Holding Out for a Hero

Hello, friends. As you probably know about me, sometimes I can’t help but get songs stuck in my head when I’m thinking about TV shows I love. Lately, Supergirl has been bringing up one of my favorite ’80s power ballads, but the words haven’t seemed exactly right to me lately, so I went ahead and made up my own.

If you’re not familiar with the song, you should listen to it because it’s whatever the kids say a good song is these days (a bop? a banger? runaway pop hit?). You can listen to the original or, for Supergirl bonus points, you can sing along to Melissa’s version of it from Glee, which features some of the best cape tricks I myself have ever seen, not to mention lovely vocals and whip tricks from Becca Tobin.

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Where have all the women gone

Where’s the cunning Artemis to fight the men and their stories?

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Isn’t there a genius working in a lab?

Late at night I toss and I turn

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I need a hero

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I’m holding out for a hero who can rip off her specs

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She’s gotta be strong

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And she’s gotta be fast

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And she’s gotta be smarter than Lex

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I need a hero

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I’m holding out for a hero who can also be soft

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She’s gotta be firm

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And she’s gotta have hope

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And even better if she lives in a loft

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Lives in a loft

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Somewhere deep in L Corp Lena’s working in a lab

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She’s saving the world every day

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Flying over on a bus and tall buildings she can leap

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Too late, Superman, she’s already been swept off of her feet

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I need a hero

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I’m holding out for a hero who can rip off her specs

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She’s gotta be strong

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And she’s gotta be fast

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And she’s gotta be smarter than Lex

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I need a hero

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I’m holding out for a hero who can also be soft

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She’s gotta be firm

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But she’s gotta have hope

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And even better if she lives in a loft

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I need a hero

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It’s not just Supers and Luthors

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I could swear there is someone, somewhere

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Through the misogynistic storylines I just miss my strong girls

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It’s called “Supergirl,” after all, not “Clutch Lex’s Pearls”

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We need some heroes

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You gave us these strong female characters

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I need a hero

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She’s gotta treat Lena and try and unpack

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I need a hero

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We’ve got to get more of her saving the day

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I need a hero

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She’s gotta spend time with her girlfriend again Dressed to the nines and ready to stun

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I need a hero

 

Well, friends, I hope this brought you as much joy as it brought me to write it. If this made you smile or brought some joy to your life, consider buying me a Ko-fi and keep me in Lakehawks merch.

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