Wynonna Earp 2×12, AKA the One Where Everyone Made us Laugh, Broke All of Our Hearts, and Said “Vagina” a Lot

Hello, friends. What an amazing finale. I’ve seen a lot of TV, and that was one of the best. Amazeballs. The opposite of a shit strumpet. This finale also good.

Before I get into it, I wanted to talk a little bit about why this Wynonna Earp viewing was so special for me. @BridgetOnTV@nedleysoffice, and @HiDizzle20 all came to my house to watch. The second two were there for dinner, and obviously I served them the most divisive food in the Earper community, mushrooms. My wife made doughnuts for us to enjoy, and I whipped up some mocktails I called Boobs McSeltzers.

Special shout-out to my Earper-adjacent wife, Chris, for being such an accommodating and gracious co-host and making such delicious food. She is the best.

Watching with them was super fun but also a little surreal. I joked that it was like Bridget gets a full-length live reaction video, because even though she was mostly watching the episode and tweeting her gifs (that we all had to get off of wifi for because she’s such a diva), she was watching our reactions a little bit. After the episode, Bridget called in to Whiskey and Doughnuts, and before I knew it, we were on with the cast, which was a super-cool and kind-of-surreal experience. And sorry, Melanie — I know you asked for a house tour, but maybe next time. Cool?

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Wynonna Earp 2×11, AKA the One Where Everyone Forgot Wynonna, Good People Died(?), and WayHaught Love Each Other In All Timelines

Hello, friends! Happy finale week! I have to tell you, it’s been a busy few days for me. I like to start these recaps on Saturday, and it’s Monday night. No time to waste! I LOVED this episode — if “Tabula Rasa” and “The Wish” had a baby, it would be this delicious little morsel. I love episodes like this — where everyone is mostly themselves, but just a little bit…off. Or, even better, when they’re not themselves at all — I’m looking at you, Lost Girl‘s “Original Skin.” Damn it, Monica. Stop rambling! Put down your pickle, blow out your prayer candles for Doc, Dolls, Rosita, and Nedley, and let’s go!

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Nicole got bitten by a Widow, and Waves didn’t trust Wynonna to save her, so she made a really bad deal. Doc and Wynonna vanish, and then everyone seems to forget who Wynonna was. That seems like it could be problematic!

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness: Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 2×10, AKA the One Where Nicole Vaulted a Couch and Has a Wife, Waverly Makes a Bad Deal with a Witch, and Wynonna — Wait, Who’s Wynonna?

Hello, friends, and welcome to this week’s Unnecessarily Long Recap. Of course, these days it’s maybe reasonably long and not actually a recap, but I named it this two months ago, and now I’m stuck with it, so…

Anyway, jump over your couch and have a seat, because this week’s episode was a doozy!

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness: Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 2×09, AKA the One with Multiple Dolls…es, a Hot Tub, and the Most Awkward Dinner Party Ever

I hope to someday get back to my full Unnecessarily Long Recaps, but I think that will be in between seasons. So yay — something for all of us to look forward to! For now, I hope you enjoy these extended Random Thoughts of Randomness and other assorted things.

Guys. GUYS. I’m not gonna lie, this episode gave me a lot of feelings. I technically watch alone (my wife is usually here, but she doesn’t watch the show), so my reactions are usually pretty tame with no one to interact with, other than on Twitter. But this week, I shouted at the TV a few times, AND I threw my phone. Twice. So grab your champagne and your mac and cheese, practice with your sexy fighting sticks, and don’t forget to shoot your creepy doll in the face. Let’s go!

Oh, one other thing — don’t forget to grab your compassion, and while you’re at it, make sure you have some understanding that people are beautiful and terrible and flawed and amazing. People make mistakes and do stupid things, and they shouldn’t necessarily be persecuted for one tiny thing they did in the context of their entire life. So if you’re reading this and expect the phrase “I can’t believe Waverly cheated on Nicole,” well, you’re in the wrong place. I recommend finding another recap, because this one will just make you mad.

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness: Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 2×08, AKA the One Where Wynonna Stepped in the Tardis and Nicole Just Stepped In It

Hello, friends! Apologies for the unexpected hiatus, and I’m afraid that the recap won’t be the same as usual. Real life has intervened, and I’m a bit short on time this week once again. But I do have a lot of thoughts, and I’d like to get some of them down. It won’t be the Unnecessarily Long Recap you’ve all grown to love tolerate, but I do have some observations, some screen shots, and a crazy theory or two. Let’s jump in!

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • I got into a nature-vs.-nurture discussion argument with @NedleysOffice on Twitter this week. I say Willa is a product of her environment and not just a straight-up sociopath; Office disagrees. But I have to tell you, Willa trying to kill Waves by having her fall through the ice does not exactly support my argument.
  • Who names a baby “Welcome”?
  • Widow!Mercedes is so freaking amazing.
  • Widow!Beth attacking Juan Carlo reminded me of the Leviathans on Supernatural. Then I remembered how they [spoiler alert] treat all of their female characters like 13th-class citizens, especially my dear, dear Charlie, and then I was super happy that shows like Wynonna Earp exist. Also, Juan Carlo reminds me of Bobby. Ahem. Back to it!
  • Rosie and Doc are super cute together. However, to be honest, I think they would be super cute with anyone, because holy shit, they are both so attractive. Daaamn.
  • Also, do any of the women of Purgatory dress appropriately to the weather?rosie
  • I love that Rosita, Doc, and Wynonna are all adults about this situation. It’s refreshing. No unnecessary drama.
  • Naps are my bitch, too, Wynonna.
  • Wynonna’s doctor was so freaking amazing. In both episodes we have seen her in so far. Non-judgmental, comforting, supportive, funny. Just wish I could find a doctor like that. I mean, not a baby doctor. I haven’t seen any angels in my dreams lately. We’re cool.
  • I’m with you, Nedley. Willie Nelson is a national treasure.
  • No way Waverly is that bad at pool. She practically grew up at Shorty’s. I call shenanigans.
  • Also, where’s that scar that chicks dig? And can we get some love for Nicole’s Pink Ladies jacket?pool
  • Nicole, you really can’t lie to your girlfriend at all.
  • I love Nicole’s unwavering disgust for Bobo.
  • I could really go for some nachos and tequila right now. Did I mention I’m in day 2 of 30 days of clean eating? I want all of the food. It’s fine. I’m fine.
  • I watched this episode at a friend’s house, and she was like, “Oh, Brendan Fehr!” I was like, “That is the least-exciting part of the episode for me, but I like that you’re engaged!”
  • You know what line I loved? “Neutral men are the devil’s allies.” I feel like that…really has a lot of relevance in our world today. Apparently Dolls likes to quote Edwin Hubbel Chapin.
  • “The Earp sisters will be reunited before sundown.” So…Willa, right? We’ll see Willa soon? I hope so. Sociopath or not, such a great character!
  • Hmm. Wonder what last time’s gross doctor’s-office story was.
  • “Holy pioneer balls” indeed, Wynonna.
  • I feel like that’s how I might react if I realized I was in a vision quest.
  • I love how she tells the baby to calm down. Such a great moment.
  • Crazy that Bobo’s hair gets better after he comes back from Hell. That’s a pretty neat trick.
  • Time really changes a man. Years in Hell made Bobo a bad dude. Years in a well made Doc a gentle, open-minded, caring soul. So I guess when given the choice between well and Hell, choose well. Both will give you great hair.
  • I guess Bobo’s always been a snazzy dresser.church
  • Loved that Juan Carlo punched a Widow. Solid choice.
  • Where can I get a piñata filled with doughnuts?!! (Day 2, guys.)
  • Nicole, always the voice of reason. Her talking about feeling like an outsider was so on brand with her character, and of course she wants everyone to get along, including Boobs McSeltzer and her boyfriend’s baby mama.
  • “She needs to see the past if we have any hope for the future” seems like the tagline to a summer blockbuster about a psychic time-traveler who’s leading a plucky band of misfits against an orange-skinned villain.
  • I love that the show is answering so many questions about the backstory. Proof that if you invest time in a show that loves you back, it’s worth it. I was especially impressed with Bobo’s backstory. Repeating “I am a good man” — heartbreaking.
  • I wonder if we’re gonna see good, old demon Sheriff Clootie in the next four weeks.
  • Dolls hates the woods! And it seems like he’s not a huge fan of the Widows, either.
  • I’m sorry, but the least-believable part in this episode was Nicole’s purse. She is not the kind of lesbian who would carry a giant purse like that. She’s either a “stuff it in your pockets” gal, or maybe a backpack or messenger bag on a special occasion, like a Pride fest or a softball game.
  • Oh, hey, while we’re on the subject of Nicole…oh, my goodness. I get it. Sometimes you do really stupid shit because you think you’re protecting the woman you love, but in reality, you’re treating them like a child. It’s completely understandable, sure, but…such a mistake. Such a mistake. You’re not Champ, Nicole. You are in a grown-up relationship, and you take care of each other — it’s not one-sided. And dropping the “I love you” feels desperate, though there’s no doubt in my mind she means it.
  • That being said…let’s not be too quick to judge, Waverly. You kept the fact that you fought a demon that was possessing you for SEVEN WEEKS to yourself. So, you know, let’s all just admit that love makes you do the wacky and have some of that make-up sex you think is so great.
  • I just hope that Nicole heard Waverly loud and clear. She needs a partner, not a mother. Someone to be there with her through hard times, not someone who tries to make decisions for her. Stand up and be the woman and girlfriend we know you can be, Nicole. Be the partner Waverly deserves.
  • Sorry. I have a lot of feelings.
  • Ever wonder what sadness looks like? It’s this. This is sadness.nic
  • If I had more time, I would do a whole photo collage devoted to Kat Barrell’s face in this episode.
  • Who carries a spool of thread on their person?
  • I think Bobo took even longer to die than Laura Hollis did.
  • That scene with Bobo and Wynonna, where she tells him she’s Waverly and he worries about what he’ll become — sheer genius and perfection. All of the feelings.
  • And all of the mind-fuck. Which actions caused which? How could he think Waverly is his angel before Wynonna traveled back in time to tell him that? Oh, time-travel. You’re such a tricky shit ticket.
  • Wynonna being dead for 77 seconds, huh? The exact number of revenants? Well, that must definitely be a coincidence.
  • Well, I’m sure Wynonna saying she and Dolls will never be enemies is definitely not foreshadowing.

Monica’s Insane Theory:

What if Waverly’s parentage is a red herring?  Maybe she’s an Earp; maybe she’s just the product of an affair. What if it doesn’t matter? What if NICOLE is the half revenant/half human that Jonas spoke about last week? Remember how Jack said she was “the wrong kind”? And maybe she was just drawn to Purgatory….or Nedley has known all along and recruited her. He’s no small-town idiot cop. I think he’s been playing the long game, well, for a long time, especially since he seems to be pretty familiar with Juan Carlo. Maybe he replaced that awful Sheriff Clootie years and years ago and he’s been kicking it since, Mayor Wilkins style. And it was time to bring in half-Revenant Nicole Haught to town to fight the big bad.

Thanks for joining me, friends. Sorry it wasn’t one of my “traditional” recaps, but I still hope you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it! See you next time!

Wynonna Earp 2×06, AKA the One Where Everyone Took a Giant Nap and Then Were All In

Hello, Earpers! Emily Andras and company really took us on a ride this week, didn’t they? In what was an amazing first solo script from Caitlyn Fryers, this episode made me laugh, cry, internally scream, internally gay scream, and everything in between (and around). Seriously, after it was over, I turned to my wife (who doesn’t watch the show and was instead listening to music and crocheting) and said, “This is one of the best episodes of TV I have ever seen.” So grab some Beaver Buzz, find you a hot mixologist for snuggling, and wrap yourself in a bonus blanket to protect you from the feels. Let’s go!

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Doc and Rosie held hands, Tucker is a creeptastic weirdo, the Scoobies defeated the tentacle goo, freeing both Earp sisters from possession, Black Badge is gone, and Wynonna has gone forth and multiplied.

NotArt Moody and Dolls happen upon each other in an alley, and Moody vaguely threatens Dolls, at which point backup, Doc, shows up. They all pretend to be friends, and Moody tells them that Black Badge has cut the Scoobies loose, per the Powers that Be. Moody tells Dolls he should up and leave as well if he wants to live, but Dolls won’t leave until he finishes his mission. In a move that proves he’s not a complete douche canoe, Moody hands over some info on a beastie that Doc let loose with his dynamite — one of The Widows. Dolls asks Moody how a government agency can just disappear, and Moody tells him what we’ve all slowly started to realize — Black Badge isn’t a government agency, and never was.

doc

Guess how I feel about the government and its agencies.

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Wynonna Earp 2×05, AKA the One Where the Goo Jumps Between Earps, Nicole is the Best Girlfriend Ever, Doc Gets a New Car, Dolls and Lucado Fight, and Also That Reveal With Wynonna

Wow, these titles are getting longer and longer.

Hello, Earpers! Welcome to another Unnecessarily Long recap. Evelyn Andrews teased a big reveal, and holy shit, she wasn’t kidding. It was a game-changing episode, both for the series and for a new standard by which to hold show runners, networks, and their actors. Seriously, that reveal at the end said as much about Wynonna Earp the story as it did Wynonna Earp the show. Grab some soup and a peanut butter chaser; if you’re tied to a chair, get comfy; and whatever you do, DON’T TOUCH THE GOO.

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Edwin Earp’s plate was stolen from a Black Badge operative, but don’t worry — his family got it back; Waverly had her hand cut off , but don’t worry — Gooverly grew it back; Dolls is a dragon; and Wynonna is now the Keeper of the Goo…and creepy AF.

We open on a cross between Buffy’s demon-lizard (patriarchial) frat boys and the Initiative chanting in the general direction of a businessman who is actually a busigooman, and they promptly cut off his head. There’s “only one” left to cleanse from the world, which sounds pretty good. Their leader, unfazed by the head he’s just dropped, asks if anyone else wants to go for nachos.

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Let’s just maybe hold off on the salsa? Or go salsa verde. No reason.

At the Homestead, Goononna is mixing up a special smoothie bloody Mary for Waverly with all of the basic food groups — home fries, bacon, and a rat. Interestingly, it looked like she cooked the bacon first, though the rat was raw.

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She’s still lovely, but this smile is so…chilling.

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