Hello, friends and fellow Lenasexuals. It’s been a while. But I’m here now, and isn’t that all that matters?

I have a lot of thoughts on Lena from this season, from her suits to her boxes, but I’m just going to do a quick Lenacap of last week’s episode, 4×15, “O Brother Where Art Thou,” AKA the episode in which we met Lena’s dad father elder uncle grandpa extremely older brother, Lex. Man, it’s like Supergirl said, “Wow, we haven’t had a condescending white guy be a prick in a while, so what could we do?” Well done on that account, I guess, but to no one’s surprise, a lady is the one who bears the brunt of his assholery.

You can probably see where this is going, but let’s go there anyway, shall we?

We open on the four-years-ago Luthor siblings as Lex gloats about — you know what? Who cares. Lex is being a dick by somehow introducing the world to a red sun and killing random people, and Lena just wants him to fucking chill out, because Lena Luthor Is A Good Person. Step aside, straight white guy. No one cares. Especially Lena. At least she looks good.

You can tell it’s a flashback because her eye makeup isn’t as sharp.

Just have you and Superman pull them out and measure, Lex. Isn’t that what this is really about?

So now Lex is being eaten alive by kryptonite cancer or something and was granted a mercy furlough to see his sister. That…seems unlikely, but whatever. What we do find out is that Lena has been talking to him for at least six weeks, and Lex apparently pulled some strings to get her in with the DEO. Whatever, dude. She could have done it herself. Anyway, he wants her Harun-El, but Lena isn’t ready to save him yet. Plus, it isn’t ready and could maybe kill him. I mean, we all have to take risks. That’s just one of them.

Me when I’m expected to believe Jon Cryer

is an appropriate age to play Lex Luthor in this universe.

We get a condescending interaction with Lex and Eve, designed just to throw us off the fact that she’s been in his skull cap for years, and Eve tells Lena James has been shot. So of course Lena rushes to the hospital and gratefully embraces…Kara, who she was so worried about.

Um, why are we all here again? Oh, right. James.

Lena starts to spiral as she starts a “don’t they know who I am” huff, and Brainy reminds her of her boxes. Er, so to speak.

Alex finds Lena waiting outside of James’ hospital room and encourages her to summon a scientific breakthrough through “sheer force of will,” which of course she does. But let’s focus on the important things about this scene.

 

Gay.

Alex believes in Lena. Period. Full stop. The woman who used to spend holidays alone, working, has the director of the DEO telling her that she is extraordinary.

Alex encourages Lena to try and find “another resource,” and for some reason, we’re supposed to believe that Lex is the key to her figuring out the Harun-El. Okay, sure. Whatever. I’ll give you a pass on this one because Lena is about to put on The Suit and I just want to get there. Lena tells Lex she doesn’t trust him, but she needs him, and I managed not to throw up in my mouth, so let’s cut our losses and move on, shall we?

Ever since they were kids, Lex has told Lena she was an idiot, and that has driven her to be a better person, so that’s what he’s doing here. Oh, Lena. Lena, Lena, Lena. You are so much better than this. You’ve never stood behind a man, so why are you letting one pull your strings and lead you where he wants you to go? The show is really showing us one of Lena’s few weaknesses as a human. She knows she’s the smartest person in the room, and she’s right every single time. But she has a blind spot when it comes to her biological family in that she’s always seeking their approval while simultaneously feeling like she never deserves it, all the while feeling like she can never be truly good because she’s a Luthor.

Seriously, did prison age you like 40 years?

And Lex is smart enough to capitalize on it, then takes credit for all of her successes, like most mediocre men. I’m getting angry. Let’s see her again, shall we?

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Oh, and then he compliments her and says he’s proud of her, which is just another attempt to manipulate her, really. Kara’s Kryptonite may be, well, Kryptonite, but Lena’s is her never-ending search for familial approval…and the lack of realization that she doesn’t need it.

Big Harun-El Energy.

Oh, and then we have another misleading scene where Eve tries to “convince” Lena that it’s a bad idea to work with Lex. Eve, you are communism, and this is a red herring.

Lena, with Lex’s help, figures out the Harun-El, and I have no problem believing that Lena can bioengineer a cure for everything out of mysterious alien black rock. What I have an issue with is that she needed Lex to do it.

Lena’s sad because James is in surgery and she can’t help him, and then Lex tells her some story about a douchily named dog named Ignatious how he met her mother once and she was nice, and while all of the Luthors are a trash fire, Lena comes from a good person. And because apparently Lena has turned into a human who can’t do anything without her brother’s influence, she races off to the hospital to be with her ex, an ex who she says she broke up with because she didn’t want him to find out she’d been working with Lex, but in my mind, she just realized she could do better. Potato, pot-tah-to.

If I go to the hospital, does that mean I have to see James again,

or can I just hang out with the Danvers sisters?

Sweet lesbian Jesus, look at that eye makeup.

At Lex’s prompting (barf), Lena busts into James’ operating room, ignoring all scientific and medical protocols, tells everyone to leave or they’re fired, and injects James with the Harun-El as Alex and Kelly (Ally? Kelex? AgentOlson?) look on. I mean, I guess she’s saving him anyway with her magic serum, but could she have stopped for 30 seconds and washed her hands and put on a mask?

Anyway, whatever. She saves him. I just hope that one of the side effects of Harun-El is that you don’t attempt to date people who are better than you.

And then we find out that Lex has been playing his sister like a fiddle all along. He had James shot so she would finish the serum AND test it out on him, all so Lex could have it injected into himself and he could escape his creepy mansion compound. Oh, and Secret Double Agent Eve Tessmacher has been working with him all along, which I guess includes when she worked for Cat Grant at Catco? Uh, okay. I guess that’s one way to play the long game. Maybe Lex is the one who told Lena to buy Catco in the first place? Except LENA LUTHOR HAS NEVER STOOD BEHIND A MAN.

Me at their attempts to make Lena appear weak.

So Lex Luthor, who hates at least Kryptonians, if not all aliens, with every fiber of his being, is relying on alien tech to keep him alive? Alien tech that’s been morphed into a serum that only his sister could figure out? You’re not the man of tomorrow, Lex. You’re the boy of yesterday. Sit down.

So this show has taken the “healthiest” familial relationship that Lena has, which is with her sociopathic brother who has tried to kill her multiple times, and made it so he not only double-crossed her but he took one of her friends/most trusted coworkers with him. And this is after introducing us to this human piece of garbage and then gifting him a lighthearted romp at the end of the episode where he gleefully uses his supervillain toys to kill a bunch of people…all while Lena lay unconscious, chained to a wheelchair, with Eve standing guard. Careful, Supergirl. You’re walking a fine line (again) in a show that’s supposed to support women, not beat them down and use their misfortune to further the storyline of a guy.

Random Thoughts of Randomness:

• Whose strings is Lex pulling? The president’s?
• I am amused that Lena doesn’t go for “he’s my ex” and instead chooses “I own this hospital” as the reason she should be able to see James. But I guess that tracks. Also, is there a business in town Lena Luthor doesn’t fucking own? I suspect she came up with the recipe for the sticky buns at Noonan’s and probably also owns the gym she and Kara were spinning in. And I’ve also heard she owns the National City Lakehawks.
• Lena totally knows Kara is Supergirl, what with her “Supergirl is the one who saved you; you should be thanking her.” I see you, Lena. I see you.
• The Eve reveal was equal parts completely expected and so fucking shocking that I clutched my gay pearls. It had been in my mind all along that she could be evil, but honestly, Andrea Brooks’ portrayal was so honest and sincere and lovely, I just decided I was being paranoid. How could Eve be anything but good, like Lena?

The Danvers Sisters, Kelly Olson, and Nia Nall Corner:

• What if Alex “finds out” that Kara is Supergirl because Kelly tells her? You know, because James is Kara’s “best friend.”
• Also, James is not Kara’s best friend. It’s Lena. Get it together, Alex.
• Kara not being at the hospital probably just feels like the last thing in a long line of her not being there for her sister. Because Alex doesn’t remember Kara rushing out on mashing the potatoes in her Supergirl uniform; she just knows she wasn’t there. This storyline has been really interesting and heartbreaking and shows us all just how important these sisters are to the fabric of this show, and I’m ready to Tara Maclay it all and skip to the end now and have them be happy.
• I’m so happy to meet an Olson that I don’t automatically hate.
• Is it weird that I expected Kelly to call James “Jimmy”?
• The second best thing about this episode was the Nikazie Instagram live after it ended.

And, because I love you all, have some Bonus Suit.