You Can Tell Everybody That This Is Your Card

Happy anniversary, my love.

We’ve done a lot of walking and worn a lot of shoes in the six years we’ve been together, but these shoes from this day — always my favorite.

I’m sorry I didn’t get you a card. Did we have any idea when we got married what a whirlwind our lives would become? And that we would have no free time and be bad at planning stuff and basically be living life flying from one thing to the next? I certainly didn’t. “After this, things will calm down.” False.


I love that dress so much, and you looked so amazing. You look lovely every day, but that day really took the cake. And doughnuts. And cookies.

You have made my life so much better, and are so supportive of all of my fangirling, even if I’m not always the best about dividing my attention. You even agreed to a Star Wars theme for part of our special day. Who does that? You do. And you are amazing.

So I’m sorry that I didn’t get you a card, since my free time during the week was spent writing, doing pod prep, dealing with plumbing business, and trying to do laundry to prep for Iceland in the middle of our busiest season at work. And also reading fanfic, because please see above regarding “bad at dividing my attention.” And then on the weekend, we hate to spend any time apart, because we are those people.

You made a day I was sort of low-key dreading because my father wouldn’t be there one of the best days of my life. He would have loved you.


He would have loved your sass, your wit, and, most importantly, your all-encompassing love for his daughter, the giant nerd.

And he probably would have wondered how I landed such a hottie.


I also wonder that.

You’re my protector, my biggest fan, my best girl, and my occasional makeup artist.


So I’m sorry our lives were so hectic that I didn’t get you card, but I hope this blog will do.

We’ve certainly had our share of rain, but there’s no one else I’d rather be under the umbrella with.


Here’s to the next two…hundred.0937

I belong with you, you belong with me. You’re my sweetheart.1091



Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

I am 40 years old.

I am married (for almost two years) to a lovely woman who I’ve had a crush on for almost half of my life.


I live in a world where my sexual orientation is a boring statement of fact that isn’t really a thing…or at least I think it is, until someone makes it otherwise.

I started coming out gradually, at 19, first between wrenching sobs to my freshman-year RA, saying that I might be gay. She was the first I told about these swirling, confusing feelings that were only amplified by the roommate (let’s call her N) I had fallen for. I stared at a bottle of Advil, wondering if taking the entire bottle would be enough to put me out of my misery, and I found the strength to put it down, knock on Jen’s door, and just…come out with it.

Continue reading

The Big Day, part 2

All pictures below are courtesy of the amazing Laura Kathleen Photography. If you need a photographer, look her up. She was part of what made our day so amazing. Laura, if you’re reading this, I’m still sorry you didn’t have time to eat dinner and you had to take it to go. I blame the hotel.

Guys. Remember how I got married last year? I’m biased, but I definitely think our wedding and reception is probably the best wedding I’ll ever attend in my entire life, or that anyone will attend in any lifetime. But maybe I’m biased.

I woke up early that day and couldn’t sleep because of excitement. I walked down to a coffee shop — our event coordinator’s suggestion and one of the few positives about her — and got us breakfast. The rest of the morning is a blur, quite honestly. The only standout to me is when I stood, naked, in front of the sink in our kitchen and ate leftover wings from the night before. And, yes, Chris still married me.

Chris, Amy, and I all kind of got ready together. Chris did my makeup, and she and Amy did their own makeup and got their hair done. Dawn did my hair, too, but it seriously took about 30 seconds. Chris’ hair looked amazing. If you have a special day needing special hair, give Salon Sartori a try.

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Photographing proof of me wearing makeup. Also, look how awkward I am when just holding Chapstick!

Then my mom came and hung out with me while the girly people took 17 hours to get ready. And Laura took some shots of our jewelry, our clothes, and my mom and I trying to overcome our awkward German nature and touch each other.

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Then…it was time. Time to marry my most favoritest person in the world. If you’d like to know my feelings about that, please see the picture to the above left.

To be continued!

The Eve of the Big Day

I know, I know. I’m moving in reverse. I know I live-blogged about the day before our wedding, but I left out a lot of stuff, like about the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.

Oh, and — as Chris just reminded me — how our sink exploded that morning.

Okay, I’m being dramatic. There was a leak and a bit of a mess, right before we were leaving to begin our prep day. We looked at each other and realized there really wasn’t much of anything we could do at that point other than clean it up, have minimal use of the sink, ask our friends who were checking on Graham to make sure nothing fell apart, and hope for the best.

(Nothing fell apart, and all is well.)

We got our nails done, did a bunch of prep with some friends and family, and then went upstairs to get ready for our rehearsal and also some cookie dropoff.

(Guys, our cookie table was epic, and that isn’t an exaggeration, but you’ll have to wait to see that for yourselves in a post or two).


Sister-in-Law Amy demonstrating how to sit down or something, I guess.

Continue reading

The Big Day, part 1

I don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but I did get married last October.


This is how I felt about it.

It was the best day of my life. Not an exaggeration. I wish I could have bottled up the feeling and sipped on it slowly when stress and doubt and other generic badness entered my life in the weeks and months after.

I live-blogged the day before the wedding, and it the room and person prep we did on our wedding eve. It’s fun to go back and read about the day that I didn’t know what Oxford heels were.

Like I said, our wedding was amazing. It was beautiful, touching, meaningful, amazing, and all sorts of other positive adjectives. The road leading up to it had a few bumps in it, though. I’ll mention a few of them briefly, and then I’ll get to the good stuff.

Continue reading


Marriage equality, bitches!

Ahem. Excuse me.

Today, the Supreme Court ruled that marriage equality is the law of the land. No more gay marriage ban.

All of the gay marriage!!

  Eh, close enough.

I made the mistake of reading some internet comments, and that brought me down a little bit. I’m getting tired of reading that gay marriage will be the downfall of us as a society, that it will bring the apocalypse, that it’s immoral and it should be illegal. Those are what are called opinions, not facts. Believing homsexuality is wrong is just that — a belief. I am entitled to marry Chris, and the fact that we are two women shouldn’t — and now won’t — stand in our way.

And to those people who think it’s a choice, I encourage you to change your sexuality. Go ahead. I’ll wait. I hear it’s easy.

In the sage words of a true visionary, “There’s only one true judge, and that’s God. So chill and let my father do His job.”

  “Preach, Salt-N-Pepa,” says Graham.

Chris and I have 120 days until we get married (!!!), and I have to say, knowing the bans have been struck down is a good feeling. Nope. Great feeling.


 We can do it did it!


Today Pennsylvania became the 19th state to allow gay marriage.

As I read different Facebook posts and the messages my friends and family were sending me, I felt very lucky to be me in this life.

I cried multiple times — when I got the text saying “love wins,” when I texted Chris to tell her the news, when her cousin referred to me as the love of Chris’ life, when I talked to my mom and, after telling me how happy she was, she mentioned a friend of hers called to say how happy she was. All of them. I cried all of the times. At work. In the bathroom at work. At my desk at work. You get the picture.

Part of me wants to get a license and get married RIGHT NOW, before they can take it away.

I’m realistic enough to think that this isn’t it, that there will be some sort of opposition. But I’m optimistic enough to think think Pennsylvania will come out on the right side of history, and come next fall, these ladies will be good-naturedly complaining about the hassle of getting a marriage license…and look super cute doing it.


Pins and Needles

A decision on gay marriage in Pennsylvania is expected today. I’m simultaneously nervous and excited. It’s like I felt before my first date with Chris — excited that it could be awesome but nervous that it would go poorly.

Here is my obligatory Whole30 picture of today’s breakfast. So delicious.

I signed up for a text alert for the decision, so I’ll be anxiously checking my phone all day.

I have to go do something, or I’m going to drive myself crazy. Have a good day, everyone, and send positive gay thoughts toward the Keystone State.

Random Friday Thoughts

• There aren’t a whole lot of “quick” Whole30 options, but thankfully Chipotle is one of them. Granted, my lunch only vaguely resembles my normal meal (salad with carnitas, guac, and extra pico vs. chicken bowl with rice, veggies, pico, corn, and cheese), but it’s still delicious, just in a different way. Fresher and not as rich, maybe?

• I have had scrambled eggs for 15 days in a row, and I’m nowhere near getting sick of them. Special thanks to co-worker Linda for homemade Whole30-compliant salsa, which is delicious on them.

• I have eaten more avocados in the past 15 days than probably in my whole life combined. The one pictured above is pretty sad-looking.
• We are selling a bunch of stuff at a yard sale tomorrow. One of Chris’ aunts lives in an area that is having a community yard sale, and she kindly agreed to let us set up a table. Unfortunately, I got the dates mixed up in my head and thought it was next weekend, so I’m not as prepared as I would like. But I never am because I have impossibly high prep standards.
• I have never had a yard sale. This should be interesting.
• I had to go shopping for food to bring with us because her aunt very kindly agreed to let us spend the night. We don’t want to get caught with our Whole30 pants down.
• Therefore, I will be breaking my scrambled-egg run. Egg “muffins” with sausage from our meat CSA will stand in. They are a worthy sub.
• Gay-marriage decision any day now, PA. Any. Day.
• Got to see Chris a little bit extra last night and this morning, so that was nice.

Off to work. Ready for the end of the day! We have some pricing to do!

Come on!

Short post today. I’m on a quick break at work — because 10:15pm is the ideal time for a lunch break — and have some random thoughts.

The possibility of marriage equality for Pennsylvania is a very real and tangible thing. The thought of it makes me anxious and happy and emotional and angry all at the same time. Anxious because I want it to hurry up. Happy because marriage. Emotional because holy crap. Angry because why so long?

I’m not perfect, but I deserve the right to get married. You may think it’s a sin, and that’s fine. Let God deal with that. You live your life how you see fit, and I’ll do the same.

“You” as a general term, because I’m pretty sure most readers of this blog are Facebook friends and would have unfriended me by now if you really had a problem with me.

Today’s random Whole30 thoughts today. This was my breakfast.

Delicious. And it caused Frank’s Red Hot to follow me on Twitter, so that’s pretty awesome.

I’m feeling good. Some cravings but doing okay. Much better than expected. So much so that I’m afraid I’m doing it wrong. Maybe I should have a little more faith in myself.

Anyway, say a prayer to your god/goddess of choice or just send warm thoughts toward the efforts to strike down Pennsylvania’s gay-marriage ban. I’m ready for a decision. I wonder which one will make me cry harder.

Probably the legalization, because…happy. Lots of happy. Snotty, sobbing happy.

Fingers crossed!