Hello, friends. What a crazy couple of weeks it’s been! I intended to write this last Tuesday, and then I got stranded in Amsterdam for two extra days, blowing all of my carefully laid plans out of the water. Oh, well. At least I’m back on track, sort of, writing wise, even if I haven’t made it to Costco yet. Continue reading
Hello, friends! Hopefully I’ve shaken off my recapping rust and the last recap proved enjoyable. It’s really, really nice to be back in the swing of things. I know I miss this show when it’s on hiatus, so hopefully between the podcast and the recaps, I’m helping bring some enjoyment into your lives.
And if not…well, why are you reading? Did you lose a bet? Those are weird terms, but okay.
So, grab a towel (because of those pesky taps), get your snack of lady fingers (GET IT?!), and make sure you have ALL OF YOUR SWAGGER, HAUGHT PANTS STYLE, and let’s do this thing.
Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:
- Oh, I do love Doc Holliday’s voice.
- Really, Dolls? You think you can tell Wynonna to be discreet and then it’s all just gonna be okay?
- Dolls says “I don’t gamble,” and then sends Wynonna into a crowded bar with the wrong gun after a Revenant. That seems like gambling to me.
- This is the correct answering look to the amazing line “I never blow jobs without a ‘please’ first.”
- I’M sorry, but we’re supposed to believe an attractive blonde would let Red, with his sharpened teeth and weird leather pants that are weirdly baggy, get all up in her business, lady and otherwise?
- I’m digging Wynonna’s WWE-esque moves. It’s like when Buffy did the hurrican-rana (on Spike, I think?).
- Is poking Dolls with the gun really the best idea, Wy?
- Why must this show talk about tacos so much? Oh, I do love tacos…for they are tasty. *answers 39 tweets from Earpers wanting to make sure I’m okay*
- Killer Miller really didn’t give that security guard very long to pick a target.
- Of course the city next to Purgatory is marked on the map as…The Big City…made even more poignant by Waverly staring at it wistfully. Do you see it? Look harder.
- Oh, Red. When you need to discredit a woman, Revenant or not, you know to attack her morals. “A rabid case of nymphomania”? Really? Based on what? Ugh. Fucking patriarchy.
- Who in their right fucking minds would accept a poker game with Doc Holliday? Because even though we don’t technically know who he is, these bros presumably do.
- Where did he get money? Is that from Wyatt’s day, or did he run some sort of dry-cleaning service out of the underground spring in the well?
- When I first watched this, I thought Dolls referring to “the big city” was just a generalization. Didn’t realize that was its map name and all and should have been The Big City.
- “I’m telling you, none of these are going to work.” Also my words and my face when my friends would talk about cute boys.
- That really does sound like something Eleanor Roosevelt would have done.
- Flamethrower isn’t until later in the season, Wy. And spoiler alert — you don’t get to use it. Sorry.
- I think I said this in a later recap, but I think it’s odd that Wy’s grandfather Edwin didn’t have a W name.
- Wynonna’s joy at firing all of the different guns is so…amazing. One of the few times you see her genuinely happy for a few seconds with none of the weight of the curse, her dad and Willa, etc., hanging over her.
- I really thought hot-dog-stuffed crust pizza was years and years ago, but it was in 2015! That’s crazy!
- Does Dolls just travel with a picture of Valdita, NM, in his pocket or…
- Oh, Kate McKinnon’s Justin Bieber Champ, you are super cheerful for someone who tried to fuck your girlfriend’s sister and are now in the presence of both of them. Oh, to have the confidence and self-assurance of a mediocre straight white man.
- Seriously, Waverly, why did you forgive him so quickly?
- Looks like the sun is helping the stache become the stache we all knew it could be. #StacheGoals
- Who are these women hanging with the Revenants? Are they also Revenants or just ladies who dig demons? I mean, whatever makes you happy. Just asking. I guess they’re probably the “human familiars” referenced later, but I just don’t get it. I supposed I was never one for the “bad boy,” though, so maybe I’m not the best judge.
- Also, these ladies are wearing like tank tops and shorts, and Doc is in a shirt, tie, vest, jacket, and hat…plus pants.
- And Bobo is wearing his Gaga jacket! What the fuck is with the weather in Purgatory? Do demons and immortals just run cold?!
- Did Doc have his guns in the well? I wonder if it ever crossed his mind to kill himself. If he did have them, it really speaks to how strong (and stubborn) of a person he is.
- Doc says it’s only a matter of time before they figure out who he is (Doc) and what he did to Wyatt. He became immortal and took up with a lady of the evening instead of joining him in Purgatory. That’s it, right?
- There are four motorcycles outside of Shorty’s, but the only people there are Wynonna, Waverly, and Gus. Where’s everyone else?
- Frida Kahlo indeed…
- Why are they eating at Shorty’s and not at Gus’?
- Okay, wow. There’s a lot to unpack here with Waverly’s drawing. Little Waves can spell “Wynonna” but not “Willa.” Everyone is happy but her. I…guess she liked rainbows.
- I LOVE GUS’ ELECTRIC KNIFE. True story — I procured an electric knife for my Gus cosplay.
- MELANIE. SCROFANO’S. FACE.
- Waverly’s entrance may have been one of the best of all time, but Nicole Haught’s opening line? That’s also one for the history books. Queer, attractive in a way that wasn’t as…pretty as most lesbians on TV (not that Nicole/Kat isn’t pretty, but hopefully you know what I mean), confident without being predatory, and also dorkily awkward, my life changed for the better when Nicole Haught walked into it.
- OMG, THEY BOTH CHECK EACH OTHER OUT SO SUBTLY.
- The Earp sisters are very important to me, but WayHaught is an important relationship in its own right, obviously. It’s really unlike anything we’ve seen on TV, and I think Emily Andras and company really captured it perfectly.
- This scene is so dorky, but also so adorable and amazing.
- Waverly, the people-pleaser, is going to deny AN OFFICER OF THE LAW a cappuccino just because they’re “not open yet”? I call shenanigans.
- Heart eyes for days, bitches. Did she ever look at Champ that way?
- And when Waverly shoots her down (I mean, kind of, with that “boy man” garbage), Nicole’s like, “Okay, cool.” She’s not pining, at least not openly. She doesn’t try and force it. She asks out the pretty girl and then is fine when it doesn’t happen. Nicole Haught is adult queer lady goals.
- Welcome to the newest graduate of the Lena Luthor School of “How to Look at Women Platonically.”
- So what you’re saying is you expect me to believe there are at least 20 streets in Purgatory.
- Dolls is not great at making friends.
- THERE’S THE STACHE WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE.
- Waverly Earpsplaining Doc Holliday about Wyatt is spectacular.
- Why does Waverly pull back on admitting she’s an Earp? Everyone in town knows who she is! I guess as a precaution. Ugh. Fine.
- So to pay for Doc’s drink, Waverly pulls money out of her pocket, says it’s out of her tips, and then…drops it in the tip jar?
- I do love Waverly and Doc’s relationship.
- Doc doesn’t consider himself a good man, but over the course of the two seasons, we see, just like Wynonna, that he is wrong about himself. They both think they’re these awful people, but they’re brave, honest, hard-working characters who try to do their best with the poor hand they’ve been dealt.
- “I have my toys; you have yours.”
- Wynonna dropping the gun while she says “which only I can handle” just makes you fall in love with Wynonna a little bit more. She’s a heroine for all of us.
- Dolls was such a dick to Nicole.
- Oh, Dolls. You and your implied treason.
- Levi seems more human than a lot of the Revenants. Does this mean he made fewer trips to Hell than the others?
- Bobo says Peacemaker can’t be touched by Revenant hands, but…he can touch Peacemaker. Is it because Peacemaker knew him? Obviously the regular rules don’t apply to Bobo.
- Much like we see at Nicole’s house, I’m pretty sure that Waverly’s apartment is filled with things from IKEA. Hard to believe they didn’t run into each other there, as I assume it’s located in The Big City.
- Head canon — IKEA is where Nicole first spotted Waverly, where she keeps seeing her in the store but is hesitant to approach. Then she sees her in Purgatory and tells herself this is her chance. The next day, she enters Shorty’s.
- Where did Doc get that hoodie?
- And his jacket and I think pants have pockets, so…why did he have to put the book in the front of his pants?
- “But my yoga mat is there.”
- Mama Earp made the ammolite wind chimes, which is interesting. So she was all in on the curse, as well as the cult.
- The Homestead sure does suddenly look better.
- Seriously, what is with this weather? Dolls is in pants, t-shirt, jacket. Wynonna and Waverly are in tank tops, with Waves in her shorts.
- Everything Wynonna says about their mother has a different weight now that we know she’s alive…and that we know Wynonna knows she’s alive.
- Shouldn’t they have explained the rules for Killer Miller before Doc gave the blood sacrifice?
- Even the Revenants love Waverly.
- Wynonna’s constant badgering of Champ and the fact that her sister is dating him is really good sister business.
- Good thing Waves has that flashlight…when it’s light out.
- The talisman on the Homestead was bound by iron twine. Wonder if the Iron Witch had anything to do with that…or if everyone is Purgatory is just anemic.
- The Earp sisters are very important to me.
- I definitely have the pants Wynonna is wearing. It was originally part of my lesbian lumberjack cosplay, but now there’s a Wy I can cosplay!
- WYNONNA, STOP PUTTING YOUR SISTER IN THE CLOSET.
- I also love when Waves says shit ticket. And when she has one of her many shotguns.
- Bobo said “it had to be an Earp” and that’s why Waverly had to bury the talisman. I know, I know. Bobo is not known for his honesty But…maybe when she was a child, he genuinely believed she was an Earp and came to know through Willa that she wasn’t?
- Wait. Is Waverly digging with a…TIRE IRON?!
- And there’s nervous Levi, just holding his axe. Like you do. Doing his best “Xander as Dracula’s minion” impression.
- Totally a tire iron. I guess it’s because the shovel is at the bottom of Doc’s well.
- Loved Wynonna threatening Levi with her slippers on. Really subtle ways of showing the audience how original our heroine is.
- “You’re just a girl.” “I am THE girl.” Yeah, you are. You’re the goddamn Earp heir!
- I just love how much fun Waverly is having. Part of the investigation. Hanging with her sister and Fancy Pants Agent Man. And not to mention, Killer Miller was after HER and not Wynonna. Oh, and she made a new gal pal today. Everything’s coming up Waverly.
- I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW.
- The sisters are just so happy, guys. Making the homestead an actual home. It’s what they’ve always deserved.
- Wynonna’s impression of Doc saying “defiled by hooligans” is one of my favorites.
- IN YOUR EYES
- And we have episode two ending the same way episode one did with the sisters — by objectifying one of the men. Nice. I’m here for it.
- We never see Doc wear these jeans again, right? Because they’re terrible. I wish I could enter this show and tell Champ they were made of gluten so he wouldn’t wear them anymore.
- It seemed like Waverly didn’t blame Wynonna for what happened to Willa and Ward, but here she admits that she did…but I still say not in the same way Wynonna did. And it turns out, it was Waverly’s fault all along. DAMN YOU, WAVERLY. IS NOTHING SACRED.
- “I like the hat and the shirt, and you’ve definitely got the swagger, but the jeans have got. to. go.
- So, Bobo’s just chilling in his coat and his pants, no shirt?
- Interesting that Bobo’s Revenant brand shows on his back and not on his face.
- Asking Levi to bring you Wynonna’s head is a bit like asking Draco Malfoy to kill Albus Dumbledore. I mean, sure..technically they probably could do it, but…are they really the best man for the job?
- “Boys, I need to make a dramatic speech, and I just need to be shirtless while I do it. I saw it on Buffy, and it really made me take the character of Angel more seriously, especially when he did his tai chi.”
- Doc is a good man, but the lengths he’s willing to go to for revenge are great. He has reservations about torturing Levi, but he really just can’t see past the chance for revenge that Bobo is offering him.
Monica’s Final Thoughts:
When I watched this the first time, I remember loving this episode, but when I watch it within the framework of all of the other episodes, I’m not as big of a fan. It felt like there was a lot more plot as opposed to character development, and I’m here for the characters. It was still good and I love watching it, but there’s still a lot of exposition to lay the foundation for.
Don’t forget that Michelle, BP, and I have started recording a Wynonna Earp podcast. We are breaking down each episode and are doing some minisodes in which we talk about an individual subject, and we hope to have a new podcast available each week. This week’s is about Doc Holliday! If you haven’t already, please follow us over on the Twitter at @Earpsplainpod. I myself am having a really great time recording this. These two ladies are lovely people who I genuinely enjoy talking to, and their love of TV matches my own — a rare thing.
Chris and I celebrated our second anniversary this week, and we are headed on vacation to Reykjavik and Amsterdam this weekend. I’m hoping to blog a bit each day to at least post some pictures, so if traveling is your jam, be sure to check in. And who knows — perhaps Traveling Wynonna will make an appearance!
HELLO, EARPERS AND FRIENDS.
Have I mentioned how busy fall season is at work? Or have you just been able to tell from the lack of Earping on my part? Ugh. And I’m so tired when I get home that sometimes instead of writing, I read SuperCorp fanfic, because it relaxes me. But then sometimes I’m reminded that Kara/Mon-el fanfic exists and it makes me sad for humanity.
So, fresh off my recent gig for Docstache, I’m going to start recapping season one. I cannot promise you a posting schedule or any sort of timeline, but I can guarantee they will be:
- Unnecessarily Long
- Full of too many screenshots
- Done before the premiere of season 3
- Chock-full of pop-culture references
- Replete with spoilers, so if you’re just reading as you watch, well, locate a legit recapper instead of me
Does that sound like your thing? If so, well, grab your bus ticket and chestnut latte (and a GoGirl just in case), a shovel (though we don’t know why), and be careful of angry sisters wielding shotguns. Here we go!
Monica’s Random Points of Randomness: Continue reading
Hello, friends. What an amazing finale. I’ve seen a lot of TV, and that was one of the best. Amazeballs. The opposite of a shit strumpet. This finale also good.
Before I get into it, I wanted to talk a little bit about why this Wynonna Earp viewing was so special for me. @BridgetOnTV, @nedleysoffice, and @HiDizzle20 all came to my house to watch. The second two were there for dinner, and obviously I served them the most divisive food in the Earper community, mushrooms. My wife made doughnuts for us to enjoy, and I whipped up some mocktails I called Boobs McSeltzers.
Special shout-out to my Earper-adjacent wife, Chris, for being such an accommodating and gracious co-host and making such delicious food. She is the best.
Watching with them was super fun but also a little surreal. I joked that it was like Bridget gets a full-length live reaction video, because even though she was mostly watching the episode and tweeting her gifs (that we all had to get off of wifi for because she’s such a diva), she was watching our reactions a little bit. After the episode, Bridget called in to Whiskey and Doughnuts, and before I knew it, we were on with the cast, which was a super-cool and kind-of-surreal experience. And sorry, Melanie — I know you asked for a house tour, but maybe next time. Cool?
Hello, friends! Happy finale week! I have to tell you, it’s been a busy few days for me. I like to start these recaps on Saturday, and it’s Monday night. No time to waste! I LOVED this episode — if “Tabula Rasa” and “The Wish” had a baby, it would be this delicious little morsel. I love episodes like this — where everyone is mostly themselves, but just a little bit…off. Or, even better, when they’re not themselves at all — I’m looking at you, Lost Girl‘s “Original Skin.” Damn it, Monica. Stop rambling! Put down your pickle, blow out your prayer candles for Doc, Dolls, Rosita, and Nedley, and let’s go!
Previously on Wynonna Earp, Nicole got bitten by a Widow, and Waves didn’t trust Wynonna to save her, so she made a really bad deal. Doc and Wynonna vanish, and then everyone seems to forget who Wynonna was. That seems like it could be problematic!
Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness: Continue reading
Hello, friends, and welcome to this week’s Unnecessarily Long Recap. Of course, these days it’s maybe reasonably long and not actually a recap, but I named it this two months ago, and now I’m stuck with it, so…
Anyway, jump over your couch and have a seat, because this week’s episode was a doozy!
Monica’s Random Points of Randomness: Continue reading
I hope to someday get back to my full Unnecessarily Long Recaps, but I think that will be in between seasons. So yay — something for all of us to look forward to! For now, I hope you enjoy these extended Random Thoughts of Randomness and other assorted things.
Guys. GUYS. I’m not gonna lie, this episode gave me a lot of feelings. I technically watch alone (my wife is usually here, but she doesn’t watch the show), so my reactions are usually pretty tame with no one to interact with, other than on Twitter. But this week, I shouted at the TV a few times, AND I threw my phone. Twice. So grab your champagne and your mac and cheese, practice with your sexy fighting sticks, and don’t forget to shoot your creepy doll in the face. Let’s go!
Oh, one other thing — don’t forget to grab your compassion, and while you’re at it, make sure you have some understanding that people are beautiful and terrible and flawed and amazing. People make mistakes and do stupid things, and they shouldn’t necessarily be persecuted for one tiny thing they did in the context of their entire life. So if you’re reading this and expect the phrase “I can’t believe Waverly cheated on Nicole,” well, you’re in the wrong place. I recommend finding another recap, because this one will just make you mad.
Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness: Continue reading
Hello, friends! Apologies for the unexpected hiatus, and I’m afraid that the recap won’t be the same as usual. Real life has intervened, and I’m a bit short on time this week once again. But I do have a lot of thoughts, and I’d like to get some of them down. It won’t be the Unnecessarily Long Recap you’ve all grown to
love tolerate, but I do have some observations, some screen shots, and a crazy theory or two. Let’s jump in!
Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:
- I got into a nature-vs.-nurture
discussionargument with @NedleysOffice on Twitter this week. I say Willa is a product of her environment and not just a straight-up sociopath; Office disagrees. But I have to tell you, Willa trying to kill Waves by having her fall through the ice does not exactly support my argument.
- Who names a baby “Welcome”?
- Widow!Mercedes is so freaking amazing.
- Widow!Beth attacking Juan Carlo reminded me of the Leviathans on Supernatural. Then I remembered how they [spoiler alert] treat all of their female characters like 13th-class citizens, especially my dear, dear Charlie, and then I was super happy that shows like Wynonna Earp exist. Also, Juan Carlo reminds me of Bobby. Ahem. Back to it!
- Rosie and Doc are super cute together. However, to be honest, I think they would be super cute with anyone, because holy shit, they are both so attractive. Daaamn.
- Also, do any of the women of Purgatory dress appropriately to the weather?
- I love that Rosita, Doc, and Wynonna are all adults about this situation. It’s refreshing. No unnecessary drama.
- Naps are my bitch, too, Wynonna.
- Wynonna’s doctor was so freaking amazing. In both episodes we have seen her in so far. Non-judgmental, comforting, supportive, funny. Just wish I could find a doctor like that. I mean, not a baby doctor. I haven’t seen any angels in my dreams lately. We’re cool.
- I’m with you, Nedley. Willie Nelson is a national treasure.
- No way Waverly is that bad at pool. She practically grew up at Shorty’s. I call shenanigans.
- Also, where’s that scar that chicks dig? And can we get some love for Nicole’s Pink Ladies jacket?
- Nicole, you really can’t lie to your girlfriend at all.
- I love Nicole’s unwavering disgust for Bobo.
- I could really go for some nachos and tequila right now. Did I mention I’m in day 2 of 30 days of clean eating? I want all of the food. It’s fine. I’m fine.
- I watched this episode at a friend’s house, and she was like, “Oh, Brendan Fehr!” I was like, “That is the least-exciting part of the episode for me, but I like that you’re engaged!”
- You know what line I loved? “Neutral men are the devil’s allies.” I feel like that…really has a lot of relevance in our world today. Apparently Dolls likes to quote Edwin Hubbel Chapin.
- “The Earp sisters will be reunited before sundown.” So…Willa, right? We’ll see Willa soon? I hope so. Sociopath or not, such a great character!
- Hmm. Wonder what last time’s gross doctor’s-office story was.
- “Holy pioneer balls” indeed, Wynonna.
- I feel like that’s how I might react if I realized I was in a vision quest.
- I love how she tells the baby to calm down. Such a great moment.
- Crazy that Bobo’s hair gets better after he comes back from Hell. That’s a pretty neat trick.
- Time really changes a man. Years in Hell made Bobo a bad dude. Years in a well made Doc a gentle, open-minded, caring soul. So I guess when given the choice between well and Hell, choose well. Both will give you great hair.
- I guess Bobo’s always been a snazzy dresser.
- Loved that Juan Carlo punched a Widow. Solid choice.
- Where can I get a piñata filled with doughnuts?!! (Day 2, guys.)
- Nicole, always the voice of reason. Her talking about feeling like an outsider was so on brand with her character, and of course she wants everyone to get along, including Boobs McSeltzer and her boyfriend’s baby mama.
- “She needs to see the past if we have any hope for the future” seems like the tagline to a summer blockbuster about a psychic time-traveler who’s leading a plucky band of misfits against an orange-skinned villain.
- I love that the show is answering so many questions about the backstory. Proof that if you invest time in a show that loves you back, it’s worth it. I was especially impressed with Bobo’s backstory. Repeating “I am a good man” — heartbreaking.
- I wonder if we’re gonna see good, old demon Sheriff Clootie in the next four weeks.
- Dolls hates the woods! And it seems like he’s not a huge fan of the Widows, either.
- I’m sorry, but the least-believable part in this episode was Nicole’s purse. She is not the kind of lesbian who would carry a giant purse like that. She’s either a “stuff it in your pockets” gal, or maybe a backpack or messenger bag on a special occasion, like a Pride fest or a softball game.
- Oh, hey, while we’re on the subject of Nicole…oh, my goodness. I get it. Sometimes you do really stupid shit because you think you’re protecting the woman you love, but in reality, you’re treating them like a child. It’s completely understandable, sure, but…such a mistake. Such a mistake. You’re not Champ, Nicole. You are in a grown-up relationship, and you take care of each other — it’s not one-sided. And dropping the “I love you” feels desperate, though there’s no doubt in my mind she means it.
- That being said…let’s not be too quick to judge, Waverly. You kept the fact that you fought a demon that was possessing you for SEVEN WEEKS to yourself. So, you know, let’s all just admit that love makes you do the wacky and have some of that make-up sex you think is so great.
- I just hope that Nicole heard Waverly loud and clear. She needs a partner, not a mother. Someone to be there with her through hard times, not someone who tries to make decisions for her. Stand up and be the woman and girlfriend we know you can be, Nicole. Be the partner Waverly deserves.
- Sorry. I have a lot of feelings.
- Ever wonder what sadness looks like? It’s this. This is sadness.
- If I had more time, I would do a whole photo collage devoted to Kat Barrell’s face in this episode.
- Who carries a spool of thread on their person?
- I think Bobo took even longer to die than Laura Hollis did.
- That scene with Bobo and Wynonna, where she tells him she’s Waverly and he worries about what he’ll become — sheer genius and perfection. All of the feelings.
- And all of the mind-fuck. Which actions caused which? How could he think Waverly is his angel before Wynonna traveled back in time to tell him that? Oh, time-travel. You’re such a tricky shit ticket.
- Wynonna being dead for 77 seconds, huh? The exact number of revenants? Well, that must definitely be a coincidence.
- Well, I’m sure Wynonna saying she and Dolls will never be enemies is definitely not foreshadowing.
Monica’s Insane Theory:
What if Waverly’s parentage is a red herring? Maybe she’s an Earp; maybe she’s just the product of an affair. What if it doesn’t matter? What if NICOLE is the half revenant/half human that Jonas spoke about last week? Remember how Jack said she was “the wrong kind”? And maybe she was just drawn to Purgatory….or Nedley has known all along and recruited her. He’s no small-town idiot cop. I think he’s been playing the long game, well, for a long time, especially since he seems to be pretty familiar with Juan Carlo. Maybe he replaced that awful Sheriff Clootie years and years ago and he’s been kicking it since, Mayor Wilkins style. And it was time to bring in half-Revenant Nicole Haught to town to fight the big bad.
Thanks for joining me, friends. Sorry it wasn’t one of my “traditional” recaps, but I still hope you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it! See you next time!
Hello, Earpers! Emily Andras and company really took us on a ride this week, didn’t they? In what was an amazing first solo script from Caitlyn Fryers, this episode made me laugh, cry, internally scream, internally gay scream, and everything in between (and around). Seriously, after it was over, I turned to my wife (who doesn’t watch the show and was instead listening to music and crocheting) and said, “This is one of the best episodes of TV I have ever seen.” So grab some Beaver Buzz, find you a hot mixologist for snuggling, and wrap yourself in a bonus blanket to protect you from the feels. Let’s go!
Previously on Wynonna Earp, Doc and Rosie held hands, Tucker is a creeptastic weirdo, the Scoobies defeated the tentacle goo, freeing both Earp sisters from possession, Black Badge is gone, and Wynonna has gone forth and multiplied.
NotArt Moody and Dolls happen upon each other in an alley, and Moody vaguely threatens Dolls, at which point backup, Doc, shows up. They all pretend to be friends, and Moody tells them that Black Badge has cut the Scoobies loose, per the Powers that Be. Moody tells Dolls he should up and leave as well if he wants to live, but Dolls won’t leave until he finishes his mission. In a move that proves he’s not a complete douche canoe, Moody hands over some info on a beastie that Doc let loose with his dynamite — one of The Widows. Dolls asks Moody how a government agency can just disappear, and Moody tells him what we’ve all slowly started to realize — Black Badge isn’t a government agency, and never was.
Guess how I feel about the government and its agencies.
Wow, these titles are getting longer and longer.
Hello, Earpers! Welcome to another Unnecessarily Long recap. Evelyn Andrews teased a big reveal, and holy shit, she wasn’t kidding. It was a game-changing episode, both for the series and for a new standard by which to hold show runners, networks, and their actors. Seriously, that reveal at the end said as much about Wynonna Earp the story as it did Wynonna Earp the show. Grab some soup and a peanut butter chaser; if you’re tied to a chair, get comfy; and whatever you do, DON’T TOUCH THE GOO.
Previously on Wynonna Earp, Edwin Earp’s plate was stolen from a Black Badge operative, but don’t worry — his family got it back; Waverly had her hand cut off , but don’t worry — Gooverly grew it back; Dolls is a dragon; and Wynonna is now the Keeper of the Goo…and creepy AF.
We open on a cross between Buffy’s demon-lizard (patriarchial) frat boys and the Initiative chanting in the general direction of a businessman who is actually a busigooman, and they promptly cut off his head. There’s “only one” left to cleanse from the world, which sounds pretty good. Their leader, unfazed by the head he’s just dropped, asks if anyone else wants to go for nachos.
Let’s just maybe hold off on the salsa? Or go salsa verde. No reason.
At the Homestead, Goononna is mixing up a special
smoothie bloody Mary for Waverly with all of the basic food groups — home fries, bacon, and a rat. Interestingly, it looked like she cooked the bacon first, though the rat was raw.
She’s still lovely, but this smile is so…chilling.