Hello, friends! Happy finale week! I have to tell you, it’s been a busy few days for me. I like to start these recaps on Saturday, and it’s Monday night. No time to waste! I LOVED this episode — if “Tabula Rasa” and “The Wish” had a baby, it would be this delicious little morsel. I love episodes like this — where everyone is mostly themselves, but just a little bit…off. Or, even better, when they’re not themselves at all — I’m looking at you, Lost Girl‘s “Original Skin.” Damn it, Monica. Stop rambling! Put down your pickle, blow out your prayer candles for Doc, Dolls, Rosita, and Nedley, and let’s go!

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Nicole got bitten by a Widow, and Waves didn’t trust Wynonna to save her, so she made a really bad deal. Doc and Wynonna vanish, and then everyone seems to forget who Wynonna was. That seems like it could be problematic!

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness:

• That opening scene of Doc’s apocalyptic takeover of the Earp homestead is EPIC. It was shot and scored beautifully, with each puzzle piece fitting together perfectly. My favorite visual part was the burning tire.
• And my favorite thing about all of this — NICOLE HAUGHT IS A BADASS MOTHERFUCKING ACTION HERO. She protects her girl (and herself), she shoots bad guys, she’s physically imposing and strong. She is basically everything television and movies have taught us to believe only a man should be. This opening (and the expanded scene later in the episode) just felt so important to me. So empowering. So representative of what a different type of show we are watching.
• Additionally, Waverly Earp is no shrinking violet. She wields her stick, even though it isn’t her regular Sexy Stick ™, so she’s not without a weapon, eventually somehow getting her hands on a gun, too. (DID SHE STEAL A GUN FROM A REVENANT?!) She lets herself be protected by the cop with the gun, but she’s not helpless. Waverly Earp is a lot of things in a lot of worlds, and helpless is never one of them.
• Good thing Doc has cell service down in that well.
• Doc in the well breaks my heart. Also, I much prefer him as a good guy, but evil genius sure does look good on him.
• Without Wynonna, Doc really is a shadow of the man we know him to be.
• I wonder whose skull is hanging out in front of the Homestead Holliday Haus.
• I found Rosita attractive in our normal timeline, but…daaaaamn. She’s such a badass in this ep. All of the women are badasses! And look at her. She doesn’t have time for your sass, Doc Holliday.
• It’s good that no matter what ‘verse we are in, none of the women of Purgatory can’t dress for the weather.
  

  
• Dani Kind is SO GOOD as Widow!Mercedes. So creepy. So unhinged. So perfect.
• Interesting that Jeremy carries a gun in Alternaverse. And also pretty cute that he still has a crush on Doc.
• Oh, think we can’t be upset enough about the man Doc is in this timeline? Let’s make him be the murderer of Sheriff Nedley, everyone’s new favorite character. OKAY, COOL.
• Dolls calling Doc’s mustache “compensating” — priceless.
• Hi, just want to take this opportunity again to say how amazing Nicole Haught is in this Alternaverse.
• Why isn’t Nicole in Nedley’s office if she’s the sheriff? Is it to keep us in suspense as to whether or not she is the sheriff? Is it because the spell isn’t that strong? Is it because incompetent Lonnie can’t be trusted alone?
• I like that the memorial picture of Nedley looks like it was taken at Bobo’s party…or whatever the Alternaversion of that was.
• LITERALLY BABY ME WHEN I KNEW BABY CHRIS WOULD BE WALKING INTO BABY WORK 15 YEARS AGO. GOTTA LOOK GOOD FOR MY LADY THAT I’M NOT DATING.
• Oh, hey, Sheriff Heart Eyes.
  

  

  

  
• No matter the ‘verse, always an interrupter. Damn you, Interrupting!Lonnie!
• Interesting that in the Alternaverse, Gus doesn’t marry Curtis, I guess? Because her last name isn’t McCready. Makes you wonder if Curtis is tied up in all of this more than we know.
• Finally, someone knows Waverly’s birthday. I’ll just be here under my Wonder Woman bonus blanket sobbing, thanks.
• Nicole is at her walking bumper-stickeriest when they talk about Waverly getting married.
• Love when Doc hissed back at Widow!Mercedes!
• Just your weekly reminder that any two characters onscreen together are perfect. Exhibit 1,549:
• “All are invited; few will survive” also sounds like Bobo’s party from last season.
• “Useless C-word of a sister.” Whoa!
• I like that Waverly was marrying Perry. I get why she would be with a guy, but I also get why it isn’t Champ. She’s realized her worth. And not because of Nicole or Wynonna. Because of herself.
• Perry must be the most patient man in the Ghost River Triangle.
• Bobo is at St. Jude’s, the hospital of the patron saint of lost causes, huh?
• Me: Wow, Bobo can’t get creepier. Michael Eklund: Hold my straight razor.
• I…do not think any of this is SOP for a mental hospital.
• Widow!Beth is really bad at witchery.
• Waverly really is all alone in this Alternaverse. Poor Waves. Poor Gus. Maybe she and Curtis married but she didn’t change her name?
• Okay, I guess I get why she tried the wedding dress on, but…why didn’t she change out of it?
• Doc Holliday vs. bullets is the real story of season 2.
• Hearing Doc describe Jeremy made me love him even more? Hell, both of them. Also, my heart grew three sizes when Doc put his hat on Jeremy.
• Of course Waverly and her shotgun are bros in all of the universes.
• The heartbreak in Doc’s eyes when he realizes Dolls wasn’t wearing body armor…
• And Doc calling Dolls “Partner.”
• I straight-up started crying when Doc told Waverly how lovely she looked in the wedding dress and then called her “baby girl.”
• Doc Holliday also seems to be afflicted with the Laura Hollis Dying Disease.
• In addition to the obvious attraction, I love how Waves has a little bit of hero worship going on for Nicole.
• Perhaps my favorite interaction of the entire series is “You’d do that for me?” “I’d do a lot of things to you.” “F-For me?” “Yeah, that too, mm-hmm.”
• Okay, enough sobbing, guys. How many people do I have to watch suffer?
• Yeah, Nicole. Just like Narnia. I assume you’re referring to the spell the White Witch cast on the land of Narnia to make it an everlasting winter, not Narnia itself, which, as far as we know, could be real. I haven’t investigated all of the possible wardrobes.
• Seriously, why the wedding dress still?
• Greta, didn’t you ever watch Buffy? Wishes have consequences. And if you make one, you need some good mojo behind it. Like Anyanka.
• “I betrayed her BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.” Oh, Sheriff Heart Eyes.
• “Your lineage isn’t exactly pure” isn’t the same as “You’re not even an Earp.”
• Untied straitjacket Bobo reminded me so much of the Gentlemen’s henchmen in “Hush.”
• Like so many of us, Nicole steps out of her pleated comfort zone for the woman she loves, even though in this Alternaverse, she doesn’t even know she loves her (but she certainly feels it, even if she can’t explain it). She breaks the law so many times to help this woman who delivers her sandwich, who doesn’t even know she’s not a big fan of the pickle.
• Dude, I am loving Alternaverse Rosie. Seriously, I miss the fuck out of Wynonna, but all of the women are bonkers awesome.
• Oh, man. Jeremy mentioned the word “simulation,” and I knew @micnic1291 LOST HER SHIT. This simulation really does suck.
• I love that both versions of Waverly make the sign of the cross when she goes to dig up Pikachu.
• In our normal verse, Waves digs by herself, but of course Nicole helps her in this one.
• Nicole helps and protects Waverly, even when her ideas force this face.
• What time is it? Time for Superhero Nicole Haught: The Reprise, that’s what time it is!
• The thing I love about this episode is it made me cackle with laughter as much as it made me cry.
• ALL OF THE WOMEN ON THIS SHOW ARE EVERYTHING! THE WIDOWS AND THE GOOD GUYS AND THE BAD GUYS AND THEY’RE ALL WOMEN AND THANK YOU, EMILY ANDRAS. Ahem. Jeremy, Doc, and Dolls also good.
• “Where you go, I go.” Book of Ruth much, HaughtPants? Or just “Fried Green Tomatoes”?
• This show saved the gays by literally having the gays kill themselves and everyone else. And that’s how you make a trope your bitch. GayVengers assemble!
• What other show lets us see our perfect couple fall in love from the beginning TWICE. Hell, it’s difficult to see a queer couple get equal representation in a relationship once, let alone multiple times. 
• Everyone gets their memory back and what’s the first thing Nicole does? Apologize. Aaaaand Waverly cuts her off by attacking her with her mouth. Dreamy sigh.
• Sheriff Clootie has the power to make Bobo not go back to Hell. By making him immortal? Or making him human again? Better be careful what you wish for, Bobo. Please see above.
• “Oh, I can feel him. He’s coming.” “God, it’s like your wedding night all over again.” DYING.
• The difference in personality between OriginalRecipe!Mercedes & !Beth vs. both “fresh-faced” and current Widow!Mercedes and !Beth really is striking.
• How tempting would it be for her to just…stay? 
• But…she’s the goddamn Earp heir and she’s got work to do.
• …especially after that supernatural growly sheriff.

Things I Would Like More Details on from the Alternaverse:

• How does Jeremy have sex 1 1/2 times?
• How did the Widows free themselves?
• How did Greta lose her eye?
• Why doesn’t Bobo do his weird teeth snapping thing in the Alternaverse?
• Is Calamity Jane also a ginger cat here?

Monica’s final thoughts:

I AM SO STOKED for the finale. I am hoping for a lot of resolutions, and one of them is Waverly and Nicole finally saying “I love you” on equal footing — audibly, not out of anger or fear, not in the midst of danger. Also answers about who is still alive amongst Rosita, Dolls, Doc, Nedley, and Gus, of course. Oh, and maybe clear up that Widows business, Waverly’s lineage, and everything with Wynonna’s baby. Most excitedly? I get to watch the finale with @nedleysoffice & @HiDizzle20.

See you for the finale!