Hello, friends! Hopefully I’ve shaken off my recapping rust and the last recap proved enjoyable. It’s really, really nice to be back in the swing of things. I know I miss this show when it’s on hiatus, so hopefully between the podcast and the recaps, I’m helping bring some enjoyment into your lives.

And if not…well, why are you reading? Did you lose a bet? Those are weird terms, but okay.

So, grab a towel (because of those pesky taps), get your snack of lady fingers (GET IT?!), and make sure you have ALL OF YOUR SWAGGER, HAUGHT PANTS STYLE, and let’s do this thing.

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

• Oh, I do love Doc Holliday’s voice.
• Really, Dolls? You think you can tell Wynonna to be discreet and then it’s all just gonna be okay?
• Dolls says “I don’t gamble,” and then sends Wynonna into a crowded bar with the wrong gun after a Revenant. That seems like gambling to me.
• This is the correct answering look to the amazing line “I never blow jobs without a ‘please’ first.” 
• I’M sorry, but we’re supposed to believe an attractive blonde would let Red, with his sharpened teeth and weird leather pants that are weirdly baggy, get all up in her business, lady and otherwise?
• I’m digging Wynonna’s WWE-esque moves. It’s like when Buffy did the hurrican-rana (on Spike, I think?).
• Is poking Dolls with the gun really the best idea, Wy?
• Why must this show talk about tacos so much? Oh, I do love tacos…for they are tasty. *answers 39 tweets from Earpers wanting to make sure I’m okay*
• Killer Miller really didn’t give that security guard very long to pick a target.
• Of course the city next to Purgatory is marked on the map as…The Big City…made even more poignant by Waverly staring at it wistfully. Do you see it? Look harder.
• Oh, Red. When you need to discredit a woman, Revenant or not, you know to attack her morals. “A rabid case of nymphomania”? Really? Based on what? Ugh. Fucking patriarchy.
• Who in their right fucking minds would accept a poker game with Doc Holliday? Because even though we don’t technically know who he is, these bros presumably do.
• Where did he get money? Is that from Wyatt’s day, or did he run some sort of dry-cleaning service out of the underground spring in the well?
• When I first watched this, I thought Dolls referring to “the big city” was just a generalization. Didn’t realize that was its map name and all and should have been The Big City.
• “I’m telling you, none of these are going to work.” Also my words and my face when my friends would talk about cute boys.
• That really does sound like something Eleanor Roosevelt would have done.
• Flamethrower isn’t until later in the season, Wy. And spoiler alert — you don’t get to use it. Sorry.
• I think I said this in a later recap, but I think it’s odd that Wy’s grandfather Edwin didn’t have a W name.
• Wynonna’s joy at firing all of the different guns is so…amazing. One of the few times you see her genuinely happy for a few seconds with none of the weight of the curse, her dad and Willa, etc., hanging over her.
• I really thought hot-dog-stuffed crust pizza was years and years ago, but it was in 2015! That’s crazy!
• Does Dolls just travel with a picture of Valdita, NM, in his pocket or…
• Oh, Kate McKinnon’s Justin Bieber Champ, you are super cheerful for someone who tried to fuck your girlfriend’s sister and are now in the presence of both of them. Oh, to have the confidence and self-assurance of a mediocre straight white man.
• Seriously, Waverly, why did you forgive him so quickly?
• Looks like the sun is helping the stache become the stache we all knew it could be. #StacheGoals
• Who are these women hanging with the Revenants? Are they also Revenants or just ladies who dig demons? I mean, whatever makes you happy. Just asking. I guess they’re probably the “human familiars” referenced later, but I just don’t get it. I supposed I was never one for the “bad boy,” though, so maybe I’m not the best judge.
• Also, these ladies are wearing like tank tops and shorts, and Doc is in a shirt, tie, vest, jacket, and hat…plus pants.
• And Bobo is wearing his Gaga jacket! What the fuck is with the weather in Purgatory? Do demons and immortals just run cold?!
• Did Doc have his guns in the well? I wonder if it ever crossed his mind to kill himself. If he did have them, it really speaks to how strong (and stubborn) of a person he is.
• Doc says it’s only a matter of time before they figure out who he is (Doc) and what he did to Wyatt. He became immortal and took up with a lady of the evening instead of joining him in Purgatory. That’s it, right?
• There are four motorcycles outside of Shorty’s, but the only people there are Wynonna, Waverly, and Gus. Where’s everyone else?
• Frida Kahlo indeed…
• Why are they eating at Shorty’s and not at Gus’?
• Okay, wow. There’s a lot to unpack here with Waverly’s drawing. Little Waves can spell “Wynonna” but not “Willa.” Everyone is happy but her. I…guess she liked rainbows. 
• I LOVE GUS’ ELECTRIC KNIFE. True story — I procured an electric knife for my Gus cosplay.
• MELANIE. SCROFANO’S. FACE.
• Waverly’s entrance may have been one of the best of all time, but Nicole Haught’s opening line? That’s also one for the history books. Queer, attractive in a way that wasn’t as…pretty as most lesbians on TV (not that Nicole/Kat isn’t pretty, but hopefully you know what I mean), confident without being predatory, and also dorkily awkward, my life changed for the better when Nicole Haught walked into it.
• OMG, THEY BOTH CHECK EACH OTHER OUT SO SUBTLY.
• The Earp sisters are very important to me, but WayHaught is an important relationship in its own right, obviously. It’s really unlike anything we’ve seen on TV, and I think Emily Andras and company really captured it perfectly.
• This scene is so dorky, but also so adorable and amazing.
• Waverly, the people-pleaser, is going to deny AN OFFICER OF THE LAW a cappuccino just because they’re “not open yet”? I call shenanigans.
• Heart eyes for days, bitches. Did she ever look at Champ that way?
• And when Waverly shoots her down (I mean, kind of, with that “boy man” garbage), Nicole’s like, “Okay, cool.” She’s not pining, at least not openly. She doesn’t try and force it. She asks out the pretty girl and then is fine when it doesn’t happen. Nicole Haught is adult queer lady goals.
• Welcome to the newest graduate of the Lena Luthor School of “How to Look at Women Platonically.”
• So what you’re saying is you expect me to believe there are at least 20 streets in Purgatory.
• Dolls is not great at making friends.
• THERE’S THE STACHE WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE.
• Waverly Earpsplaining Doc Holliday about Wyatt is spectacular.
• Why does Waverly pull back on admitting she’s an Earp? Everyone in town knows who she is! I guess as a precaution. Ugh. Fine.
• So to pay for Doc’s drink, Waverly pulls money out of her pocket, says it’s out of her tips, and then…drops it in the tip jar?
• I do love Waverly and Doc’s relationship.
• Doc doesn’t consider himself a good man, but over the course of the two seasons, we see, just like Wynonna, that he is wrong about himself. They both think they’re these awful people, but they’re brave, honest, hard-working characters who try to do their best with the poor hand they’ve been dealt.
• “I have my toys; you have yours.”
• Wynonna dropping the gun while she says “which only I can handle” just makes you fall in love with Wynonna a little bit more. She’s a heroine for all of us.
• Dolls was such a dick to Nicole.
• Oh, Dolls. You and your implied treason.
• Levi seems more human than a lot of the Revenants. Does this mean he made fewer trips to Hell than the others?
• Bobo says Peacemaker can’t be touched by Revenant hands, but…he can touch Peacemaker. Is it because Peacemaker knew him? Obviously the regular rules don’t apply to Bobo.
• Much like we see at Nicole’s house, I’m pretty sure that Waverly’s apartment is filled with things from IKEA. Hard to believe they didn’t run into each other there, as I assume it’s located in The Big City.
• Head canon — IKEA is where Nicole first spotted Waverly, where she keeps seeing her in the store but is hesitant to approach. Then she sees her in Purgatory and tells herself this is her chance. The next day, she enters Shorty’s.
• Where did Doc get that hoodie?
• And his jacket and I think pants have pockets, so…why did he have to put the book in the front of his pants?
• “But my yoga mat is there.”
• Mama Earp made the ammolite wind chimes, which is interesting. So she was all in on the curse, as well as the cult.
• The Homestead sure does suddenly look better.
• Seriously, what is with this weather? Dolls is in pants, t-shirt, jacket. Wynonna and Waverly are in tank tops, with Waves in her shorts.
• Everything Wynonna says about their mother has a different weight now that we know she’s alive…and that we know Wynonna knows she’s alive.
• Shouldn’t they have explained the rules for Killer Miller before Doc gave the blood sacrifice?
• Even the Revenants love Waverly.
• Wynonna’s constant badgering of Champ and the fact that her sister is dating him is really good sister business.
• Good thing Waves has that flashlight…when it’s light out.
• The talisman on the Homestead was bound by iron twine. Wonder if the Iron Witch had anything to do with that…or if everyone is Purgatory is just anemic.
• The Earp sisters are very important to me.
• I definitely have the pants Wynonna is wearing. It was originally part of my lesbian lumberjack cosplay, but now there’s a Wy I can cosplay!
• WYNONNA, STOP PUTTING YOUR SISTER IN THE CLOSET.
• I also love when Waves says shit ticket. And when she has one of her many shotguns.
• Bobo said “it had to be an Earp” and that’s why Waverly had to bury the talisman.  I know, I know. Bobo is not known for his honesty But…maybe when she was a child, he genuinely believed she was an Earp and came to know through Willa that she wasn’t?
• Wait. Is Waverly digging with a…TIRE IRON?!
• And there’s nervous Levi, just holding his axe. Like you do. Doing his best “Xander as Dracula’s minion” impression.
• Totally a tire iron. I guess it’s because the shovel is at the bottom of Doc’s well.
• Loved Wynonna threatening Levi with her slippers on. Really subtle ways of showing the audience how original our heroine is.
• “You’re just a girl.” “I am THE girl.” Yeah, you are. You’re the goddamn Earp heir!
• I just love how much fun Waverly is having. Part of the investigation. Hanging with her sister and Fancy Pants Agent Man. And not to mention, Killer Miller was after HER and not Wynonna. Oh, and she made a new gal pal today. Everything’s coming up Waverly.
• I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW.
• The sisters are just so happy, guys. Making the homestead an actual home. It’s what they’ve always deserved.
• Wynonna’s impression of Doc saying “defiled by hooligans” is one of my favorites.
• IN YOUR EYES
• And we have episode two ending the same way episode one did with the sisters — by objectifying one of the men. Nice. I’m here for it.
• We never see Doc wear these jeans again, right? Because they’re terrible. I wish I could enter this show and tell Champ they were made of gluten so he wouldn’t wear them anymore.
• It seemed like Waverly didn’t blame Wynonna for what happened to Willa and Ward, but here she admits that she did…but I still say not in the same way Wynonna did. And it turns out, it was Waverly’s fault all along. DAMN YOU, WAVERLY. IS NOTHING SACRED.
• “I like the hat and the shirt, and you’ve definitely got the swagger, but the jeans have got. to. go. 
• So, Bobo’s just chilling in his coat and his pants, no shirt?
• Interesting that Bobo’s Revenant brand shows on his back and not on his face.
• Asking Levi to bring you Wynonna’s head is a bit like asking Draco Malfoy to kill Albus Dumbledore. I mean, sure..technically they probably could do it, but…are they really the best man for the job?
• “Boys, I need to make a dramatic speech, and I just need to be shirtless while I do it. I saw it on Buffy, and it really made me take the character of Angel more seriously, especially when he did his tai chi.”
• Doc is a good man, but the lengths he’s willing to go to for revenge are great. He has reservations about torturing Levi, but he really just can’t see past the chance for revenge that Bobo is offering him.

Monica’s Final Thoughts:

When I watched this the first time, I remember loving this episode, but when I watch it within the framework of all of the other episodes, I’m not as big of a fan. It felt like there was a lot more plot as opposed to character development, and I’m here for the characters. It was still good and I love watching it, but there’s still a lot of exposition to lay the foundation for.

Shameless plug:

Don’t forget that Michelle, BP, and I have started recording a Wynonna Earp podcast. We are breaking down each episode and are doing some minisodes in which we talk about an individual subject, and we hope to have a new podcast available each week. This week’s is about Doc Holliday! If you haven’t already, please follow us over on the Twitter at @Earpsplainpod. I myself am having a really great time recording this. These two ladies are lovely people who I genuinely enjoy talking to, and their love of TV matches my own — a rare thing.

You can find it at Libsyn, or on iTunes or Google Play. 

Postscript 

Chris and I celebrated our second anniversary this week, and we are headed on vacation to Reykjavik and Amsterdam this weekend. I’m hoping to blog a bit each day to at least post some pictures, so if traveling is your jam, be sure to check in. And who knows — perhaps Traveling Wynonna will make an appearance!