Wynonna Earp 2×06, AKA the One Where Everyone Took a Giant Nap and Then Were All In

Hello, Earpers! Emily Andras and company really took us on a ride this week, didn’t they? In what was an amazing first solo script from Caitlyn Fryers, this episode made me laugh, cry, internally scream, internally gay scream, and everything in between (and around). Seriously, after it was over, I turned to my wife (who doesn’t watch the show and was instead listening to music and crocheting) and said, “This is one of the best episodes of TV I have ever seen.” So grab some Beaver Buzz, find you a hot mixologist for snuggling, and wrap yourself in a bonus blanket to protect you from the feels. Let’s go!

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Doc and Rosie held hands, Tucker is a creeptastic weirdo, the Scoobies defeated the tentacle goo, freeing both Earp sisters from possession, Black Badge is gone, and Wynonna has gone forth and multiplied.

NotArt Moody and Dolls happen upon each other in an alley, and Moody vaguely threatens Dolls, at which point backup, Doc, shows up. They all pretend to be friends, and Moody tells them that Black Badge has cut the Scoobies loose, per the Powers that Be. Moody tells Dolls he should up and leave as well if he wants to live, but Dolls won’t leave until he finishes his mission. In a move that proves he’s not a complete douche canoe, Moody hands over some info on a beastie that Doc let loose with his dynamite — one of The Widows. Dolls asks Moody how a government agency can just disappear, and Moody tells him what we’ve all slowly started to realize — Black Badge isn’t a government agency, and never was.

doc

Guess how I feel about the government and its agencies.

Speaking of The Widows, one is in a church and furiously digging in the ground, muttering about something being stolen. A priest finds her, and she grabs him by the rosary and asks him where “it” is, but in a surprising move to no one, she pulls too hard and kills him. “Oh, well,” she says as she begins to eat his face.

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Not to be all judgey, but no wonder you haven’t remaried. Yeesh.

At the Homestead, the Earp sisters are carrying Waverly’s collection of shiny out of the barn as Wynonna yells at Waves for touching the goo and Waves is like, “Um, pregnant much?” Wynonna isn’t ready to talk about it but agrees to let her sister ask one question, but apparently “how far along are you?” isn’t one she wants to answer. There is too much heavy supernatural shit going on right now to deal with wrapping her head around something so normal…and even more terrifying. Waverly backs off (for now), they both agree they’re happy she’s not possessed anymore, and Wynonna has to pee…again.

At the Sherriff’s office, Wynonna’s looking for a distraction and harasses Nicole to give her a case. Nicole, used to dealing with women who won’t take no for an answer, I’m assuming, gives Wynonna suggestions on places to be that aren’t the station and, when that doesn’t work, begs Waverly to get rid of her so she can get some work done…for the next 10 minutes, until she’s done. See, Waves has shown up with coffee tea for her big sister, and seriously, Waverly, you are horrible at keeping secrets.

“The Earp Sisters: A Play in Two Acts,” by Future Sherriff Nicole Haught. The bonus third act not pictured here is titled “Willa Earp: Kind of a Dick.”

Wynonna whines about how sappy WayHaught is (as the Earper viewers swoon, swearing they hear angelic harps playing), and then, interrupting those angelic harps with a screech, a nun with bloodied hands enters, saying her boss was killed. I’m guessing they don’t work at St. Andrew Avellino’s, who just so happens to be the patron saint of sudden death. Thanks, useless Theology degree!

At the Gardner manse, The Widows are trying to find…something in Purgatory by throwing some rings on a map. Hey, guys, if it’s that vegan restaurant, it hasn’t happened yet. Just FYI.

map

Hey, Mercedes, did you try Yelp? Google Maps? Siri?

The Widows insist that the other is more to blame for the predicament they’re in — Mercedes for “losing their husband’s/husbands’ favor” and Beth for all of the…priest-eating business at the church. They don’t know where the Stone Witch is, and they aren’t strong enough to take on Juan Carlo. They devise a plan to get more time from Hypnos, The Clockmaker…which involves Tucker as the muscle, who has shown up at his domicile.

tuck

This is how bad guys dress, right? I saw it on my programs.

He creepily checks out Poppy, Hypnos’ companion, and, despite her protests, wakes him up. Hypnos threatens this plucky human who dares disturb him, but The Widows gave him one of them their map rings as protection. He threatens to hurt Poppy if Hypnos doesn’t cooperate, and he agrees.

At the station, the Scoobies get the lowdown from Sister Mary Bloody Hands. She describes sudden cold, a Victorian Woman in Black, and then paralysis, which sounds familiar to Wynonna. That’s who she saw at the old school. She admits she thought she was being haunted by Willa, but now she’s not so sure. Jeremy tells them that both places the ladies were seen were consecrated ground, and they all realize that there must be more than one seal. Jeremy can find it, using math and a burrito.

Dolls reports back to tell them the news about BBD being dissolved, and he is positively GLOWING, presumably at the prospect of being with Wynonna. Despite being at the bottom of a well for 120 years, Doc still knows how to mark his territory and subtly tells Dolls to back off. Jeremy, meanwhile, wonders who is going to be paying him. And Waverly just wonders what the F is going on with Wynonna’s men and their pissing competition.

waves

Say, you all didn’t happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?

Wynonna takes this opportunity to remind everyone that Black Badge or no, she’s still the crazy chick with the bigass gun and they have demons to send back to Hell. Jeremy leaves to go find the seal and also introduce Doc to the world of take-out burritos, because they probably didn’t deliver those in the well. Dolls asks Wynonna to have a coffee with him, because he is seizing the day. And the girl. And Doc? Doc does what he thinks is the gentlemanly thing — tips his hat and…bows out.

doc2

Now, I know I said she ain’t nobody’s but her own, but I also kind of hoped she’d be mine, too.

Oblivious!Wynonna, though, is just as oblivious when it comes to matters of her own heart and doesn’t realize that Dolls is about to get her to accept his final rose. Waverly kicks him out and has a heart-to-heart with big sis, pointing out that it’s already a confusing situation without bringing sexy dragons into it. She tries to tell Wynonna she has to talk to Doc first because keeping the truth about her pregnancy isn’t fair to either of them. But Baby Girl should know by now that you can’t tell Wynonna that she has to do anything. She really is her own woman, and that includes the tiny being inside of her.

I’m sure Waverly doesn’t mean to sound all Judgmental Jillian there, but she sure does. The thing is, it’s entirely Wynonna’s decision to tell who she wants to, and when. It’s also her decision to sleep with 3/4 of the entire town of Purgatory if she wants to, because it’s her body, her life, her decision. Rao knows that she has had so many of them taken away. Let her make the ones she wants.

And, chastised, Waverly backs off.

Nicole stares at the two of them affectionately.

hearteyes

If you look up “heart eyes” in the dictionary, this is what you find. Also “HaughtPants.” And “dimples.”

Wynonna comments on their coupley-ness, of course, because when Wynonna stops being oblivious, she needs to prove she knows all of the things. Waves tells her that WayHaught hasn’t had that normal, regular post-tentacle-goo discussion yet, and Wynonna tells her to get on with it. One of them deserves to be happy.

Jeremy, meanwhile, using math and a pencil, has found the second seal!

5

If it’s in SeaWorld or Vancouver, I’m calling shenanigans, Jeremy.

WayHaught has made their way to Waverly’s room, and things seem to be going…better. “You taste like my Waverly again,” Nicole tells her, causing every single viewer to get weak in the knees, setting off a queer-lady chain reaction of swooning across the world. But Nicole, summoning all of her strength, stops. She needs to know — when they were together and Waverly was partially tentacle, was she…her Waverly? Or was it the goo? Because they did a lot of things and said a lot of things, and she just needs to know.

12

Baby, you said you liked my SuperCorp fanfic, and I need to know if you meant it, because I had serious doubts about the pacing, but you said it worked. But if the issue is that you think Mon-el and Kara are a more believable couple than Lena and Kara…I think the goo has changed you too much for you to come back. It’s over, baby.

Waverly explains it was all her, because she remembers every single second with her best baby. And once again…all is right in the world.

Love makes you do the wacky.

At the diner, Wynonna reluctantly sits down with Dolls to have “the talk.” He begins to tell her how he feels, and who should walk in but Widow Mercedes. Wynonna can immediately sense something is off, but probably just thinks she’s lost another friend who’s grown tired of her, especially when Mercedes blows her off as Wynonna tries to connect. Mercedes blames Tucker with some clever double speak we Earpers pick up on, but Wynonna just think she’s at the end of her Earp rope.

Dolls starts in on “the talk” again, but Wynonna, being Wynonna, runs away…to the bathroom…to tinkle. As she heads to the whiz palace, the people behind her start to fade, and she herself stops, woozy, and slides down the wall. An as-yet-undetermined time passes, and Wynonna wakes up from zap from Peacemaker, which makes me wonder if it tracks steps, too.

diner

Beau’s Diner was a great shout-out to West-by-God-Virginia’s own Papa Earp!

Wynonna brushes dust off of her coat, then sees her much-bigger-than-before pregnant belly. So…I guess a lot of time has passed, huh?

She grabs Peacemaker and gets another jolt, then walks around the diner, taking in all of the slumbering patrons. She manages to wake up a very confused Dolls and explain that everyone’s been knocked out for a while. They walk through Purgatory, which is a ghost town in the Ghost River Triangle. Wynonna takes off, needing to check on her first priority, Waverly.

At the Homestead, she smacks her baby sister in the face with a pillow to wake her up and asks if her giant pregnant belly looks normal.18

I am gonna need to move up that baby shower. (Also, I do not see four plus one blankets. I call shenanigans.)

Waverly realizes that naked Nicole is elsewhere at the same time Dolls finds her, judging from the shrieking. Downstairs at the Homestead, Nic’s putting on her clothes like Dad just walked in on her deflowering his daughter (which he kind of did) and Dolls is passing out espresso. Nicole wants to wake everyone up (because of course she does, because do-gooder), but Dolls and Wynonna point out that if they go on the hunt now, the thing that’s still awake is probably the thing that caused it. Nicole offers to get them some pick-me-ups from the evidence locker, and they take off.

Wynonna’s hangs back in the kitchen for a minute and takes a second to examine the life growing inside her. Forgetting her gloves, Nicole heads back in and runs into Wynonna, noticing the newest in-utero addition to the Earp family. Nicole just wants to take a quick look at the town and make sure no one is in imminent danger, because first and foremost she’s a cop…and the future sheriff of this town. She takes that job seriously. She doesn’t press Wynonna or make her answer any questions. She just tells her how to get into the evidence locker with the kindest look in her eyes and gives her some space…after uttering one of the best lines in this episode.

At the Clockmaker’s mansion, Hypnos is having trouble maintaining the city-wide sleep, and The Widows are running out of time. They threaten Poppy, but Tucker gets pissed because she’s his prize. Beth announces that someone’s awake, and Hypnos isn’t strong enough to knock them out…because it’s the goddamn Earp heir. Hypnos tries to tell them to run, but they insist they’re strong enough to stay and head out for someone for Beth to chew on.

Dolls is picking through the narcotics to find something to help them stay awake. The plan? Find whoever’s awake and have Peacemaker do the rest. Dolls passes out the drugs and ammo, and Wynonna sends her sister to find Doc. Dolls decides that Wynonna isn’t under enough stress and tells her that if people stay asleep too long, they won’t wake up.

20

COOL, THANKS

Wynonna enters the lab, looking for Jeremy, and she hears the indistinct whispering and feels the cold chill that means The Widows are nearby. Oh, and smells her mother’s/Willa’s perfume. She realizes that these bitches do, in fact, travel in two by two. She tries to fight them off and manages to remain alive, but that’s about it…because she also loses the location of the second seal to Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Waverly finds Doc, who is passed out in the nether regions of Boobs McSeltzer. After waking him up, she gives him the business about giving his hot mixologist the business, and Doc explains that he’s not the settling-down type. Doc makes it clear that he assumed Wynonna and Dolls were together, but Waverly assures him it was just coffee. Waves asks for something to give her a little jolt, and they head to the basement where Doc keeps the energy drinks and find a passed-out Jeremy…who wakes up and tells them that the second seal is in Shorty’s. Apparently, it was built the same year that the school was, and it was built on a former Masonic temple.

Doc easily moves the crate Jer-bear was struggling with, and the three of them peer into the void where the second seal is. Jeremy locates it and bravely dumps off the layer of what looks like…potato chips off of it? Nice one.

randyj

Ready, Randy? Ready, Joan.

Dolls finds a shaken Wynonna at the station, who insisted she had those “corseted bitches” where she wanted them. Then…Dolls notices that Wyn is doing her best Virgin Mary impression and is extremely with child. She confirms she’s, in fact, pregnant, and Dolls is shocked. She wanted to tell him, but just never found the right time. He tries to coddle her, but she’s having none of it, because pregnant or not, she can do her fucking job, Xavier. She insists nothing’s changed, but, voice breaking, Dolls tells her that everything’s changed…and he’s probably not talking about just the pregnancy.

In her cruiser, Nicole is guzzling Beaver Buzz (not a euphemism). She spies one of the Widows and radios Bacon Donut to tell her to head to the Clockmaker’s mansion. Dolls warns her about going in hot, but, you know, how could she not? Have you seen her?

daaamn

Bonus points for going in hot with Haught.

Dolls, Nicole, and Wynonna find Hypnos, who Dolls identifies as The Sandman. He explains that he was forced to help The Widows against his will. During his exposition, Nicole starts to feel not so Haught hot and passes out. If they kill him, everyone will die, including the three of them and the Heir Apparent. She threatens to bring the pain (in true Earp Sister fashion), but he agrees to cooperate if they help his daughter, Poppy, who Tucker has absconded with.

He tells them that The Widows seem to know him, but he has no memory of them. He mentions there are, in fact, three seals, not two, and Dolls finds Jeremy’s map — they’ve found the second seal. Angel Pants raises Bacon Doughnut on the walkie to warn her about The Widows, but it’s too late — they’re already there. Waves and Doc take up arms, and Jeremy menacingly raises the walkie. So it’s two against two, then.

The Widows enter from the back, surprising the trio. They do their best Mr. Freeze impression and coat our heroes in frozen air, knocking them over.

snow

No, Jeremy, I do not want to build a fucking snowman.

Wynonna wakes up Nicole with a shot of adrenaline, and much to both of their delight, the officer is actually wearing her Haughtpants this time. Nicole wants to go after Waverly, but Wynonna needs her to somehow track down Tucker Gardner. Luckily, those instincts Nedley spoke so highly of led her to start illegally tracking his phone weeks ago. Wynonna’s impressed. Not as uptight of a flat-footed rookie as she originally thought.

phone

No, see, it’s called ClexaCon. Waverly and I already have our tickets. They’ve already announced Anna Silk. And Emily Andras! I think you’d like her.

Tucker’s at The Homestead, and Nicole takes off to deal with him. Wynonna sends Dolls off with her because keeping Nicole safe is one way to keep Waverly safe, and Waves would die if something happened to Nicole. Plus…Doc. They essentially kiss each other goodbye, and at that moment, the carefree, happy Dolls we’d seen during this episode disappears. He tells her she’s amazing, and then suddenly…he’s all Black Badge business.

As Doc, Waverly, and Jeremy do their best pre-sun Frosty impressions, The Widows are chanting away, trying to break the second seal. Jeremy wasn’t hit with the freeze breath the first time, so he’s able to get up, but before he can manhandle Doc’s gun (not a euphemism), he kicks an empty can of Beaver Buzz (definitely not a euphemism) and the Widows dispatch him.

Inside Waverly’s room, Tucker has made Poppy dress in Waves’ clothes and brush her hair with Waves’ brush. He tells her she’s doing it wrong, then suggests she put on the cheerleading uniform. Dolls and Nicole enter, and Dolls almost passes out, but Nic hears Poppy scream. I don’t know if you know this or not, but Nicole runs toward danger, so she rushes upstairs. She’s there in time to stop Tucker, and she even manages to shoot him a little bit before he says he did something else to anger the bustled ladies in black and dives out the window.

tuckk

But…aren’t you the one who’s supposed to get shot? The straight white guy shoots the lesbian, not vice versa. DAMN YOU, EVELYN ANDREWS.

Wynonna finds The Widows at the very end of their seal-breaking, and she and Peacemaker seem to hit one of them. The cold trio slowly wake up, and Doc tries to tell her that he let her have this one just to feel good about herself.

hair

How does pregnancy make both of their hair look better?

And then…Wynonna lets Doc see that she’s pregnant. This was one of the most powerful scenes in the whole episode, and it was one with the fewest words. So I won’t even try to do it justice by explaining it except to say he finds out…and then he runs. Because when you’re Doc freaking Holliday, that can mean good and bad things. They look at each other, terrified and teary-eyed, and he just…turns and leaves.

Hypnos fiddled with time so things are back to where they should be without all of the time passing. One hitch — the baby is still at its almost-ready stage, even though it shouldn’t be. I mean, that’s interesting, but I’m guessing we probably won’t even touch on why that is at all because it’s not important.

Hypnos asks to see his daughter before he goes back into hibernation, because like a sleeping bear, he’s harmless. Dolls has other ideas, though, and shoots him, because everything is all fun and games until someone else uses The Sandman.  He demands that she “do [her] job,” and she shoots him with Peacemaker. No more Mr. Nice Dolls.

At least Poppy managed to escape.

Wynonna leaves, and both of her men try to stop her, but this time, Waverly’s had enough. She tells them to leave her the fuck alone, and they agree (kind of), but Doc asks her to pass Wynonna a note when she thinks she’s ready to read it. Dolls leaves and Jeremy enters, asking what the haps are, yo. Waverly solemnly tells Jeremy that Wynonna is pregnant, something that apparently Jeremy knew all along.

At the Gardner estate, Mercedes is wincing from the bullet hole Peacemaker left in her. She’s worried about Wynonna, but before they can make a plan to take care of that, the doorbell rings. It’s a present from the salt flats — apparently Tucker did a Ring and Dip (is that what the kids say?) and leaves his “sisters” the present of (Sister) Constance Clootie’s head.

At the homestead, Wynonna and Waverly do some floor bonding. Waverly is all out of judgment and demands. This time, she just wants to know how her older sister is doing. Wynonna is angry — not just that she’s pregnant, but that this is one in a long line of things that she didn’t have a choice about. The Widows’ advancing of time stole from her much-needed time to accept the being growing inside her…and removed the choice of whether or not to keep the baby. It feels personal, because it always comes back to that damn Earp curse.

In a broken voice, Wynonna tells Waverly that she can’t do this. Wynonna, the woman who faces down demons on a daily basis, who survived killing her father and her sister, who deals with shit that would break us every single day — she’s reached her tipping point. And Waverly doesn’t tell her that it’s all going to be okay, because deep down, she knows that’s a lie. What she does say is that she’ll be there, as she wipes Wynonna’s tears away. She hands Wynonna Doc’s note, and Wynonna reads it and…falls apart even more. Waverly holds her sister, comforting her as she clutches the note in her hand, Peacemaker discarded. Because there are some problems even the badass chick’s gun can’t solve.

note

Such a perfectly Doc response.

I guess Doc Holliday found something that was worth of staying for.

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • Such a powerful episode, and not a coincidence that it was both written and directed by women.
  • That “powers that be” like really gave me Angel flashbacks…or flashbacks to The Powers that Be, a really great canceled-too-soon sitcom starring Valerie Mahaffey and Holland Taylor. Ahead of its time, that was.
  • The Earp sisters moments this week were so great. Obviously, sometimes they fight. They think differently about stuff. But above all of it — the pregnancy, the suitors, the girlfriends, the goo, and the sleepytime tea — they’ve got each other’s backs. And that’s the heart of this show.
  • “Nope” may not be a viable plan, but “Knope” would have been — just live your life as Leslie Knope would have.
  • I feel like it was a conscious writing decision to say “I’m off in 10 minutes” instead of “I get off in 10 minutes,” because queer Twitter probably would have imploded.
  • I love the exchange at the station between Nicole and Wynonna — which I have watched…a lot of times, and it really speaks to the writing and directing of this episode. You can feel how they feel about each other — a grudging affection, the teasing, the beginnings of a friendship that is reluctant on both of their parts, but necessary because of Waverly.
  • Waverly is negative-30 percent subtle in that scene in the station with the herbal tea. I think the only reason that Nicole doesn’t realize at this point that something is up is that she’s used to not understanding what the flippity-flop the sisters are talking about.
  • I see The Widows’ rings and I automatically think of Nicole’s rings and wonder if there’s a connection. Probably not, but Evelyn Andrews and Company make me think there is no such thing as a throwaway line or prop.
  • Beth said “our husbands favor,” which could either be “husband’s” or “husbands,'” and though the captions said “husband’s,” captioning isn’t always 100% reliable. So they could share a single husband or have disappointed two husbands simultaneously. So, thanks, grammar, for a possible puzzler!
  • In a further example that our sweet Waverly is back, her comforting Sister Mary Bloody Hands is very, very nice. She’s just such a good.
  • Dolls was SO EXCITED at the fact that all of his work responsibilities have imploded and he can finally be with Wynonna. He’s been a prisoner of his principles for so long — from the military, from BBD, from his own self-imposed values — that to finally even sniff a little bit of freedom from them just seems life-changing. It makes it all the more heartbreaking later when he steps up and…steps back, leaving room for Doc and doing what he believes is the right thing.
  • I’m not convinced that even though Black Badge is “no more,” the Scoobies’ blood oath is dissolved.
  • Jeremy’s crush on Doc is, A, adorable and, B, believable, especially when he asks if Doc wants a snack.
  • Nicole is such a strong character, but she’s so vulnerable and scared when she’s talking to Waverly about whether or not Waves was Waves when they were intimate. There’s a strength in being vulnerable, especially in asking what you want to know. Nicole is so in like Flynn to this relationship, and she needs to know if it’s real for her partner. And, thankfully…it is.
  • I LOVE that Mercedes checks her ass for a silver spoon.
  • “I’m the goddamn Earp heir, and I’ve got to tinkle.”
  • I thought this was a very clever way to advance time to explain why Wynonna was so pregnant.
  • I thought we were going to get a Dr. Hotpants/The Morrigan reveal of Nicole under the covers (and Waverly) and was a little disappointed…for about two seconds, until Dolls found her naked.
  • Love that Nicole’s first concern after finding out Wynonna is pregnant is whether or not Waverly knows. Also, I love this entire exchange. They’ve really taken the time to build the layers and layers of groundwork into the complicated relationship between the two of them, and the tiny pay-offs we get in each episode are so worth it.
  • The Widows had a very interesting reaction to Wyatt’s name.
  • Angel Pants and Bacon Doughnut are the best names for the Earp sisters.
  • I’m starting to think the perfume might be the Earps’ mother’s, not Willa’s.
  • If by “casual” you mean “I’m sleeping with her to get over my best-friend’s great-great-granddaughter,” then, yeah, super casual.
  • Dolls, someday you’ll learn to stop underestimating Wynonna.
  • Hi, if anyone with any influence in this show is reading this, could I please get one of those hats that Nicole is wearing? I’ll be at Dragon Con. K, thanks!
  • Nicole has grown so much as a character. Old Nicole would have wanted to play with the supernatural beasties and been pissed and felt excluded that she had to chase the human threat, Tucker. But I think Nedley’s talk really did a lot for her. She’s realizing there’s all types of ways to contribute to the team, and I think she also knows how big of a deal it is that Wynonna trusts her to deal with Tucker alone. Also a big deal? That Nicole trusts Wynonna enough to save Waverly. Just…all of the growth.
  • Dolls broke my heart in this episode. He steps up just as much as Doc does, but he does it by walking away.
  • Listen, this entire cast is absolutely fucking beautiful, and they prove to us that none of them is just a pretty face here. Everyone’s scenes when they find out Wynonna is pregnant is just so powerful and affected me so much. They hardly needed any words, and yet…we felt what they felt.
  • I wonder if/when we’ll see Poppy again.
  • What if Jeremy is a mind-reader or an empath of some sort?
  • Wynonna has been on two types of birth control since 13 and still got pregnant? Hmm. Definitely a possibility of something supernatural assisting in that pregnancy.

Favorite Lines:

  • Moody: Pitiful way for an elite operative to die, by not covering his own ass. Doc: Don’t talk about my partner’s ass.
  • Wynonna: Look, Waverly, my one boss just got her head blown off, and my other boss is a lizard. Or a tiny, super sexy dragon. Who knows? And still, always, there are the demons, so I cannot I cannot deal with this right now.
  • Wynonna: Hungry? Nauseous? Horny? No judgment. You’re a nun, not a saint.
  • Wynonna: Tough shit. It’s my decision who to tell and when and it’s my situation, and nobody gets to decide how to handle it but me. So stop pushing me, and while you’re at it, stop judging me.
  • Wynonna: I’m gonna need a bigger coat.
  • Nicole: Heaven help that gynecologist.
  • Waverly:  She’s too young for you. Doc: I’m older than the state of Colorado. Everybody’s too young for me.
  • Wynonna: Believe it or not, being pregnant doesn’t affect my ability to send evil shittickets screaming back to Hell. Nothing’s changed.
  • Hypnos: You refuse to follow the rules. It seems your offspring will be the same.

Monica’s Insane Theory:

I think the third seal is under the barn at the Homestead. Someone — Juan Carlo, maybe? — moved it to keep it hidden from The Widows. The ammonite keeps the Homestead safe from the Revenants, and now that it’s consecrated by The Order, it’s double protected. Plus, the goddamn Earp heir can protect it with Peacemaker.

Monica’s Final Thoughts:

Thanks for sticking with me for another Unnecessarily Long Recap. I hope you can tell, but I thought this episode was just the tits. I am excited to see where we end up in six more episodes, but no matter what happens, I am all in. See you next week!

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