Richmond Visit, part 3

Well, Graham didn’t destroy the house.

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Where’s my ball, bitch?!

We woke up, packed our stuff, and headed to breakfast. Well, by the time we got there, brunch. Kristin was woken up by her Graham clone early in the morning and did some research on a different place since the one in Petersburg was heartbreakingly closed.

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Couldn’t find one of him so here’s another of Graham. Imagine longer hair that’s orange all over. It’s Romeo!

Holy crap, this place was amazing. And one of the owners was a Steeler fan. Karma led us here.

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Karma made me an omelet and the best damn biscuits I’ve ever had for breakfast.

Everything was so good, including Chris’ sausage gravy and biscuits she’s been wanting since yesterday. The only bad thing about it was the piece of glass she found in it.

Yep. Glass. In gravy.

After reassuring herself that this wasn’t “southern style,” we asked our waitress for more coffee and mentioned there was a giant chunk of glass in the gravy. She was (understandably) mortified and very worried that someone cut themselves. We reassured her all was well — and that we would continue with our meals after a quick glass check — and she filled our coffees (priorities!) and told the kitchen what happened (within our full view).

“Sorry!” with a hand wave.

Well, hope you checked out the rest of the gravy, but whatever.

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Danger inside! Also sausage.

Other than that little misstep, everything was super delicious. And Chris had this fun mug with words of wisdom.

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Also from the glass factory.

We went to pay and I struck up a conversation with the German cashier wearing a soccer shirt. “They’re my team!” she told us proudly. She rang us up (minus glassy gravy) and asked, “You are military, right? No? Well, I’ll give you the discount anyway.”

YEAH!

We got home a little bit ago. It took longer than we planned, partially because of an accident in Winchester. But the company and the drive were lovely, and though I was sad to be back to reality and leave my poor friend IN THE SOUTH, I’m happy to be home with this giant cat. Also, she had NFL Sunday Ticket, so she’ll be just fine.

Plus, she and Chris kept ganging up on me and teasing me. Uncool. In their defense, I’m really easy to make fun of because I take it so seriously. But this morning, I had had enough.

I flicked my hand dismissively at Chris’ plate. “Eat your glass.”

Hilarity ensued.

Richmond Visit, part 2

Well, Kristin apparently didn’t care that we visited because she was gone again today.

Okay, that’s a lie. We knew she wouldn’t be free (volunteering training because she’s one of those people who tries to make the world a better place), but we have so few free weekends, we kind of had to stick with this one. Chris and I were once again left to our own devices.

We got up earlier today (and scared the crap out of Kristin when she walked out of her room and unexpectedly saw two lesbians on her couch) and made our way to find breakfast. But the glorious place we wanted to try was closed for vacation.

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I don’t care if “Lincoln” filmed here! I just want some breakfast!

We made our way to Demolition Coffee, and they were out of sausage gravy. By this point, Chris is very sad. But their coffee was delicious, and we had a nice time.

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Two thumbs up for my breakfast burrito.

Then we wandered around Petersburg until we couldn’t take the heat anymore, so around four minutes. Not really. We saw more of Old Town with our hot, hot coffees.

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Taking a break at the courthouse, like we do.

Afterwards, we drove to a place I found on Roadside Attractions, which was a house made of old tombstones.

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Bricks are for pansies.

It wasn’t a place you could tour, much to my surprise. I think it was a private residence. Can you imagine? “Which is yours again?” “Oh, the one made out of Union soldiers’ tombstones.”

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“O…kay.”

When Kristin came home, we went into the city and got a tour of where she works splicing genes together to create a superior race (or something equally important — Whatever). Then we took a walk around the canals. We saw some nice water, fun bridges (but nothing compared to Pittsburgh), interesting artwork, and 37 gallons of sweat drip to the pavement because it was so hot.

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We picked up dinner, had some wine, and watched “The Notebook.” You know, like the ladies do.

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A fleeting moment of happiness before Ryan Gosling ruins it all.

It’s back to Pittsburgh tomorrow. It will be nice to see Graham (and everyone else) but not looking forward to reality. Having a great visit and have possibly lost up to 10 pounds through sweating.

(That last part is unconfirmed.)

Richmond Visit, part 1

I mean, we are only halfway into the trip, so I assume there will be more parts.

Thursday morning Chris and I left Pittsburgh and headed south to Virginia to visit one of my friends from college. We lived across the hall from each other for a semester, had a class together (that we seldom attended because the teacher was so confusing, and I ended up having my dad teach me calculus), and were in the same sorority. (Yes. A sorority. Don’t laugh.)

Over the years, we kept in touch and saw each other sporadically, much less often than we should have. But she came to my birthday celebration this year and then to a show…and then up and moved to Virginia like a loser because she is super smart and has an important job and stuff. But…Virginia.

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WTF is this crap?!

Google Maps decided we should take the scenic route, and we did part of the drive on Route 40. It was pretty and interesting and very lucky that I drove, since I get carsick.

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Take me home, country roads…

We stopped at an Arby’s that literally had the most disgusting bathroom I’ve ever seen. I wrote a Yelp review about it. It looked like someone had a poop explosion, realized it, threw up because it was so gross, then simply walked out without cleaning anything up.

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Please enjoy this super-cute kitten that’s available for adoption at Petco in Bethel Park. Allow its adorableness to soothe you.

We finally made it to Kristin’s apartment and had a delicious dinner. She and Chris made fun of me because I felt tipsy after one beer. Whatever. I’m a lightweight. Which should be biologically impossible because of girth, but whatever.

She was supposed to have today off but ended up having to work because she has some type of important job, so Chris and I were left to our own devices. We walked around her town for a bit but then had to stop because it was approximately 126 degrees with 300% humidity. I may have to butter up my hands to get my rings off.

We had a delicious German lunch, saw some cool old stuff, and I took a picture to set up Sunday’s Dick LeBeau Facebook post. Yes, it takes that much preparation.

Kristin finished saving children from fires (or whatever she does) and we had dinner at a local brewery. Food and beer were spectacular.

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OMG, we are so attractive. We have aged well. All that clean living.

We have another full day tomorrow and half of Sunday left. It’s been very relaxing (sleeping in!), hilarious (lots of “do you remember when…”), sweet (why didn’t we hang out more in Pittsburgh? She’s lovely), and bittersweet (it’s nice to talk to someone who knows what it’s like to lose a parent and know the same struggles you have, but it also sucks because it means they’ve lost a parent).

We have both had some not-so-great times, and it’s very heartwarming to see us now because we are both so happy. I wish I could time-travel back and tell our past selves about this part, because it does get better.

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For instance, I had this cider, and it was great. Also, I wore this cool shirt.

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Additionally, I’m marrying this lady.

Tune in tomorrow for more adventures!