Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

October 11, 2017lesbiyinzer 2 Comments

I am 40 years old.

I am married (for almost two years) to a lovely woman who I’ve had a crush on for almost half of my life.

I live in a world where my sexual orientation is a boring statement of fact that isn’t really a thing…or at least I think it is, until someone makes it otherwise.

I started coming out gradually, at 19, first between wrenching sobs to my freshman-year RA, saying that I might be gay. She was the first I told about these swirling, confusing feelings that were only amplified by the roommate (let’s call her N) I had fallen for. I stared at a bottle of Advil, wondering if taking the entire bottle would be enough to put me out of my misery, and I found the strength to put it down, knock on Jen’s door, and just…come out with it.

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The Eve of the Big Day

August 31, 2016lesbiyinzer 1 Comment

I know, I know. I’m moving in reverse. I know I live-blogged about the day before our wedding, but I left out a lot of stuff, like about the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.

Oh, and — as Chris just reminded me — how our sink exploded that morning.

Okay, I’m being dramatic. There was a leak and a bit of a mess, right before we were leaving to begin our prep day. We looked at each other and realized there really wasn’t much of anything we could do at that point other than clean it up, have minimal use of the sink, ask our friends who were checking on Graham to make sure nothing fell apart, and hope for the best.

(Nothing fell apart, and all is well.)

We got our nails done, did a bunch of prep with some friends and family, and then went upstairs to get ready for our rehearsal and also some cookie dropoff.

(Guys, our cookie table was epic, and that isn’t an exaggeration, but you’ll have to wait to see that for yourselves in a post or two).

Sister-in-Law Amy demonstrating how to sit down or something, I guess.

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The Big Day, part 1

August 27, 2016lesbiyinzer 1 Comment

I don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but I did get married last October.

This is how I felt about it.

It was the best day of my life. Not an exaggeration. I wish I could have bottled up the feeling and sipped on it slowly when stress and doubt and other generic badness entered my life in the weeks and months after.

I live-blogged the day before the wedding, and it the room and person prep we did on our wedding eve. It’s fun to go back and read about the day that I didn’t know what Oxford heels were.

Like I said, our wedding was amazing. It was beautiful, touching, meaningful, amazing, and all sorts of other positive adjectives. The road leading up to it had a few bumps in it, though. I’ll mention a few of them briefly, and then I’ll get to the good stuff.

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Wedding Eve — Live Blog

October 23, 2015lesbiyinzer 3 Comments

7:43am — alarms were set for 8/8:30, but excitement and nerves woke us up before 7:00. I checked FSIL Amy’s flight and saw that it was delayed, so I texted with her a bit. A broken toilet has delayed her flight, which is one of the signs of a lucky pre-wedding day, right?

7:46am — number of shits Graham gives that his mothers are getting married — zero.

Whatever. Fill up my bowl.

7:50am — it’s really hard to believe that the phrase “we are getting married tomorrow” is a thing I can say.

9:25am — breakfast has been eaten. Chris is doing dishes, and I started packing because “maybe it’s best if we do it separately.” I tried to give her a hug, and she demanded that I go pack my toiletry bag instead.

9:54am — toiletry bag packed. I used my dad’s old LL Bean one, so there’s a nice thought of him with me all weekend.

10:28am — FSIL left a comment on Facebook that she wonders what will happen next. We are running around like crazy people and getting our stuff ready to leave, that’s what. Good sign — no fighting. No serious tears. When one of us freaks out, the other calms down. Teamwork. I’m so lucky.

10:40am — I’ve been dispatched to locate Oxford heels.

10:41am — I realize I do not know what Oxford heels are.

10:42am — I am happy to report I am very good at guessing.

11:49am — at the nail salon! A woman is doing needlepoint, which is fun.

11:57am — the Dremel has just been brought out.

Aubrey and I in the customary hand-holding position of the pedicure.

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Pre-wedding bullet points

October 22, 2015lesbiyinzer 1 Comment

So, I’ve been awful (just autocorrected to “awesome” — nope) at blogging. In my defense, I’m getting married in two (!) days, so we have been a bit busy.

Hanging on Mt. Washington, killing time until nighttime parking rates take effect.

So here are some random musings.

A lot of people have asked me if I’m nervous, and one asked if I wished I had eloped. I’m nervous about getting everything done and weather and everyone getting there and such, but not about marrying Chris. So anxiety about the wedding but not about the marriage. And really not that much about the wedding — not enough that I wished I had eloped. Not even close.
We are doing a lot of crafty DIY projects for the decorations, and it’s been time consuming. At the beginning, I thought it was silly, but now, man, I can see how great everything will be.
Why would we plan a wedding at our busiest time at work?! It’s been difficult to get any free time.
I am so excited to get and be married! I really am. I guess when you wait 38 years, you really have waited for the right one to come along.
I had to buy two pairs of pants for my suit because who knows which will fit by the time Sunday rolls around. So today is a big pants trying-on day. I know. The whirlwind of fun never stops.

Thanks for telling me about this app, Nate!

Time to get moving. Lots to do!

Happy my wedding week! Two days and counting!

What Do August Showers Bring?

September 9, 2015lesbiyinzer 3 Comments

Awesomeness, that’s what.

And super-hot ladies, my friends.

The picture above is from our family shower, thrown by FSIL Amy and Chris’ mom and aunts. It was at a local restaurant, and it was filled with our family and family friends.

I loved Chris’ dress at this one. She looked so pretty! My mom helped me pick out my outfit, which is why I look fancier than usual. The only sad part of the whole day was that she wasn’t able to make it. She had a compression fracture in her spine, probably from wrestling a bear or something. But my brother recorded all of the present opening, and they took her a meal to go. We visited the next day, which was nice.

Mom is feeling much better now, still improving. Sad that she wasn’t at the shower, but happy that this means she will be at full power at the wedding.
A few weeks later, our wonderful friends threw us a shower! It was at the Wigle Whiskey barrel house, so the location and the drinks were excellent.

And the company, of course.

Chronica knows how to party.

Aubrey, Heather, Michelle, and Beth threw us a lovely shower. It really was a lesson in Pinteresting. The took the travel theme and ran with it. So lovely!

Both were awesome and lovely and special and perfect. Chris and I are so, so lucky.