waverly screams after her. Jolene taunts Waverly that Wynonna died knowing that Waverly didn’t love her enough to even try, and this is the final button press that our angel needed. 

An otherworldly scream comes out of her mouth and the area around her eyes goes dark, sort of if Gooverly had a goth/Crow phase. Jolene welcomes the demon Waverly — Wavermon? Deverly? — whose first order of business is killing her tormentor with her brain, robbing Jolene of the chance to see Waverly destroy the world.

No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Doc and Jeremy are trying to parse out what’s going on at BBD. Some demons are going to the ark since The Noah Protocol — hilarious — was activated. The humans are being kept as cheap food for the demons to eat, a real, live Doublemeat Palace of sorts. 

Suddenly, the finest food Purgatory has to offer peers around the corner — it’s Mercedes, a vision in 1980s Hope Brady-esque shoulder pads. She’s been hiding in the vents for hours and produces a stolen key card, which won’t work on the destroyed card reader. She asks Jeremy to hotwire the card reader, and as he’s doing that, she explains what her day was like. She was ready to go onstage when BBD showed up looking for a good time at The Glory Hole.

Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open

Jeremy manages to open the door, but then General Graham shows up. Jeremy tries to reason with him — this isn’t what BBD is about — but Graham tells him that their vow of “protection” is useless. They can’t protect anyone. But what they can do is take “their most valuable assets” with them — demons. Mercedes tries to reason with him and name-drop a very important custodian, but Graham just…shoots her. Mercedes. In the stomach. Mercedes.

Noooooooooo.

Wynonna’s crawling through fog on the forest floor, trying not to inhale. It finally recedes enough for her to breathe and still keep her noggin intact. She sees a figure coming toward her through the fog — it’s Waverly. Kind of. Just not the Waverly she knows. She must have gone to Jolene’s salon, too, because her hair is slicked back to match her demon eyes. 

Waverly tells Wynonna that her journey is over while hers has just begun…as two angel wings sprout from her back. 

Today is where your book begins

RIP, Casey. He’s like that acquaintance you had from another time in your life, or a friend you have now that you just don’t have as much time to get to know as you’d like, and then suddenly they’re gone and a crushing sadness passes over you. The last time we saw him, he just kept saying what a fuck-up he was, but with Doc’s help, he realized he can be both a fuck-up and a hero, and Nicole wouldn’t have gotten as far as she did without him. I’m sad that he’s gone, and I’m grateful for the time that we had together. Andrew Phung brought such a chaotic-yet-comfortable energy to the role, and I can safely say that Casey is one of those characters we’ll still be missing in years to come. 

I think that the fight that Wynonna and Waverly had at the beginning has been building for these last few episodes. Wynonna sees herself as a person who will never be truly happy, really, and who uses sex and alcohol to dull her pain, and she feels her beacon of hope slowly slipping further and further away as she and Nicole get closer to their wedding. And she’s not just losing another sister; she feels like she’s losing her best friend in Nicole, too. Waverly, Waverly, Waverly, loved by everyone and finally giving up on her like everyone else has. She is just too stubborn and under Peacemaker’s control to see that Waverly is trying to save her, not leave her. She wants them to be happy together, not for Wynonna to always be on the outside looking in at a smiling, laughing WayHaught. 

And the scenes between Jolene and Waverly? Absolutely amazing. Both Zoie and Dom used every bit of real estate available to them — vocally, spatially, emotionally. Each and every scene was just perfect. It’s a damn shame that genre shows seldom get recognized for acting awards, because in addition to Melanie Scrofano being able to wallpaper her house with them, these two ladies should get every single award available just for this episode. They went for it and trusted the script to do the ground work, then just went beyond. 

Oh, yeah, how about that script, friends? Noelle Carbone crafted another one for the books. Despite all of the heavy losses from beginning to end, this may be one of my favorite episodes ever. I got goosebumps several times throughout, gasping and clutching my gay pearls and just staring, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. I continue to be impressed with these writers, and I’m so glad they’ve landed at our shit show. 

Jolene attacking Waverly for spending her time and energy on “silly” things like wedding planning really struck a chord for me, too. How many of us have been attacked or mocked because how we use our time seems like a waste to someone else? “I wish you still went to church.” “Why are you going to travel so far? A convention for what?” “It’s just a TV show.” But Waverly gets it — we can have it all. She can be a hero and a wife. I can be a grown-up and a fangirl. Like being hot and being smart, they’re not mutually exclusive. And if we have our family behind us — the important family, the one that we chose — the sky’s the limit, and not just for a funeral. 

Wynonna told Jeannie last week that she could stop what was coming, but battling a demonic version of her sister? That may be the one thing that she won’t let herself stop. Could she do it? For sure. Is she strong enough? Most definitely. Would she be able to handle the emotional toll of shooting yet another sister? I don’t think she could, and I hope we don’t have to find out.

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness:
  • The first demon Wynonna shot kind of looked like a hipster Cowardly Lion. 
  • Maybe that Garden book is more of a journal than a novel; kind of like it’s a keepsake from the Garden Gift Shop™. Waverly’s the only one who can write her story, after all. Maybe she should prove the pen is mightier than the (Peacemaker) sword and show everyone how it’s done.
  • Very on brand that Wynonna is less concerned about being an abusive asshole than she is about Waverly thinking she’s an abusive asshole.
  • I gasped when Jolene slapped Waverly. Is it because of the actual slap or because Zoie Palmer looked so good in that flannel? NO ONE KNOWS.
  • I loved the “FOR FREEDOM” shout-out.
  • Wynonna screaming “Waverly” into the fog, so helpless and panicked, just broke my heart.
  • Two MFM mentions in as many episodes!
  • Mercedes’ time onscreen may have been brief, but it was absolutely perfect.
Monica’s Favorite Lines:
  • Yeah, sure. Obi-Wan Wynonni, at your service.
  • Purgatory’s not a place where people get to be kids.
  • You covered Kraft Dinner with kimchi and weed.
  • Knew you and I would get here eventually.
  • Well, if marrying my sister was legal, I’d have done it already, so check your privilege. 
  • Strap in! Strap on! Get your…stuff.
  • Save your patronizing mouth garbage. I can be a hero and a wife.
  • Imagine the weight of all of that blood on her hands because you wouldn’t lift one single angelic finger just to help her.
  • I’ve been defending our shithole for too long against too many powerful enemies to lose it to magic weather. 
  • Are you really taking me to see Jeremy, or is this a “stay sexy; don’t get murdered” situation?
  • I’m so sorry…for so many things.

Friends, I love pickles, but I do not love the one we’re in right now. I’d like to tell myself everyone’s gonna be okay, but I’ve watched the show for four seasons, and I know that’s not always the case. Join me here for the only kind of unpacking you’ll do during a quarantined pandemic! But at least…

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays at 10/9c on SYFY and CTV Sci-Fi.

Holding Out for a Hero

Hello, friends. As you probably know about me, sometimes I can’t help but get songs stuck in my head when I’m thinking about TV shows I love. Lately, Supergirl has been bringing up one of my favorite ’80s power ballads, but the words haven’t seemed exactly right to me lately, so I went ahead and made up my own.

If you’re not familiar with the song, you should listen to it because it’s whatever the kids say a good song is these days (a bop? a banger? runaway pop hit?). You can listen to the original or, for Supergirl bonus points, you can sing along to Melissa’s version of it from Glee, which features some of the best cape tricks I myself have ever seen, not to mention lovely vocals and whip tricks from Becca Tobin.

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Where have all the women gone

Where’s the cunning Artemis to fight the men and their stories?

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Isn’t there a genius working in a lab?

Late at night I toss and I turn

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I need a hero

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I’m holding out for a hero who can rip off her specs

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She’s gotta be strong

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And she’s gotta be fast

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And she’s gotta be smarter than Lex

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I need a hero

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I’m holding out for a hero who can also be soft

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She’s gotta be firm

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And she’s gotta have hope

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And even better if she lives in a loft

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Lives in a loft

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Somewhere deep in L Corp Lena’s working in a lab

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She’s saving the world every day

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Flying over on a bus and tall buildings she can leap

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Too late, Superman, she’s already been swept off of her feet

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I need a hero

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I’m holding out for a hero who can rip off her specs

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She’s gotta be strong

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And she’s gotta be fast

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And she’s gotta be smarter than Lex

Supergirl 512-Screenshot (7767)

I need a hero

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I’m holding out for a hero who can also be soft

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She’s gotta be firm

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But she’s gotta have hope

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And even better if she lives in a loft

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I need a hero

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It’s not just Supers and Luthors

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I could swear there is someone, somewhere

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Through the misogynistic storylines I just miss my strong girls

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It’s called “Supergirl,” after all, not “Clutch Lex’s Pearls”

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We need some heroes

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You gave us these strong female characters

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I need a hero

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She’s gotta treat Lena and try and unpack

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I need a hero

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We’ve got to get more of her saving the day

alex deo science

I need a hero

Supergirl 507-23 dansen hug

She’s gotta spend time with her girlfriend again Dressed to the nines and ready to stun

supercorp flirt 4

I need a hero

 

Well, friends, I hope this brought you as much joy as it brought me to write it. If this made you smile or brought some joy to your life, consider buying me a Ko-fi and keep me in Lakehawks merch.

#EarperView with Lena Luthor

I mean, honestly, did you expect someone else?

We’re ending the week on a high note with an EarperView with my favorite CEO and media mogul, Lena Luthor. Obviously Lena loves her some Earp — strong women standing up to the forces of evil, quipping all the way? That’s my Lena’s jam. Take a look and see why she started watching, how she feels about Evelyn Andrews, and maybe why we Earpers should all be thanking her.

Tell us a little bit about your non-Earper alter ego.

I am the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company that I recently rebranded to focus on the good I am doing, as opposed to being a front for my homicidal brother to take down his nemesis. I’m also the editor of Catco Worldwide magazine but am actually not that interested in whether or not you wear high-waisted shorts. I spend a lot of time in the lab trying to change the world for the better, and one of my biggest turnoffs is dishonesty, especially regarding the fundamental truths of who you are as a person, and especially when every person I love is dishonest about that fundamental truth. Other than Wynonna, I’m a huge fan of everything Phoebe Waller-Bridge creates. Oh, and One Tree Hill.

How did you find Wynonna Earp and the fandom?

My best friend former best friend introduced me to the show. I used to think she was a big fan of the Earp Sisters, but now I’m starting to wonder if it was the draw of everyone having secret wives, since she has been keeping a pretty big secret of her own.

Um…she likes pineapple on her pizza, and she never told me. That’s the secret.

Is this your first fandom?

When I was in middle school, I used to write Saved by the Bell fanfic. I had to hide it from my mother, who thought I should be creating the great American novel as a pre-teen. But I just really shipped Kelly and Jessie.

What is your favorite fandom memory?

When season four was announced…for the second time. 

What is your favorite con memory?

I met a lovely Earper who taught me how to make origami swans.

What is your favorite Wynonna Earp/Earper activity?

I really have such an appreciation for the fan art. My guest room in one of my homes — well, my — er…a friend calls it “The Wynonna Room.” There are just pictures of Wynonna everywhere. This fandom is so talented.

What has Wynonna Earp come to mean to you?

People you can trust. When your brother turns out to be a homicidal maniac, your step-mother is quite possibly a sociopath, and the girl you love turns out to have been lying to you from the moment you met her, Earpers will always be there for you. #EarperSupport 

*the girl you love in a friend way

Are there any pictures you’d like to share of your Wynonna Earp experience?

lena 1

People who say that you should never meet your idols have never met Emily Andras.

lena 2\

Buying a publishing company means you get to go and visit the set. This first picture just screams “chemistry!”

lena 5

Just clowning around with Natalie on set. Also, I channeled my inner Waverly as to what was weather appropriate that day.

lena 4

An alternate take of the machine-gun barn scene. We really are three badass bitches.

lena 3

I’ll always treasure that time I went to the PCAs with the group. I’m a natural fit, don’t you think?

What is your favorite use for coconut oil?

I like to synthesize it into Harun-el; it makes it absorb into the bloodstream faster. It’s also a great moisturizer to show off my arms when I wear my Lakehawks jersey, and it helps me get my hair in the tightest of buns. The only messy buns here are at Noonan’s.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you Fandras?

10. Like me, Emily Andras is the best.

Describe why Fandras is a thing in 7 words or less.

She could stay the night, if she wants.

I know that’s 8 words. Luthors don’t play by the rules.

What is your favorite Earp sisters moment?

I’ve been poisoned, attacked by a drone, thrown off of a building, shot at, had my helicopter sabotaged, drugged and placed in a chemical-stuffed plane whose engine stopped working, and marched through a Kryptonian forest through astral projection…and this question is the worst attack I’ve ever experienced.

How have you Earped your life?

I commissioned a custom mural of the most complex and misunderstood character on the show for my dining room.

 

What’s the Earpiest thing you’ve ever done?

My…Kara came to me and explained about the Fight for Wynonna. We were both fans of the show, of course (StacherForLife!), but it was especially important to Kara. And what matters to Kara mattered to me. So I had my assistant do a little digging, and I ended up buying IDW Entertainment. They dug their heels in a bit and caused a delay because they thought they could play hardball with me, but obviously they’ve never negotiated with Lena Luthor. Before they knew what hit them, Wynonna and Waverly and Nicole and Doc and Jeremy and Willa were mine. I am going through a bit of a rough patch with Kara right now, and we aren’t exactly seeing eye to eye, but no matter what, we’ll always have Wynonna. Hopefully things will be better by the time season four premieres next year.

Friends, thank you for taking this EarperView journey with me this week! I hope you had as much fun reading them as I did writing them. If I made you chuckle this week, consider supporting me and buying me a coffee or two.

Until next time, my friends.

#EarperView with Haught’s Top Button

Sometimes the fandom goddess smiles upon me, and I get to interview elusive, seldom-seen members of the Wynonna Earp community.

Tell us a little bit about your non-Earper alter ego.

Well, my very existence is dependent on Wynonna Earp, so there’s not a lot of non-Earping going on, even though no one has actually seen me. I do occasionally make an appearance on laundry day when Nicole air-dries me over the radiator.

How did you find Wynonna Earp and the fandom?

I mean, I guess it’s more accurate to say they found me…or at least saw where I wasn’t, if that makes sense.

Is this your first fandom?

It is, and what a lovely one. All everyone wants to do is make sure I feel included, while simultaneously wishing that I never appear onscreen. It’s nice, though. I guess.

What is your favorite fandom memory?

When I popped out and spent some time in Nedley’s Office. But Nicole found me soon after and sewed me back on, even though she never uses me.

What is your favorite con memory?

The Best Photo Op™ in existence. Please see below.

What is your favorite Wynonna Earp/Earper activity?

I really am partial to the cosplayers.

What has Wynonna Earp come to mean to you?

Even if sometimes I feel invisible, I know that people always appreciate me. I may feel like I am floating along aimlessly in life with no real purpose, but Earpers help me feel seen.

Are there any pictures you’d like to share of your Wynonna Earp experience?

button.jpg

The only picture of me in existence.

What is your favorite use for coconut oil?

If I have trouble slipping into the hole, I just use a tiny bit to slide right on in. That’s big top-button energy.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you Fandras? 

12/10. She just fits.

Describe why Fandras is a thing in 7 words or less.

Made a star out of a button.

What is your favorite Earp sisters moment?

“Everyone hates you.” “I’m aware.” It’s a tiny little throwaway line, but it says so much about both characters and how they feel about the town they’re in.

How have you Earped your life?

For Halloween, I cosplayed Doc Holliday. I drew a tiny mustache between my thread holes.

What’s the Earpiest thing you’ve ever done?

Listen, I always wanted the spotlight. I did. But I realized that with this show, it’s not about me. It’s more important that I step aside and let someone else be seen. If that’s not being Earpy, I don’t know what is.

 

Thanks for reading, friends! I hope you enjoyed yourself and this silly little thing I wrote. Special thanks to Jill and Megan for allowing me to use their photo op! I’ll see you back here tomorrow for this week’s final EarperView. If this (and I in general) made you laugh, consider buying me a coffee!

 

#EarperView with Willow Rosenberg

Hello, friends, and happy Wednesday! Today’s subject is our favorite wicca who loves yellow crayons, Willow Rosenberg! Take a gander to see why Willow is all in on Earp and how she feels about who I’m assuming was her namesake.

Tell us a little bit about your non-Earper alter ego.

Well, I’m a badass wicca with a serious love for the Earp sisters. I help my friend out with her…vocation, and I have saved the world. A lot. I’m usually the smartest person in the room, but nowadays I also try to be the nicest. I live with my wife, Tara, in what some could describe as an AU situation, but we’re very happy together. She had a health scare a few years ago with a stray bullet, but thanks to physics, it didn’t actually come anywhere near her, and we were able to avert the apocalypse together one more time. We live with our cat, Miss Kitty Fantastico, and own our local magic shop, a business we purchased from my former librarian/current father figure, Giles. We are happy and in love and everything you’d ever want people named Willow and Tara to be, okay?

How did you find Wynonna Earp and the fandom?

I was a big Lost Girl fan, especially because of the way they handled sexuality. Like, they didn’t feel the need to label anyone; it just was. I found it refreshing and honest, and I appreciated the representation. I saw Wynonna Earp advertised during its final season, and I checked it out. I was immediately hooked by Waverly — I feel seen when I see her — but Jeremy has actually come to be my favorite character. He and Robin have a love that’s pure. But I’ll never stop loving Waverly. When she cries, I cry.

Is this your first fandom?

I used to write Star Trek: TNG fanfic. What? It’s not illegal.

What is your favorite fandom memory?

I really try to use my magic for good, but sometimes I enter a grey area, like when I found some of the trolls that have been harassing the good folks of the Earper family and deleted their accounts. That is my best fandom memory.

What is your favorite con memory?

Getting trapped in an elevator with some of my favorite Earpers. You know who you are.

What is your favorite Wynonna Earp/Earper activity?

I really like when a group of Earpers gets together and drink the blood of our enemies so that we can absorb their power. Kidding! I mean axe throwing. Definitely axe throwing. 

What has Wynonna Earp come to mean to you?

Family. My biological family isn’t much to brag about, and in Sunnydale, I found people who basically took me into their family. The people who share my family tree aren’t the ones who value me the most, and that’s the same for Wynonna (except for Waverly, of course). I just feel so happy to have found the Robin to my Jeremy, the Nicole to my Waverly, and the Bobo to my Willa. Tara is my family, just like Fish was Levi’s.

Are there any pictures you’d like to share of your Wynonna Earp experience?

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What is your favorite use for coconut oil?

Tara and I like to use it for the same thing I wanted to use the cooking oil for in the video game Chaos Bleeds. Too obscure? Let’s just say we use it for EVERYTHING at our commune. Like, everything.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you Fandras?

A googol.

Describe why Fandras is a thing in 7 words or less.

She fights for all of us.

Oh, sorry, I have seven words? 

She fights for all of us…bitch.

What is your favorite Earp sisters moment?

I absolutely love the badass walk of the sisters after they’ve fought the spiders and are covered in goo. There are more emotional moments, sure, but it’s just a cute, funny moment, and very indicative of the show’s vibe.

How have you Earped your life?

I told Tara that we’re naming our next cat Optimug Prime.

What’s the Earpiest thing you’ve ever done?

I wrote an essay on why Willa Earp was created, not born, and why her alcoholic, abusive father was mostly to blame for her attitude towards Waverly. She had bad tendencies, sure, but when you took Ward’s upbringing and combined it with the treehouse and then the cult, well, that’s how villains are made. Sometimes nature takes a tiny bit of nurture and turns it into a garbage fire. *cough* Rack *cough* This essay, entitled “My Heart Willa Go On,” was written purely for my own entertainment. And if the subject matter wasn’t Earpy enough, creating something just because it gave you joy? That feels pretty Earpy to me.

 

Thanks for reading, friends, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Love my take on Willow as an Earper? Buy me a coffee!

#EarperView with a PSL

Hello, friends, and happy second day of EarperViews! What better way to welcome the second week of September than with my wife’s favorite drink? I sat down with the salted caramel mocha’s competition to see what makes it Earp.

Tell us a little bit about your non-Earper alter ego.

When I’m not Earping, I’m spreading my warm fall goodness in all of the mouths that want it.

How did you find Wynonna Earp and the fandom?

Someone was sipping me on the Game of Thrones set (maybe you heard about me), and I heard some of the props people talking about this show featuring a kickass lady and some sweet, sweet representation. I thought, “That is this latte’s jam!”

Is this your first fandom?

I am embarrassed to admit that I used to be a huge Friends fan. I mean, one of their hangouts was a coffee shop. Too bad about how problematic it is. Oof. That show has not aged well.

What is your favorite fandom memory?

I really like when people Earp their coffees.

What is your favorite con memory?

Meghan Heffern always seeks out an independent coffee shop when she’s at a con, and I appreciate that about her. Makes me feel seen. She’s a good blend, that one.

What is your favorite Wynonna Earp/Earper activity?

Cosplay. One time, I dressed as soothing sunshine herbal tea. Another time, I dressed as Optimug Prime. I tried to get them to hire me as myself, but apparently the ol’ PSL isn’t “Canadian enough.”

What has Wynonna Earp come to mean to you?

Be the person who you know you can be, even if it seems like everyone hates you or finds some reason to pick apart who you are. You can’t change who you are or what your flavor is (which was never supposed to contain pumpkin, but instead be used in conjunction with pumpkin), but what you can change is your pride about your existence. I am a goddamn perfect blend of spices blended with a steamed milk and espresso, and I’ve got work to do.

Are there any pictures you’d like to share of your Wynonna Earp experience?

Well, I tried to get on the show, but there was always an excuse as to why I “wasn’t right for the role,” though I think I would have been amazing.

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I would have been great in this scene, but they went with something older, as you can see.

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“Jeremy would never drink a PSL in Optimug Prime.” Okay, Andras, I think I know what people would drink, but life your life.soothing

“She can’t drink a PSL. She’s pregnant.”

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“We need to use whiskey for historical accuracy.”

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“Dolls is allergic to nutmeg.”

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And here’s a shot with my cousin, the chestnut latte. It was down to the two of us, and they thought chestnut “fit more with the theme of Kiersten’s sweater.”

What is your favorite use for coconut oil?

If you put it in me, you get a coconut PSL, and you can use that for all of your drink needs at the commune.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you Fandras?

Motherfucking 392.

Describe why Fandras is a thing in 7 words or less.

She spices up our life perfectly.

What is your favorite Earp sisters moment?

“I’m not saying it’s gonna be okay. I’m just saying I’m here.” 

How have you Earped your life?

Sometimes I pretend like I’m in the well with that tall drink of coffee, Doc Holliday.

What’s the Earpiest thing you’ve ever done?

Well, some people think I shouldn’t be around yet since it isn’t even fall, so I guess you could say that, like Wynonna, I’m pretty good at interrupting. Also, I follow around the wife of the EarperView creator basically wherever she goes, which seems pretty Earpy to me. That Chris loves herself a PSL.

 

Thanks for reading, friends! See you back here tomorrow! Did this make you chuckle, chortle, or snicker? Consider buying me a coffee!

#EarperView with Widow Beth

Hello, friends, and welcome to a full week of EarperViews! Today we are joined by the lovely Widow Beth, who you all know from season two of our dear show Wynonna Earp. Villain? Or just misunderstood? Take a gander at this Earper’s info below and you decide.

Tell us a little bit about your non-Earper alter ego.

Well, I spend a lot of time trying to raise my dead husband, who you may know as Bulshar or Sheriff Clootie, depending on how close you are to him. I like to spend time with my sister wives, Constance and “Mercedes.” But, you know, less time with Constance since she locked all of the rest of us up for over a hundred years. That bitch. She was always jealous of my bustle.

How did you find Wynonna Earp and the fandom?

They were just right there waiting for me when I escaped that box. I know those Earpers say they’re here for the heir or the queer rep, but I’m pretty sure they just love themselves some Widow Beth. 

Is this your first fandom?

I actually used to run a fansite for Big Love

What is your favorite fandom memory?

I loved the the Earpers’ reaction to when Gooverly ate the spider. 

What is your favorite con memory?

I attended a really great meet & greet at a recent con, but then I accidentally ate all of the attendees because someone played the wrong Taylor Swift song.

What is your favorite Wynonna Earp/Earper activity?

Exacting revenge on my enemies.

What has Wynonna Earp come to mean to you?

Sisterhood. And stripper buses.

Are there any pictures you’d like to share of your Wynonna Earp experience?

Widow Beth 2I do love me some Hanson.

Widow Beth 1

Just taking a rest on a random Earper at a con while some do-good nerd holds my bag.

What is your favorite use for coconut oil?

I love to use it to please my husband.

He likes it when I use it to make muffins. What did you think I meant?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you Fandras?

I mean, 10. Like, I’m totally an evil demon from hundreds of years ago who is just in Purgatory to wreak havoc, but I do love me some Evelyn Andrews.

Describe why Fandras is a thing in 7 words or less.

My character? Still sympathetic. Genius writing, that.

What is your favorite Earp sisters moment?

When Waverly betrayed Wynonna and sold out Doc’s ring to save Nicole. Good times.

How have you Earped your life?

Oh, I totally ship Jetri. #UnkillableGaySquad And I asked Michelle Earp for her stuffing recipe. It’s delicious!

What’s the Earpiest thing you’ve ever done?

Don’t tell my sister, but one time I cosplayed as Wynonna and stole her truck.

 

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