Wynonna Earp Recap — Heaven Is a Place on Earth

Hello, friends, and welcome to my recap of the season-four finale (and possible series finale) of Wynonna Earp. What a long, strange trip it’s been.

Deep breath.

I don’t think I’ll ever accurately be able to write what this show and the people associated with it have come to mean to me, although I’m sure I’ll make a bumbling attempt to do this very thing at the end of this recap, but I will say that this finale is possibly the most perfect thing to ever exist in the world of television. This was a shit year, and we all deserve a little bit of happiness. I think Emily Andras knew that and gave every single character — even the one that I thought couldn’t have a happily ever after — a satisfying, happy ending. It didn’t feel rushed or cheesy or quaint or silly; it just felt perfect. And also, what the fuck was Charlotte Sullivan doing?

But I digress.

So once more into the breach, my lads. Grab your Costco-sized box of tissues, get out your magnifying glass to try to see where I’ll put in a Willa reference, and make sure your tires don’t have any bullet holes in them, because here we go.

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Dark Waverly was in a crisis, Jeremy and Robin aren’t together on account of his non-functional memory, Doc is human and wants a fresh start, Nicole invited Waverly to buy her a cup of coffee with all of the swagger in the world, and if they ever go get that coffee, it better be local, because Nicole is the angel’s shield and can’t leave the Ghost River Triangle. Oh, and instead of coffee, they decide to get married instead.

We open on a wedding gone wrong in 1968 Purgatory. A trail of bloodied corpses lays behind a blood-stained bride in a dress with an inlaid blue heart, and said bride stumbles outside and axes herself in the throat after burying the blade in her groom’s head. The church bells ring as bodies lay on the ground. See? Avoid the church and maybe you would have been okay. That’s my takeaway. Sorry, Mom.

At the Homestead, Waverly’s wedding dress has arrived. She takes it out the box and holds it up, she and Wynonna squeal with joy because baby girl’s getting married! Oh, what’s that — the dress has an inlaid blue heart? Son of a — If I have to watch Waverly butcher her family with the Earp spoon, I’m going to need to speak with the manager.

Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Wynonna and Nicole are readying the Homestead for a wedding. Sister-zilla is freaking out because the cake is covered with a non-vegan buttercream, and Nicole suggests they just don’t tell Waverly. HaughtPants gets it — there’s no need to stress about having the perfect day, because none of them really have a perfect vibe going on anyway. They’re doing the best they can with a Homestead wedding; no need to panic. Waverly joins them, high on wedding bliss, and Wynonna pops her metaphorical balloon by telling her that her betrothed wanted to break her vegan vow by basically serving her a Big Mac. But Waverly, always the planner, made vegan cupcakes yesterday. CRISIS averted!

They say in Heaven, love comes first
We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth

Inside, Rachel and Nedley are planning a fishing trip, and this may be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. He’s just happy to be going with someone who’s likelier to catch something that isn’t mono (hashtag Sorry, Chrissy). Rachel just seems so excited to do something…normal. I love this for her. She deserves a boring, normal fishing trip with a pseudo dad.

Wynonna is carving something in the barn and she notices Waverly’s wedding dress blowing in the breeze. She says it’s beautiful and wonders what it would be like to wear it, and those of us who have seen Friends know where this is going.

Wynonna is running to Doc, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. She’s covered up with a long coat, hiding what she’s wearing, and breaks the door, wilts the flowers, catches the arbor on fire, blows up the cake, and somehow ejects the wagon wheels from their axle. 

She knocks on Doc’s trailer door and shows him her predicament of the sticky dress. Well, if there’s one thing Doc’s always been good at, it’s getting her out of her clothes, and I’m sure the whiskey he pours them will help even more. She sees a pad of paper and asks if he’s having writer’s block for his speech, and he turns it over and explains that sometimes it’s hard to find what you want to say. 

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Doc gently spins Wynonna around, looking for an entry point in the dress. He offers to cut at the seam and then sew it right back up, explaining that some of his clothes are 150 years old so some seamstressing comes with his territory. But bad news — he can’t cut the seam, and they’re interrupted from a hypothetical Plan B by Waverly in her Jeep.

When the night falls down
I wait for you, and you come around

Wynonna hides as Waverly gifts Doc with a saddle — Wyatt Earp’s saddle, to be precise. She wanted to have the perfect present before she asked Doc to be her best man. Doc is surprised — he assumed Wynonna would be her witness, but Wynonna is choosing to fulfill her best-friend duties and be there for Nicole instead of standing up for her sister. Doc can’t believe that Waverly is asking him, but he doesn’t let that stand in the way of him saying yes. 

And the world’s alive
With the sound of kids on the street outside

As Waverly’s walking to her Jeep, Wynonna tells Doc to find out where she got the wedding dress, and it’s from a little shop down on Hogback road. She calls it quaint, but Wynonna doesn’t think too much of Cursey’s Vintage, at least from the outside. They walk past the sign, and it breaks, yet another thing destroyed in Wynonna’s path.

On the inside, it’s an…eclectic shop, with lots of wedding dresses on mannequins and all the mirrors covered up, which I would think would be detrimental for a clothing shop but what do I know? Wynonna leans on one of the mannequins and said mannequin responds by shouting “boop,” shocking Wynonna and delighting the audience, because that weird-ass mannequin is actually named Brigitte and is played by none other than the boss’ favorite, Charlotte Sullivan.

When you walk into the room
You pull me close, and we start to move

She is a breathy-voiced, olden-timey flapper-type, interrogating Wynonna and Doc about what their story is. Before they can get too much info out, she tells Doc that nobody cares but calls Wynonna “the perfect mark,” which does not go over well. Wynonna threatens to have Doc shoot the cashier, but it doesn’t matter if she’s dead or not; cursed dresses gonna cursed dress. Wynonna asks for just the facts, and Brigitte starts to sing. By the time the wedding bells chime (not literally), everyone will be dead by the dress wearer’s hand. Wynonna threatens with Peacemaker, and Brigitte-train says that only a silkworm can undo its own thread. So WynDoc are off to find a Bombyx mori. 

And we’re spinnin’ with the stars above
And you lift me up in a wave of love

At the Homestead, Jeremy’s sampling a mouthful of icing when Waverly finds him and Nicole and tells them about the destruction. They try to figure out what happened, and Jeremy thinks he knows — the caterer, a handsome man named Damon, which seems a little too on the demon horn. He tries to shake Damon down for info but ends up just seeming super homophobic and threatening to out him as gay. 

What? What?

In the barn, HeatWave finds the destruction and the missing dress and immediately realizes the dress (that Waverly didn’t even like) is haunted. 

Doc and Wynonna have found themselves a swimmin’ hole and he belly-flops in, looking for silkworms. There are none, obviously, because this is a shitty mudhole in Purgatory. The only thing he could possibly catch is syphilis.

Doc came up empty-handed, but not Wynonna — she finds a letter in his pocket that he’d written to her, a letter saying goodbye. She can’t believe he was just going to take off and leave her with nothing but an absent child and a note, but the note was just a starting point for a discussion. He was never going to just leave, but it is time for him to go. The curse is broken, Amon and the fog are gone, and he’s human again. It’s time for him to see the world and make the most of his 183rd chance. But he doesn’t want to go alone — he wants Wynonna to leave the Ghost River Triangle and come with him and finally admit that she loves him. But that’s too real for Wynonna to deal with, and she insists she needs to paint some worms so they can deal with the singing boutique owner. 

Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Wynonna and Nicole have worked up a murderboard real quick, and there are a lot of weddings that end in bloodshed in Purgatory. It’s just that when most things end in bloodshed in your town, well, it’s hard to connect the dots on specifics sometimes. The bride kills the family, the groom, and then herself, all with the axe…and they’re all getting hitched in the same dress that Waverly got at her quaint little boutique. Lather, rinse, repeat.

They say in Heaven, love comes first
We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth

An old wedding announcement lists the gown as being from the same shop and person who sold Waverly the dress, Brigitte Hogback from Cursey’s Boutique. Seems that Brigitte was left at the altar and killed all of her guests. Nicole kinda gets it, though — if Waverly left her, she may even kill Nedley, which sounds very sweet to Waverly, and she walks over to her bride and they’re about to get absolutely exhausted in that barn. Grab some coconut oil, ladies.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

They’re interrupted again, of course, because there aren’t even any doors to lock this time, but at least Jeremy has better timing than Willa and walks in on them after they’ve finished. He tries to tell them about the demon caterer, Damon, but he definitely added two and two and got “demon” when he should have gotten “haunted wedding dress.” Now Jeremy is kicking himself and Waverly’s going to kick some ass, shotgun in hand. I do love our baby girl with a gun. 

When I feel alone
I reach for you, and you bring me home

Wynonna tries to pass off some nailpolish-painted worms as silkworks, but Brigitte knows her Bombycidae and calls out the fakes immediately. Doc tries to explain that, yes, they tried to cheat her, but that cup is representative of the kind of hero Wynonna is; the kind of person who would do anything to keep her family safe. It may be a cup of love, but love isn’t enough to stop Wynonna from killing everyone. Wynonna tells Brigitte that she will paint every worm she can find if it means Waverly has a blessed wedding, and she’s confused because isn’t the one wearing the dress the one who’s getting married?

When I’m lost at sea
I hear your voice, and it carries me

Speak of the angel — here comes Waverly, silk banner streaming behind her, and she wraps Brigitte up in it. Some silk, a reversal spell, and bingo, the haunted dress slips right off. Wynonna wants to shoot the demon, but Waverly stops her. After quickly explaining who’s getting married to whom and glossing over why the one in the dress isn’t one of the brides, she explains that Brigitte was left at the altar, heartbroken, and the killing just sort of happened. Waverly apologizes to her, because everyone deserves love. 

In this world, we’re just beginnin’
To understand the miracle of livin’

Back at the barn, Wynonna has rustled up Mama Earp’s dress, and Waverly thinks it’s perfect — or will be after a few modifications. Waverly can tell something’s on her sister’s mind, but Wynonna just insists it’s about the wedding.

Baby, I was afraid before
But I’m not afraid anymore

Nedley knocks on the door at the Homestead, and Nicole greets him in a lovely burgundy suit, looking absolutely gorgeous. He says he never knew a woman could look so good in a suit, and Nedley, I’m going to tag you in a few pictures later, because I have notes. Nicole nervously talks about barn sex, of course, and then gets to the one last thing she needed from him. She asks him to walk her down the aisle and stand by him, like he has been doing her entire life, and let me tell you, friends, this — this is where I lose it every single time.

Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Much like myself, Nicole is a strong woman who doesn’t need help down an aisle and who definitely doesn’t need the patriarchal bullshit archetype of being given away by a man. But also like me, she does like the symbolism of one last time, having that guy who’s been there your whole life standing by your side on your most important day. But unlike me, Nicole got to have her dad at her wedding; that’s the only thing I wish that I could change about my day. So, yeah, I never won’t cry at this scene.

Nedley walks Nicole down the aisle towards Jeremy, who’s waiting to marry the two lovebirds under the arbor Doc built. He kisses Nicole on the forehead and steps back, and Doc approaches the front as Waverly’s best man and shakes Nicole’s hand. She takes a deep breath and sees the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen in her life — Waverly Earp, smiling at her from the makeshift aisle, being escorted by her favorite sister.

They say in Heaven, love comes first
We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth

The look on her face is one of awe, as if she can’t believe this beautiful, perfect angel is about to marry her. Wynonna touches foreheads with her sister and tells her (accurately) that she’s the best of us, and then stands next to her best friend, Nicole. 

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Jeremy tells the crowd to be seated and Rachel and Nedley sit down, since they’re the only non-wedding parties there. And then we have a queer wedding performed by a gay man celebrating the love of two women who are going to spend the rest of their lives together. If you would have told me that this was in my television future, even just a few years ago, I would have laughed right in your face. Representation matters.

Heaven, Heaven, Heaven

Jeremy talks about how sometimes two elements, minding their own business, run into each other and become more than they were as individuals. I could probably write a thousand words on their vows alone, so in the interest of time, I’ll just say they pledge their love to one another for the rest of their lives, and it’s absolutely perfect. Wynonna can’t help but watch them and wonder if this is a happiness that she could have. Something normal and beautiful and solid. And it seems like Doc is thinking the same thing — he knows that’s what he wants, but he doesn’t know if Wynonna is brave enough to believe she deserves it.

In this world we’re just beginnin’
To understand the miracle of livin’

The camera pants to the chairs in the crowd — spaces saved for everyone they’ve loved over the years. Mama Earp, Mercedes, Julian, Robin, Chrissy, Perry, Dolls, and Gus — all gone, at least today, but never forgotten. 

And just like that, two become one.

Baby, I was afraid before
But I’m not afraid anymore

Wynonna pours champagne for everyone — juice for Rachel and Billy, of course — but before she can toast the brides, Rachel beats her to it. She tells her new found family that she had barely done anything in her life before she met them, but now? Now she feels like she can do anything. She didn’t know what to get the couple as a gift, so she serenades them with “Wildwood,” which you may remember from 1×09 and a couch. It’s beautiful and lovely and the best argument I’ve ever seen for having a band rather than a wedding DJ.

Heaven

Everyone just looks so happy.

Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Wynonna decides it’s time to make her best-woman toast for Nicole, her ginger-bitch best friend. “I’m so glad you finally found someone worthy of you,” she says, and neither of them look like they can believe she’s saying it.

They say in Heaven, love comes first
We’ll make Heaven a place on Earth

Rachel asks Nedley if Billy can come on their fishing trip, and just like that, Nedley has gone from retired sheriff to being the quasi-adoptive father of two wayward youths, not just one. Billy can come along, as long as he doesn’t pitch any tents in his pants. 

Doc hugs everyone goodbye; everyone but Wynonna. He looks back over his shoulder at Wynonna, dainty and delicate in blue, as Rachel sings the chorus of “I’ll never get over you.” She looks devastated but just watches him speed off in Charlene as the others look on.

Jeremy tries to make it unawkward with Damon the non-demon and is mediocrely successful? He helps Damon clean up and tries to explain that not only was he not trying to out him; he’s just as out in the outness as Damon is. Damon stops Jeremy’s stumbling and asks him out on a date, and Jeremy enthusiastically accepts, then has to take a call. It’s a sexy, siren-voiced Black Badge agent who’s offering Jeremy a job as the deputy director of BBD. He says yes, because who could say no to that voice, and agrees to start on Tuesday after his date.

Doc is loading up Charlene with his prized possessions — first up, Wyatt’s saddle — and Wynonna finds him and says she’s finally convinced that maybe he’s not bluffing. He just can’t stay where he is anymore, and besides, he wants to see the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. He finally admits to one lie he told Wynonna — he originally told her it was the thought of vengeance that kept him going at the bottom of the well, but while that may have kept him alive, it was actually the thought of love that kept him from being scared. 

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

You see, life is short. But it is long. And it is lonely. So if you manage to find a group of souls who will tolerate you and elevate you…oh, and one… and one who will especially love you. Well, that is all it’s about. That is what the fight is really for.

Wynonna insists that she can’t leave Waverly, and Doc gets it — for Wynonna, the person who she especially loves more than anything, it’s Waverly. He tells her that she’s the best Earp he has ever known and kisses her goodbye as she sobs. She apologizes for hurting him, and he says “we only ever hurt ourselves, Wynonna. I wouldn’t have changed a note.” He drives off in Charlene, and Wynonna watches him go.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Wynonna sits on the stoop of Homestead, and Jeremy, Nicole, Rachel, and Billy can’t believe she didn’t go with him. Nicole points out that he — and they — could be toxic at times, at least before he changed. Nedley stumbles up and just tells Wynonna to go catch up with Doc, and then can’t believe it when Nicole tells him Wynonna said no to the stache. Wynonna points out that as the Earp heir, she needs to protect the GRT with Peacemaker and she can’t even think about leaving. “UH, THE FUCK YOU CAN’T,” Waverly says, mildly disagreeing. She expresses her disgust with everyone but Nicole (“FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!”) for letting Wynonna give up her chance at happiness AGAIN for them and ear-marches her to the barn.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Waverly grabs the first plastic bag Dom has touched in years and starts packing up Wynonna’s stuff, such as it is. She’ll probably have to stop for underwear on the road, is all I’m saying. Wynonna insists she’s not going, and Waverly asks her the most important question she’s heard the entire run of the series — does she want to go? Because for the first time in her life, she has the choice, and Waverly wants her to see there is a choice to be had. She’s not tied to a sister or the GRT or any of them — they’ll call, they’ll write, and Wynonna will be back. It won’t be like the last time she left. Wynonna may be the only one who can wield Peacemaker, but the others can still protect themselves. She doesn’t need to stay for Waverly; Waverly is Waverly and she can protect herself. And if not, she has her own shield that she just married. She needs to stop thinking she’s alone, and she needs to stop punishing herself. For everything. She deserves to be happy, and she deserves to choose herself this time and choose happiness. Waverly tells her sister that even though she and Doc don’t always work together, he’s changed and become a better man. He’s allowed himself to break free, and she needs to choose to leave her burdens behind, too. She can leave, but Waverly isn’t afraid anymore, because she knows she’ll always be back. It’s her home. It says so right on the mailbox. 

And finally, Wynonna lets herself believe Waverly and chooses to be free.

Wynonna runs out to the truck (in the same shirt she entered town in) and tries to start it, but even if Wynonna’s leaving, Gus’ truck is staying. Jeremy tracks Doc and sees that he’s almost at the border, and Nicole brings Wynonna her trusty leather jacket. Wynonna realizes the only way she’ll catch up is if she takes the back roads…and her motorcycle. Passing a “leaving Purgatory; you’ll be back!” sign, she almost catches up to Doc as they cross the border. She decides the best way to get Doc’s attention is to shoot out his wheel, and Charlene skids to the side of the road. They each walk about ten paces in a reverse duel and meet between their two vehicles. Yes, she shot Charlene, but good news — she loves him, and not just in a friend way. In a “bottom of a deep, dark well” way. She loves everything about him, including his butt because that’s where love lives, and how he loves her sister and her. She refuses to go to Cleveland in Charlene, but good news, there’s another form of transportation waiting for them. She climbs on her motorcycle, and he climbs behind her, embracing her and his status as the best damn sidekick in the business. “It’s been a long time since I traveled light,” she says, finally shaking off the weight of her responsibilities, her guilt, and the limitations of her hometown behind her. No sunset yet, but they do ride off into the gorgeousness of Alberta. It’s what they both deserve.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

The couple stops off for a beverage as Wynonna looks at Doc’s itinerary. It’s pretty full and she wonders if they have time for a pit stop in Miracles, Montana, to visit their own little miracle. He wonders if Alice will recognize them, and Wynonna will take that bet; in fact, she’s all in.

And now, they ride off into the sunset.

At the Homestead, Nicole and Waverly finally enjoy some peace and quiet. Nicole assures her bride that Wynonna will be back, and Waverly knows she’s right. Waves wonders if Nicole is jealous of Doc and Wynonna’s adventure — does she wish they were the ones going on a road-trip honeymoon. But Nicole is a simple gal — she has everything she’s ever wanted and is where she always wanted to be — “home with my wife.”

“Home,” Waverly repeats back in possibly the last words ever spoken on Wynonna Earp.

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

The camera moves to the Earp mailbox, with a few additions from Wynonna, Nicole, and Waverly to Doc’s original mailbox, but the most important one reminding us that on this Homestead, in this town, on this show, everyone is welcome. 

Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth

Let me first start by saying, Charlotte Sullivan is a goddamn delight. I had only seen her in a few things before this, but just her handful of minutes in this episode was enough to make me start watching Rookie Blue the next day. Brigitte may be my favorite monster-of-the-week, and not just because her portrayal was hilarious and delightfully unhinged (and you could see Melanie trying not to break). The character lost everything and was just reacting, and Waverly understood that. I think this is the first sign that things are going to be different in Purgatory. Wynonna didn’t automatically shoot just because she was a demon…or at least she let her sister stop her. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and they just react. I loved the portrayal, I loved the demon, and I loved the non-murdery resolution. It sucks that it’s taken this long to get Charlotte to Earp, but I can safely say it was worth the wait. This was a perfect role for her, and her performance was like nothing we’ve ever seen before. 

This was one of the most beautiful wedding scenes I have ever seen on any screen ever, and it’s not just because it’s two of my favorite characters on my favorite show doing a thing that I myself loved doing in my own life. It’s all the little things, sure — the costuming, the way it’s shot on a beautifully sunny Alberta day, the perfect vows, and all the rest of it — but also, it’s because the wedding was there to exist as a wedding; nothing more, nothing less. It wasn’t inserted as a filler, and it wasn’t used as a vehicle for a dramatic interruption or runaway-bride situation or the setting for a crime. It wasn’t a ratings stunt, and it was a focal point of the episode without it feeling exploitative. It existed because Emily Andras wanted to give Earpers the feeling that they got to see their favorites get married. There were empty chairs, sure, but it felt like the real guests who mattered the most weren’t in that field, or even just a name on a chair. They were the ones grabbing for tissues as they hit the volume buttons on their TV remotes so as to not miss a single word. It was a wedding because, more than Nicole and Waverly deserved to be married and be happy, we deserved to watch it happen. 

Waverly Earp has had such a journey on this show — from Champ Hardy to marrying a skull to walking away from the Garden of Eden to marrying her one true love. She’s slowly gotten out from underneath trying to be that perfect girl that everyone wants her to be and has fully embraced following her heart. And now she gets to spend the rest of her life doing what she wants most in the world.

I think with Wynonna Earp, like Jeremy said about WayHaught, the right amount of magic was involved. And boom — because of the people I met from this show, we are stronger than we were before. And we became love. There are different kinds of love, and what was created from this show is a different kind of powerful than what you get in a regular friendship. It’s a love born of and shared by people who feel like their souls and brains understand each other, and who have been looking for a really long time for people like them.

I sometimes feel like I’ve found the missing pieces of my family that I never knew I was missing. I will forever be grateful to this show for putting us all in the same box so we could fit ourselves snugly against each other. 

During a con, I had the pleasure of attending a writing class that Emily Andras held. It was the second time I went, and though I do like to fancy myself a writer, I am definitely not a fiction writer, much less a TV script writer. I didn’t know how much I’d actually get out of it, but I had friends going and I love hearing Emily talk, so I figured why not, right? Not to give too much away, but during the class, she mentioned a particular moment during Days of Our Lives that was pivotal for her in terms of storytelling. Picture it — Salem, 1984. Hope Brady is scheduled to marry local crime boss Larry Welch, when tough-guy Bo Brady kidnaps her from the nuptials and whisks her away off the back of his motorcycle. Imagine my surprise and delight when I realized that not only did Emily adapt this for her own needs, but she made Wynonna Bo Brady, with Doc Holliday the metaphorical bride on the back of the motorcycle. Proof that Emily Andras is a genius who possibly lives inside my brain, and who also knows that inspiration can come from anywhere.

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • Good thing Waverly didn’t wait till the last minute to ask Doc to stand up for her.
  • The smile that lights up Wynonna’s face when Waverly says she and Nicole are best friends will never not make me smile. 
  • The look on Wynonna’s face at Brigitte is maybe the best facing she’s done of the entire series.
  • Exactly how many guns do they have laying around the Homestead?
  • Wynonna’s reasoning for trying on the dress — that she just wanted to feel like a normal bride in a normal relationship — was relatable and believable and heartbreaking. 
  • “I think Mama’s banging her way through Turkey”; convenient, since one of the last times we saw her, she was elbow-deep in a turkey.
  • The “where you go, I go” banner was a lovely touch.
  • Waverly says she’s thankful for the bullet-proof vest? I’m calling that a Willa reference. 
  • I love that Jeremy caught the bouquet.
  • Doc, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is on a hellmouth, so just…use caution. 
  • No writer trusts their actors more with fewer words than Emily Andras.

Monica’s favorite lines:

  • This isn’t a secret wife, Nicole. This is the matrimonial icing.
  • Both of Waverly’s dads died here.
  • You are a good person. Not perfect, but trying, every day to be better. And that makes you the best man I have ever known. And so…I’d like you to be mine. Today. My best man.
  • It would be my joy to stand by your side and watch you marry that formidable woman.
  • “I am a gunslinger.” “Okay, nobody cares.”
  • Well, I guess we’ve got to find some bugs and save a wedding. 
  • Baby, if you left me at the altar, I would fuck shit up.
  • A coward would stay…instead of admitting it is high time to let go of the past and get to living.
  • I’ll make sand out of that witch.
  • Then why was the aggressive one in your wedding dress?
  • Was he not wearing his hat?
  • That cowboy became a cow man for you.
  • Fashion first, bitch.

I started writing recaps right here at this very blog in season two, and then in seasons three and four, I was lucky enough to have them featured at The TV Junkies. Because of some technical issues, they ended up back here, and I don’t hate the full-circle-ness of it all. I wrote them to make my friends laugh and because my brain was screaming for a creative outlet, unsure if anyone else would ever read them, but not really caring. I feel so lucky to have met the people that I did, in part because of the opportunities it gave me for my writing. I’ll never be able to thank my boss, Bridget Liszewski, enough for seeing a rando nerd writing way too many words about an episode and saying, “Hey, why don’t you do it here? No changes to anything except could you please make your pictures a different size?” I’ve been lucky enough to have pieces published about other shows and even interviewing someone from one of my favorite shows, and none of that would have been possible without Bridget and without you. 

It has truly been my honor and delight to write about Wynonna Earp all of these years, and I am so grateful to all of you for the support and encouragement (well, most of you; the season-four comments section has been disabled for a reason). Thank you for reading what I have to say and thank you for the opportunity to make you laugh. You let me be me, and nothing has made me happier. 

Obviously, I hope this is not the end. This show deserves six seasons and a movie, minimum, because these characters and the writers deserve it. That being said, if this is the end, wow — what a perfect ending. Emily Andras managed to do the impossible. She tied up the majority of the loose ends of the season (I know, I know, Eve, blah blah — look up “majority”), gave us a beautiful wlw wedding that made me cry and laugh in all the right places, and gave our titular heroine the happy ending she deserved. She gave us happiness and light during what has really been a time of darkness and despair. It’s easy, in a way, to write monster-of-the-week episodes, or even just completely fuck shit up and put everyone in danger, especially on a genre show. It’s a tried-and-true formula of getting in a pickle, being in the pickle, then consuming the pickle and being mostly okay, but dealing with pickle consequences. It’s more difficult to let everyone be happy and make it seem genuine and heartfelt and like it could actually happen, especially with characters as broken as the ones on this show are.

It’s harder to make the love interesting without the drama, I think. Not every show can do it, and no other writer could have done this, in my opinion. Wynonna wouldn’t be Wynonna without Emily, and she gave us one last gift — this perfect finale and a fitting send-off if this really is the end.

Wynonna Earp may have saved me, but Emily Andras, you are my hero.

Wynonna Earp airs every day at any time you want in your heart, because it will never truly leave us.

Wynonna Earp 1×03, AKA the One Where Dolls Basically Kills Shorty Even Though Wynonna Pulls the Trigger, Nicole Is 87% Heart Eyes, and Champ Doesn’t Put Gluten in His Body, Even Though He Puts His Body in Places Where He Shouldn’t

Hello, friends. What a crazy couple of weeks it’s been! I intended to write this last Tuesday, and then I got stranded in Amsterdam for two extra days, blowing all of my carefully laid plans out of the water. Oh, well. At least I’m back on track, sort of, writing wise, even if I haven’t made it to Costco yet. Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 1×02, AKA the One Where We Meet Nicole Haught’s Swagger, Gus Called a Revenant a Nut Sac, and Wynonna is a Crazy Chick with a Gun

Hello, friends! Hopefully I’ve shaken off my recapping rust and the last recap proved enjoyable. It’s really, really nice to be back in the swing of things. I know I miss this show when it’s on hiatus, so hopefully between the podcast and the recaps, I’m helping bring some enjoyment into your lives.

And if not…well, why are you reading? Did you lose a bet? Those are weird terms, but okay.

So, grab a towel (because of those pesky taps), get your snack of lady fingers (GET IT?!), and make sure you have ALL OF YOUR SWAGGER, HAUGHT PANTS STYLE, and let’s do this thing.

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • Oh, I do love Doc Holliday’s voice.
  • Really, Dolls? You think you can tell Wynonna to be discreet and then it’s all just gonna be okay?
  • Dolls says “I don’t gamble,” and then sends Wynonna into a crowded bar with the wrong gun after a Revenant. That seems like gambling to me.
  • This is the correct answering look to the amazing line “I never blow jobs without a ‘please’ first.” 1
  • I’M sorry, but we’re supposed to believe an attractive blonde would let Red, with his sharpened teeth and weird leather pants that are weirdly baggy, get all up in her business, lady and otherwise?2
  • I’m digging Wynonna’s WWE-esque moves. It’s like when Buffy did the hurrican-rana (on Spike, I think?).
  • Is poking Dolls with the gun really the best idea, Wy?
  • Why must this show talk about tacos so much? Oh, I do love tacos…for they are tasty. *answers 39 tweets from Earpers wanting to make sure I’m okay*
  • Killer Miller really didn’t give that security guard very long to pick a target.
  • Of course the city next to Purgatory is marked on the map as…The Big City…made even more poignant by Waverly staring at it wistfully. Do you see it? Look harder.3
  • Oh, Red. When you need to discredit a woman, Revenant or not, you know to attack her morals. “A rabid case of nymphomania”? Really? Based on what? Ugh. Fucking patriarchy.
  • Who in their right fucking minds would accept a poker game with Doc Holliday? Because even though we don’t technically know who he is, these bros presumably do.4
  • Where did he get money? Is that from Wyatt’s day, or did he run some sort of dry-cleaning service out of the underground spring in the well?
  • When I first watched this, I thought Dolls referring to “the big city” was just a generalization. Didn’t realize that was its map name and all and should have been The Big City.
  • “I’m telling you, none of these are going to work.” Also my words and my face when my friends would talk about cute boys.5
  • That really does sound like something Eleanor Roosevelt would have done.
  • Flamethrower isn’t until later in the season, Wy. And spoiler alert — you don’t get to use it. Sorry.
  • I think I said this in a later recap, but I think it’s odd that Wy’s grandfather Edwin didn’t have a W name.
  • Wynonna’s joy at firing all of the different guns is so…amazing. One of the few times you see her genuinely happy for a few seconds with none of the weight of the curse, her dad and Willa, etc., hanging over her.
  • I really thought hot-dog-stuffed crust pizza was years and years ago, but it was in 2015! That’s crazy!
  • Does Dolls just travel with a picture of Valdita, NM, in his pocket or…
  • Oh, Kate McKinnon’s Justin Bieber Champ, you are super cheerful for someone who tried to fuck your girlfriend’s sister and are now in the presence of both of them. Oh, to have the confidence and self-assurance of a mediocre straight white man.6b
  • Seriously, Waverly, why did you forgive him so quickly?
  • Looks like the sun is helping the stache become the stache we all knew it could be. #StacheGoals7
  • Who are these women hanging with the Revenants? Are they also Revenants or just ladies who dig demons? I mean, whatever makes you happy. Just asking. I guess they’re probably the “human familiars” referenced later, but I just don’t get it. I supposed I was never one for the “bad boy,” though, so maybe I’m not the best judge.
  • Also, these ladies are wearing like tank tops and shorts, and Doc is in a shirt, tie, vest, jacket, and hat…plus pants.
  • And Bobo is wearing his Gaga jacket! What the fuck is with the weather in Purgatory? Do demons and immortals just run cold?!
  • Did Doc have his guns in the well? I wonder if it ever crossed his mind to kill himself. If he did have them, it really speaks to how strong (and stubborn) of a person he is.
  • Doc says it’s only a matter of time before they figure out who he is (Doc) and what he did to Wyatt. He became immortal and took up with a lady of the evening instead of joining him in Purgatory. That’s it, right?
  • There are four motorcycles outside of Shorty’s, but the only people there are Wynonna, Waverly, and Gus. Where’s everyone else?
  • Frida Kahlo indeed…
  • Why are they eating at Shorty’s and not at Gus’?
  • Okay, wow. There’s a lot to unpack here with Waverly’s drawing. Little Waves can spell “Wynonna” but not “Willa.” Everyone is happy but her. I…guess she liked rainbows. 8
  • I LOVE GUS’ ELECTRIC KNIFE. True story — I procured an electric knife for my Gus cosplay.
  • MELANIE. SCROFANO’S. FACE.9
  • Waverly’s entrance may have been one of the best of all time, but Nicole Haught’s opening line? That’s also one for the history books. Queer, attractive in a way that wasn’t as…pretty as most lesbians on TV (not that Nicole/Kat isn’t pretty, but hopefully you know what I mean), confident without being predatory, and also dorkily awkward, my life changed for the better when Nicole Haught walked into it.10
  • OMG, THEY BOTH CHECK EACH OTHER OUT SO SUBTLY.
  • The Earp sisters are very important to me, but WayHaught is an important relationship in its own right, obviously. It’s really unlike anything we’ve seen on TV, and I think Emily Andras and company really captured it perfectly.
  • This scene is so dorky, but also so adorable and amazing.
  • Waverly, the people-pleaser, is going to deny AN OFFICER OF THE LAW a cappuccino just because they’re “not open yet”? I call shenanigans.
  • Heart eyes for days, bitches. Did she ever look at Champ that way?11
  • And when Waverly shoots her down (I mean, kind of, with that “boy man” garbage), Nicole’s like, “Okay, cool.” She’s not pining, at least not openly. She doesn’t try and force it. She asks out the pretty girl and then is fine when it doesn’t happen. Nicole Haught is adult queer lady goals.
  • Welcome to the newest graduate of the Lena Luthor School of “How to Look at Women Platonically.”12
  • So what you’re saying is you expect me to believe there are at least 20 streets in Purgatory.13
  • Dolls is not great at making friends.
  • THERE’S THE STACHE WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE.14
  • Waverly Earpsplaining Doc Holliday about Wyatt is spectacular.
  • Why does Waverly pull back on admitting she’s an Earp? Everyone in town knows who she is! I guess as a precaution. Ugh. Fine.
  • So to pay for Doc’s drink, Waverly pulls money out of her pocket, says it’s out of her tips, and then…drops it in the tip jar?
  • I do love Waverly and Doc’s relationship.
  • Doc doesn’t consider himself a good man, but over the course of the two seasons, we see, just like Wynonna, that he is wrong about himself. They both think they’re these awful people, but they’re brave, honest, hard-working characters who try to do their best with the poor hand they’ve been dealt.
  • “I have my toys; you have yours.”
  • Wynonna dropping the gun while she says “which only I can handle” just makes you fall in love with Wynonna a little bit more. She’s a heroine for all of us.
  • Dolls was such a dick to Nicole.
  • Oh, Dolls. You and your implied treason.
  • Levi seems more human than a lot of the Revenants. Does this mean he made fewer trips to Hell than the others?
  • Bobo says Peacemaker can’t be touched by Revenant hands, but…he can touch Peacemaker. Is it because Peacemaker knew him? Obviously the regular rules don’t apply to Bobo.
  • Much like we see at Nicole’s house, I’m pretty sure that Waverly’s apartment is filled with things from IKEA. Hard to believe they didn’t run into each other there, as I assume it’s located in The Big City.15
  • Head canon — IKEA is where Nicole first spotted Waverly, where she keeps seeing her in the store but is hesitant to approach. Then she sees her in Purgatory and tells herself this is her chance. The next day, she enters Shorty’s.
  • Where did Doc get that hoodie?
  • And his jacket and I think pants have pockets, so…why did he have to put the book in the front of his pants?
  • “But my yoga mat is there.”
  • Mama Earp made the ammolite wind chimes, which is interesting. So she was all in on the curse, as well as the cult.
  • The Homestead sure does suddenly look better.
  • Seriously, what is with this weather? Dolls is in pants, t-shirt, jacket. Wynonna and Waverly are in tank tops, with Waves in her shorts.
  • Everything Wynonna says about their mother has a different weight now that we know she’s alive…and that we know Wynonna knows she’s alive.
  • Shouldn’t they have explained the rules for Killer Miller before Doc gave the blood sacrifice?
  • Even the Revenants love Waverly.
  • Wynonna’s constant badgering of Champ and the fact that her sister is dating him is really good sister business.
  • Good thing Waves has that flashlight…when it’s light out.16
  • The talisman on the Homestead was bound by iron twine. Wonder if the Iron Witch had anything to do with that…or if everyone is Purgatory is just anemic.
  • The Earp sisters are very important to me.17
  • I definitely have the pants Wynonna is wearing. It was originally part of my lesbian lumberjack cosplay, but now there’s a Wy I can cosplay!18
  • WYNONNA, STOP PUTTING YOUR SISTER IN THE CLOSET.
  • I also love when Waves says shit ticket. And when she has one of her many shotguns.
  • Bobo said “it had to be an Earp” and that’s why Waverly had to bury the talisman.  I know, I know. Bobo is not known for his honesty But…maybe when she was a child, he genuinely believed she was an Earp and came to know through Willa that she wasn’t?
  • Wait. Is Waverly digging with a…TIRE IRON?!19
  • And there’s nervous Levi, just holding his axe. Like you do. Doing his best “Xander as Dracula’s minion” impression.20
  • Totally a tire iron. I guess it’s because the shovel is at the bottom of Doc’s well.21
  • Loved Wynonna threatening Levi with her slippers on. Really subtle ways of showing the audience how original our heroine is.
  • “You’re just a girl.” “I am THE girl.” Yeah, you are. You’re the goddamn Earp heir!
  • I just love how much fun Waverly is having. Part of the investigation. Hanging with her sister and Fancy Pants Agent Man. And not to mention, Killer Miller was after HER and not Wynonna. Oh, and she made a new gal pal today. Everything’s coming up Waverly.22
  • I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW.23
  • The sisters are just so happy, guys. Making the homestead an actual home. It’s what they’ve always deserved.
  • Wynonna’s impression of Doc saying “defiled by hooligans” is one of my favorites.
  • IN YOUR EYES24
  • And we have episode two ending the same way episode one did with the sisters — by objectifying one of the men. Nice. I’m here for it.
  • We never see Doc wear these jeans again, right? Because they’re terrible. I wish I could enter this show and tell Champ they were made of gluten so he wouldn’t wear them anymore.
  • It seemed like Waverly didn’t blame Wynonna for what happened to Willa and Ward, but here she admits that she did…but I still say not in the same way Wynonna did. And it turns out, it was Waverly’s fault all along. DAMN YOU, WAVERLY. IS NOTHING SACRED.
  • “I like the hat and the shirt, and you’ve definitely got the swagger, but the jeans have got. to. go. 25
  • So, Bobo’s just chilling in his coat and his pants, no shirt?
  • Interesting that Bobo’s Revenant brand shows on his back and not on his face.
  • Asking Levi to bring you Wynonna’s head is a bit like asking Draco Malfoy to kill Albus Dumbledore. I mean, sure..technically they probably could do it, but…are they really the best man for the job?
  • “Boys, I need to make a dramatic speech, and I just need to be shirtless while I do it. I saw it on Buffy, and it really made me take the character of Angel more seriously, especially when he did his tai chi.”26
  • Doc is a good man, but the lengths he’s willing to go to for revenge are great. He has reservations about torturing Levi, but he really just can’t see past the chance for revenge that Bobo is offering him.

Monica’s Final Thoughts:

When I watched this the first time, I remember loving this episode, but when I watch it within the framework of all of the other episodes, I’m not as big of a fan. It felt like there was a lot more plot as opposed to character development, and I’m here for the characters. It was still good and I love watching it, but there’s still a lot of exposition to lay the foundation for.

Shameless plug:

Don’t forget that Michelle, BP, and I have started recording a Wynonna Earp podcast. We are breaking down each episode and are doing some minisodes in which we talk about an individual subject, and we hope to have a new podcast available each week. This week’s is about Doc Holliday! If you haven’t already, please follow us over on the Twitter at @Earpsplainpod. I myself am having a really great time recording this. These two ladies are lovely people who I genuinely enjoy talking to, and their love of TV matches my own — a rare thing.

You can find it at Libsyn, or on iTunes or Google Play

Postscript 

Chris and I celebrated our second anniversary this week, and we are headed on vacation to Reykjavik and Amsterdam this weekend. I’m hoping to blog a bit each day to at least post some pictures, so if traveling is your jam, be sure to check in. And who knows — perhaps Traveling Wynonna will make an appearance!

Wynonna Earp 1×01, AKA the One Where Wy Got Off the Bus, Waverly Had an Amazing Entrance, Gus Took No Shit, and Our Lives Were Changed Forever

HELLO, EARPERS AND FRIENDS.

Have I mentioned how busy fall season is at work? Or have you just been able to tell from the lack of Earping on my part? Ugh. And I’m so tired when I get home that sometimes instead of writing, I read SuperCorp fanfic, because it relaxes me. But then sometimes I’m reminded that Kara/Mon-el fanfic exists and it makes me sad for humanity.

So, fresh off my recent gig for Docstache, I’m going to start recapping season one. I cannot promise you a posting schedule or any sort of timeline, but I can guarantee they will be:

  • Unnecessarily Long
  • Full of too many screenshots
  • Done before the premiere of season 3
  • Chock-full of pop-culture references
  • Replete with spoilers, so if you’re just reading as you watch, well, locate a legit recapper instead of me

Does that sound like your thing? If so, well, grab your bus ticket and chestnut latte (and a GoGirl just in case), a shovel (though we don’t know why), and be careful of angry sisters wielding shotguns. Here we go!

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness: Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 2×12, AKA the One Where Everyone Made us Laugh, Broke All of Our Hearts, and Said “Vagina” a Lot

Hello, friends. What an amazing finale. I’ve seen a lot of TV, and that was one of the best. Amazeballs. The opposite of a shit strumpet. This finale also good.

Before I get into it, I wanted to talk a little bit about why this Wynonna Earp viewing was so special for me. @BridgetOnTV@nedleysoffice, and @HiDizzle20 all came to my house to watch. The second two were there for dinner, and obviously I served them the most divisive food in the Earper community, mushrooms. My wife made doughnuts for us to enjoy, and I whipped up some mocktails I called Boobs McSeltzers.

Special shout-out to my Earper-adjacent wife, Chris, for being such an accommodating and gracious co-host and making such delicious food. She is the best.

Watching with them was super fun but also a little surreal. I joked that it was like Bridget gets a full-length live reaction video, because even though she was mostly watching the episode and tweeting her gifs (that we all had to get off of wifi for because she’s such a diva), she was watching our reactions a little bit. After the episode, Bridget called in to Whiskey and Doughnuts, and before I knew it, we were on with the cast, which was a super-cool and kind-of-surreal experience. And sorry, Melanie — I know you asked for a house tour, but maybe next time. Cool?

Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 2×11, AKA the One Where Everyone Forgot Wynonna, Good People Died(?), and WayHaught Love Each Other In All Timelines

Hello, friends! Happy finale week! I have to tell you, it’s been a busy few days for me. I like to start these recaps on Saturday, and it’s Monday night. No time to waste! I LOVED this episode — if “Tabula Rasa” and “The Wish” had a baby, it would be this delicious little morsel. I love episodes like this — where everyone is mostly themselves, but just a little bit…off. Or, even better, when they’re not themselves at all — I’m looking at you, Lost Girl‘s “Original Skin.” Damn it, Monica. Stop rambling! Put down your pickle, blow out your prayer candles for Doc, Dolls, Rosita, and Nedley, and let’s go!

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Nicole got bitten by a Widow, and Waves didn’t trust Wynonna to save her, so she made a really bad deal. Doc and Wynonna vanish, and then everyone seems to forget who Wynonna was. That seems like it could be problematic!

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness: Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 2×10, AKA the One Where Nicole Vaulted a Couch and Has a Wife, Waverly Makes a Bad Deal with a Witch, and Wynonna — Wait, Who’s Wynonna?

Hello, friends, and welcome to this week’s Unnecessarily Long Recap. Of course, these days it’s maybe reasonably long and not actually a recap, but I named it this two months ago, and now I’m stuck with it, so…

Anyway, jump over your couch and have a seat, because this week’s episode was a doozy!

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness: Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 2×09, AKA the One with Multiple Dolls…es, a Hot Tub, and the Most Awkward Dinner Party Ever

I hope to someday get back to my full Unnecessarily Long Recaps, but I think that will be in between seasons. So yay — something for all of us to look forward to! For now, I hope you enjoy these extended Random Thoughts of Randomness and other assorted things.

Guys. GUYS. I’m not gonna lie, this episode gave me a lot of feelings. I technically watch alone (my wife is usually here, but she doesn’t watch the show), so my reactions are usually pretty tame with no one to interact with, other than on Twitter. But this week, I shouted at the TV a few times, AND I threw my phone. Twice. So grab your champagne and your mac and cheese, practice with your sexy fighting sticks, and don’t forget to shoot your creepy doll in the face. Let’s go!

Oh, one other thing — don’t forget to grab your compassion, and while you’re at it, make sure you have some understanding that people are beautiful and terrible and flawed and amazing. People make mistakes and do stupid things, and they shouldn’t necessarily be persecuted for one tiny thing they did in the context of their entire life. So if you’re reading this and expect the phrase “I can’t believe Waverly cheated on Nicole,” well, you’re in the wrong place. I recommend finding another recap, because this one will just make you mad.

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness: Continue reading

Wynonna Earp 2×08, AKA the One Where Wynonna Stepped in the Tardis and Nicole Just Stepped In It

Hello, friends! Apologies for the unexpected hiatus, and I’m afraid that the recap won’t be the same as usual. Real life has intervened, and I’m a bit short on time this week once again. But I do have a lot of thoughts, and I’d like to get some of them down. It won’t be the Unnecessarily Long Recap you’ve all grown to love tolerate, but I do have some observations, some screen shots, and a crazy theory or two. Let’s jump in!

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • I got into a nature-vs.-nurture discussion argument with @NedleysOffice on Twitter this week. I say Willa is a product of her environment and not just a straight-up sociopath; Office disagrees. But I have to tell you, Willa trying to kill Waves by having her fall through the ice does not exactly support my argument.
  • Who names a baby “Welcome”?
  • Widow!Mercedes is so freaking amazing.
  • Widow!Beth attacking Juan Carlo reminded me of the Leviathans on Supernatural. Then I remembered how they [spoiler alert] treat all of their female characters like 13th-class citizens, especially my dear, dear Charlie, and then I was super happy that shows like Wynonna Earp exist. Also, Juan Carlo reminds me of Bobby. Ahem. Back to it!
  • Rosie and Doc are super cute together. However, to be honest, I think they would be super cute with anyone, because holy shit, they are both so attractive. Daaamn.
  • Also, do any of the women of Purgatory dress appropriately to the weather?rosie
  • I love that Rosita, Doc, and Wynonna are all adults about this situation. It’s refreshing. No unnecessary drama.
  • Naps are my bitch, too, Wynonna.
  • Wynonna’s doctor was so freaking amazing. In both episodes we have seen her in so far. Non-judgmental, comforting, supportive, funny. Just wish I could find a doctor like that. I mean, not a baby doctor. I haven’t seen any angels in my dreams lately. We’re cool.
  • I’m with you, Nedley. Willie Nelson is a national treasure.
  • No way Waverly is that bad at pool. She practically grew up at Shorty’s. I call shenanigans.
  • Also, where’s that scar that chicks dig? And can we get some love for Nicole’s Pink Ladies jacket?pool
  • Nicole, you really can’t lie to your girlfriend at all.
  • I love Nicole’s unwavering disgust for Bobo.
  • I could really go for some nachos and tequila right now. Did I mention I’m in day 2 of 30 days of clean eating? I want all of the food. It’s fine. I’m fine.
  • I watched this episode at a friend’s house, and she was like, “Oh, Brendan Fehr!” I was like, “That is the least-exciting part of the episode for me, but I like that you’re engaged!”
  • You know what line I loved? “Neutral men are the devil’s allies.” I feel like that…really has a lot of relevance in our world today. Apparently Dolls likes to quote Edwin Hubbel Chapin.
  • “The Earp sisters will be reunited before sundown.” So…Willa, right? We’ll see Willa soon? I hope so. Sociopath or not, such a great character!
  • Hmm. Wonder what last time’s gross doctor’s-office story was.
  • “Holy pioneer balls” indeed, Wynonna.
  • I feel like that’s how I might react if I realized I was in a vision quest.
  • I love how she tells the baby to calm down. Such a great moment.
  • Crazy that Bobo’s hair gets better after he comes back from Hell. That’s a pretty neat trick.
  • Time really changes a man. Years in Hell made Bobo a bad dude. Years in a well made Doc a gentle, open-minded, caring soul. So I guess when given the choice between well and Hell, choose well. Both will give you great hair.
  • I guess Bobo’s always been a snazzy dresser.church
  • Loved that Juan Carlo punched a Widow. Solid choice.
  • Where can I get a piñata filled with doughnuts?!! (Day 2, guys.)
  • Nicole, always the voice of reason. Her talking about feeling like an outsider was so on brand with her character, and of course she wants everyone to get along, including Boobs McSeltzer and her boyfriend’s baby mama.
  • “She needs to see the past if we have any hope for the future” seems like the tagline to a summer blockbuster about a psychic time-traveler who’s leading a plucky band of misfits against an orange-skinned villain.
  • I love that the show is answering so many questions about the backstory. Proof that if you invest time in a show that loves you back, it’s worth it. I was especially impressed with Bobo’s backstory. Repeating “I am a good man” — heartbreaking.
  • I wonder if we’re gonna see good, old demon Sheriff Clootie in the next four weeks.
  • Dolls hates the woods! And it seems like he’s not a huge fan of the Widows, either.
  • I’m sorry, but the least-believable part in this episode was Nicole’s purse. She is not the kind of lesbian who would carry a giant purse like that. She’s either a “stuff it in your pockets” gal, or maybe a backpack or messenger bag on a special occasion, like a Pride fest or a softball game.
  • Oh, hey, while we’re on the subject of Nicole…oh, my goodness. I get it. Sometimes you do really stupid shit because you think you’re protecting the woman you love, but in reality, you’re treating them like a child. It’s completely understandable, sure, but…such a mistake. Such a mistake. You’re not Champ, Nicole. You are in a grown-up relationship, and you take care of each other — it’s not one-sided. And dropping the “I love you” feels desperate, though there’s no doubt in my mind she means it.
  • That being said…let’s not be too quick to judge, Waverly. You kept the fact that you fought a demon that was possessing you for SEVEN WEEKS to yourself. So, you know, let’s all just admit that love makes you do the wacky and have some of that make-up sex you think is so great.
  • I just hope that Nicole heard Waverly loud and clear. She needs a partner, not a mother. Someone to be there with her through hard times, not someone who tries to make decisions for her. Stand up and be the woman and girlfriend we know you can be, Nicole. Be the partner Waverly deserves.
  • Sorry. I have a lot of feelings.
  • Ever wonder what sadness looks like? It’s this. This is sadness.nic
  • If I had more time, I would do a whole photo collage devoted to Kat Barrell’s face in this episode.
  • Who carries a spool of thread on their person?
  • I think Bobo took even longer to die than Laura Hollis did.
  • That scene with Bobo and Wynonna, where she tells him she’s Waverly and he worries about what he’ll become — sheer genius and perfection. All of the feelings.
  • And all of the mind-fuck. Which actions caused which? How could he think Waverly is his angel before Wynonna traveled back in time to tell him that? Oh, time-travel. You’re such a tricky shit ticket.
  • Wynonna being dead for 77 seconds, huh? The exact number of revenants? Well, that must definitely be a coincidence.
  • Well, I’m sure Wynonna saying she and Dolls will never be enemies is definitely not foreshadowing.

Monica’s Insane Theory:

What if Waverly’s parentage is a red herring?  Maybe she’s an Earp; maybe she’s just the product of an affair. What if it doesn’t matter? What if NICOLE is the half revenant/half human that Jonas spoke about last week? Remember how Jack said she was “the wrong kind”? And maybe she was just drawn to Purgatory….or Nedley has known all along and recruited her. He’s no small-town idiot cop. I think he’s been playing the long game, well, for a long time, especially since he seems to be pretty familiar with Juan Carlo. Maybe he replaced that awful Sheriff Clootie years and years ago and he’s been kicking it since, Mayor Wilkins style. And it was time to bring in half-Revenant Nicole Haught to town to fight the big bad.

Thanks for joining me, friends. Sorry it wasn’t one of my “traditional” recaps, but I still hope you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it! See you next time!

Wynonna Earp 2×06, AKA the One Where Everyone Took a Giant Nap and Then Were All In

Hello, Earpers! Emily Andras and company really took us on a ride this week, didn’t they? In what was an amazing first solo script from Caitlyn Fryers, this episode made me laugh, cry, internally scream, internally gay scream, and everything in between (and around). Seriously, after it was over, I turned to my wife (who doesn’t watch the show and was instead listening to music and crocheting) and said, “This is one of the best episodes of TV I have ever seen.” So grab some Beaver Buzz, find you a hot mixologist for snuggling, and wrap yourself in a bonus blanket to protect you from the feels. Let’s go!

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Doc and Rosie held hands, Tucker is a creeptastic weirdo, the Scoobies defeated the tentacle goo, freeing both Earp sisters from possession, Black Badge is gone, and Wynonna has gone forth and multiplied.

NotArt Moody and Dolls happen upon each other in an alley, and Moody vaguely threatens Dolls, at which point backup, Doc, shows up. They all pretend to be friends, and Moody tells them that Black Badge has cut the Scoobies loose, per the Powers that Be. Moody tells Dolls he should up and leave as well if he wants to live, but Dolls won’t leave until he finishes his mission. In a move that proves he’s not a complete douche canoe, Moody hands over some info on a beastie that Doc let loose with his dynamite — one of The Widows. Dolls asks Moody how a government agency can just disappear, and Moody tells him what we’ve all slowly started to realize — Black Badge isn’t a government agency, and never was.

doc

Guess how I feel about the government and its agencies.

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