Yinzers of the Caribbean — live blog of the pre-trip activities

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Tomorrow, Chris and I leave for vacation with Chris’ family. We are heading for the Caribbean, guys!!

But it’s never easy. Never easy. So, a bunch of people’s birthdays were entered incorrectly, and, as you can imagine, this is making it difficult to check in with the airline. This shit drives me bananas, and I am so grateful that Chris is here to calm me down. 

PS — our travel agent is awful. And not helpful. If you’re considering booking an Apple vacation, contact me for my “do not call” list. 

The list consists of one name. 

So, I’ll be randomly live-blogging our getting ready and airport adventures. And there will be a bonus live blogger — my SIL Amy will be taking care of the NC portion, because sometimes yinzers move out of state. 


Amy and her beloved. He’s pretty dreamy. 

4:09pm — after leaving work early because of a ticketing issue and running a couple of errands, we are home. Chris has called and talked to three people about this, and there’s no solution. We just have to hope it’s fixed tomorrow when we check in. 

7:34pm — a class in packing by the master, my lovely wife. And gems like “When you have big boobs, this shit is real.”

7:58pm — Graham has received his second shouting, courtesy of the packing genius. 

9:49pm — break for ice cream and “Wynonna Earp.” It should be whiskey and doughnuts, but I have an early flight. For real, though, if you haven’t watched it, you should, especially if you are a fan of the gays and/or genre TV. It’s. So. Good. That’s going to be another blog post in and of itself that’s forthcoming.

12:37am — still awake and need to be up in less than two hours. Finishing up packing and listening to the “Wynonna Earp” fan hangout. More proof that my wife is awesome, since she hasn’t even watched the show yet. We would have fit everything into one suitcase if there weren’t a weight limit!

2:40am — awake. I swear. 

NC UPDATE

2:00– The alarm goes off and it takes me a minute to figure out what’s going on. The good news is that I was actually able to sleep for a few hours! I hit snooze and pretend to go back to sleep.

2:01-2:08– I pretend to sleep while I have a sort of dream about a giant tortoise carrying a box turtle safely across a street on its back. 

2:09– I give up on pretend sleeping and decide not to try to figure out what made these turtles so special that they were being cheered across the road by all humans in the vicinity. I have a text message from the airline that the flight is on time! 

2:18– Another text message from the airline. The flight is still on time. Phew. I got worried for a minute. Hopefully in another ten minutes, I’ll get another reminder. (To be fair, the first message could have been sent hours ago. I didn’t check the time stamp.)

2:23– I packed my face wash, and don’t feel like digging it out of the suitcase, so I use this imposter travel-sized face wash in my cabinet. It claims to be morning fresh, but it really just smells like a grainy, orange-flavored cough syrup I used to take when I had a cough. 

2:28– I now have the “riding backwards on a pig, baby monkey” song in my head for no apparent reason. If you know what I’m talking about, I apologize that it is now in your head. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please check it out: 

https://youtu.be/5_sfnQDr1-o

2:52– Everything by the front door and ready to leave! I found that the poor fish had his light on still and now he thinks it’s morning. Go back to sleep, fish, you’re drunk. Waiting for my taxi to wake up. 

3:11– In the priority line with Aunt Deb and Sarah. Hopefully I’ll be able to check in with them because I’m traveling with them and won’t be kicked out into the “not special” line. 


PGH

3:21am — the moon looks really cool, but when Chris said something about it, I responded with, “That’s no moon.”

3:31am — detoured bc of construction and almost taken out by a tractor trailer. Awesome. 

3:28– American Employees have arrived and are opening things up! 

3:33– The first people in line have been helped. We’re next! 

3:35– More employees have arrived! 

3:43– Out of bag check and headed toward security! Things went smoothly. Aunt Deb is TSA pre-check, but Sarah and I are not! 

3:49– Sarah was told she could go to Pre-check with her mom, but I made it through security before them. They are almost through and we will be ready to sit and wait. And wait. And wait. Starbucks appears to be open. 

3:57am — we are parked! Near 11G. Someone write that down. 

Shuttle-stop selfie! This is what one hour of sleep looks like. 

4:12am — sharing the shuttle with some Star Wars fans. The guy just quoted C3PO, and the kid has an R2D2 suitcase (like I do). 

4:20am — in the check-in line. Fingers crossed that it’s as easy as Amy’s!

4:19– They opened at 4:15. I was the first person in line. Ready to go!


4:26– SARAH AND I ARE TRAVELING WITH DOBBY THE HOUSE ELF!


5:04– On board, got to board with Priority passengers since I’m traveling with Aunt Deb. Sorry, Zone 4 passengers! A little kid was in my seat, so I’m across the aisle from my assigned seat. They moved him over there so he could sit with his siblings. Hopefully we’ll be off in the next twenty minutes. I can’t wait to eat breakfast in Charlotte. I’m starting to get hungry! 

5:55am — all through security, breakfast eaten, and waiting at the gate with 8 of Chris’ family members. One may or may not be drunk and is using a personal fan. She just said, “It’s short. It’s not long.” Yes. Definitely drunk. 

6:24am — so. Tired. Need to board so we can sleep. 

6:32am — boarding has begun, but we are in group four because we couldn’t check in online because the airline thought I was born in 1970, which I was not. So I checked my super-cute R2D2 carry-on. Be safe, little buddy! Bloop-bloop-beep!

6:45– Here we are in Charlotte. I got to sit in front of a family with 5 boys who were all under 7. There was a lot of screaming and arguing and children who wouldn’t sit down. I order a Bloody Mary at breakfast and am told they can’t serve alcohol until 7. I said, well then, I’ll just take the water for 15 minutes. 

6:57am — we are boarded! There was some sort of double booking situation going on. Scheduled to land at 8:30ish. Bye, yinz guys!

7:59 am– saving seats for our people at the gate.


8:16am — landed! The Bojus got in trouble for reclining their seats, Mary Ellen offered to buy me an 8am drink (I declined), and the old dude next to me manspread into my legs and armrest the entire flight. Despite an allergy pill, I only dozed for about 15 minutes. But I did have a delicious Coke, so at least there’s that. 

8:53am — the groups have joined, and the yinzers are almost complete!

9:01am — just me with some Hydes 

9:23am — hopefully the pilot is a better flyer than he is a talker, because he just mispronounced the name of our destination with a “I don’t know if that’s how you pronounce it.” Uh-oh. 

4:39pm — checked in. Exhausted. Many problems but happy to be here. Happy #YinzersOfTheCaribbean, folks!

Bar None

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Think about your happy place. You know, that place where you can be yourself, relax, do what you want, secure in the knowledge that everything is cool. Be you. The you that you’re meant to be. 

15-plus years ago — a lifetime, it feels like — the only place I felt that way was a bar. A dingy, dark, dank-looking place — by design, I later realized, to discourage people from coming in. A place Big Gay Tony dragged me to, in the hopes of finding me a lady. (He ended up going home with the only other guy in the dyke bar, of course, and this lady went home alone every time I went there.)

Honestly, it was pretty gross. It’s probably best I never saw it in the daytime. It was filled with mean girls, a different brand than I hated in high school but cliques all the same. I think maybe someon dealt cocaine out of the bathroom? Or maybe that was the one on Polish Hill. I remember one of my good friends (Caroline, whose calls I eventually stopped returning because girl was drama ALL THE TIME) had sex with her girlfriend in the bathroom. She thought she was so great, but…I just thought it seemed unsanitary. Oh, Monica. Never change. 

Even talking about it, we had a code. Those in the know. I jokingly said I thought a coworker was flirting with me a little — a bubbly blonde who seemed extra chipper when I was around. Just something about her pinged the gaydar. My work friends thought I was just seeing the world through rainbow-colored glasses. We found ourselves in the bathroom at the same time and struck up a conversation about our weekends — what we did, where we went, etc. “Dormont,” one of us said with knowing smile. “Me too,” said the other. And then we knew. 

My first attempt at flirting took place at this hole-in-the-wall — CJ…something or other. CJ Deighans? CJ’s, we called it, because who has time for last names? I met my first girlfriend there, who had a dog she named after the bar. (Oh, lesbians. Never change.) I met her through her ex, who Tony tried to introduce me to. Honestly, I think he just walked up to overweight girls about my age and tried to play the “Have…you met Ted?” game. You know, before it was cool. I dated that girl I met at that bar for a year and a half…and probably about 17 1/2 months longer than I should have. 

The only public place we ever were affectionate was that bar. 

Ever. 

Let that sink in. 

No touching. No hand holding. No kissing. No terms of endearment. Nothing. 

I called her “honey” once while getting into my car in her driveway. She looked like she wanted to throat punch me. 

She was also kind of awful. 

Can you imagine? Can you imagine your only safe place having floors sticky with beer, air heavy with smoke, dance floor packed with a full spectrum of women — lipstick and leather and basketball shorts and cargo pants — while the DJ with the killer arms played horrible music? Because lesbians love line dancing, apparently. 

And then imagine someone walks into your safe place, the one the extremely butch bouncer protects by just looking terrifying while she collects your five dollars, and starts shooting. 

Literally the only place you can be yourself is violated. 

Where can you feel safe? Where can you be normal when that’s taken away?

I’m a different person now. I don’t need a safe place. I’m my own safe place. I comfortably walk in a safe radius. I’ve changed, and so has the world, I guess. I’m better equipped if someone yells “hey, dyke!” at me, an occurrence that left me speechless at 24. But there’s less shouting these days. 

Everyone saves it for the comments section. 

Besides, if they’re staring now, it’s probably because of my hot wife. 

I don’t need that bar to hold my lady’s hand anymore, but I remember what it was like. I remember how it made me feel. 

If you never needed a bar to feel safe, you are lucky.

If you have never had to hide who you are, you are lucky. 

If you have never felt fear in doing normal things, you are lucky. Normal things like…

  • Holding someone’s hand
  • Checking someone out
  • Kissing your spouse
  • Using a public bathroom and you forgot your purse and/or are wearing a hat
  • Using a dressing room
  • Getting married
  • Choosing to wear non-gender-conforming clothing on any day, especially your wedding day
  • Having children

I guess I’m just trying to explain why this shooting is, for me, extra terrifying. Maybe explain it to you and to myself. 

15 years ago, that could have been me.

Except this time, I’m the lucky one…because it wasn’t. 

Honeymoon, part 4

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Friday morning, we hopped in the car and headed to the 17 Mile Drive, recommended by our guide book and ITMI Matt. Good call, both of you. 

17 Mile Drive winds through Pebble Beach (and includes the golf course, among other things). These were truly some of the most beautiful beach views I have seen on this (or any) vacation. I’ll let the photos mostly speak for themselves. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Beach views. 

  

  
  
  
  
  
#Chronica2015. 

  

#onica2015

  

  
  
My lovely wife. 

We headed to Cannery Row and dined at Cannery Row Brewing Company. Awesome waitress, awesome beer, and awesome food. 

  
Then we meandered a bit and shopped and looked out at the view, ending the day with some ice cream. 

   
    
 
Another successful day of honeymooning in the books!

Honeymoon, part 3

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Thursday, we were headed down the 1, so we watched the sunrise from the bedroom, packed up our car, hopped on the Golden Gate Bridge, and headed into the city by vehicle for the first time.

    
    
  
  
First, we headed to the Presidio for the part I was most excited about. Lucasfilm has an office there, and in addition to the lobby being open to the public, there was a Yoda fountain. Guys, Yoda is my favorite, and as most of the free world knows, I’m a huge Star Wars fan. I. Was. Stoked. And let me tell you — it didn’t disappoint.  

  
  
  
  
  
  
Can you believe I only posted a few that we took? So, Facebook friends, you have that to look forward to. 

Then we headed to Crissy Field to park, because last night’s Uber driver, Hoang, told us that was the only place in the city to park for free, which was great. What wasn’t great was that we didn’t know we couldn’t tip him through the app until after, so…sorry for being dicks, Hoang. 

We called another Uber (so fancy!) to take us to the Mission for brunch at Tartine bakery. Neither of us remembers how we heard about this place, but everyone we mentioned it to was so excited we were going. And everyone was right, as it was one of the best breakfast-type meals I have ever had. We split the Monte cristo and a coconut tart (recommended by Uber driver Leanna, who we DID tip) and each had a cafe au lait. 

  
  
  
So. Good. 

After our delicious brunch, we made our way to the Castro, where we met up with a friend of Chris’ from ITMI. He was so nice and suggested many things for us to visit while he squared away a friend who just got into town. We enjoyed all of the rainbows and some other random stuff, saw Harvey Milk’s old camera store/the current location of the HRC store, and got a yummy Philz Coffee. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
We didn’t end up getting a photo with Matt, which was sad. But next time!

So we Ubered back to our car, and I successfully navigated us out of town. Hooray!

We stopped at Half Moon Brewing for dinner, and it was spectacular. We saw the sunset from the car and finally got to our hotel in Monterey. 

  

  
  
  
Almost to Friday!

Honeymoon, part 2

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We planned on getting an early start Wednesday, but “early” ended up being around 11:00am. Hey, we are honeymooning. We should be relaxing. 

Before we started our day, we grabbed this photo for National Chocolate Day. 

  
We grabbed a quick breakfast and then hopped on ferry 5 in 24 hours. Joy. 

   
    
 
  

  
Beautiful views. 

  

‘Twas a little windy. 

  

Our treat? Breakfast ice cream from Humphry Slocumbe. 

  
Secret breakfast for the wife; candy cap for me; boats and bridges for everyone!

We fueled up with Blue Bottle coffee, and the guys working there were so nice. They gave us a ton of recommendations…none of which we used, but still. 

  
We headed into San Francisco and found the most important of all landmarks, the Fed. 

  

 My friend Kristin runs the Fed or whatever, and her boyfriend said this branch was nice, so when we passed by, I knew it was special.  
We walked around and touristed a bit, including Union Square, the financial district, and Chinatown. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The best cafe. 

  
For the assorted family who likes the Coach store. 

We popped in the store for ModCloth, where Chris got her wedding dress online. 

  
Then we headed to the Stinking Rose, famous for serving food with their garlic. Let me tell you — I love me some garlic. But…holy crap. When we finished, we stunk of garlic so bad, I had zero fears of vampires for the next seventeen days. The food was delicious, but the resulting burps and other assorted bodily functions were rough. For multiple days. Happy honeymooning. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
We stumbled in our garlic haze to a cable car and made our way to the waterfront. 

  
  
  
  
We went to this olden-timey arcade museum. People had a morbid idea about what was entertaining. 

 

    
 
  
  
We went into a candy store, where we found this gem. 

  
We hung out with the sea lions for a bit and then took our first Uber ride back to the house, like big-city folk. It was an awesome but tiring day!

Honeymoon, part 1

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“Honeymoon? What about the wedding?” you say? Yes, the wedding happened. And it was wonderful. Magical. Perfect. Amazing. And I’m still trying to process all of it. So that will be a bit later. 

Sunday night, after doing a hasty load of laundry, packing up everything we thought we would need for two weeks, and jumping in the car with SIL Amy, we headed to my friend Sarah’s hotel by the airport. It was super nice! We were sad to only spend about five hours in it, what with our 6am flight and all. 

  

  
In addition to identifying the bag to me, it lets potential thieves know there is nothing worth stealing inside. 



The flight was good. There was more than McDonald’s open that early, a change from most early-morning flights I’ve taken, so we dined on tasty breakfast burritos…that didn’t end up making me sick, despite my anxiety that 5am chorizo was maybe a bad choice. 

  
We managed to wake up long enough to snap this photo. 

Then we landed,  got a Peet’s Coffee, grabbed our luggage, located our rental-car shuttle, and made our way to the hotel which housed Sixt. I was a little nervous because I was unfamiliar with the company, but they were great. They had the car we reserved (the European gentlemen after us weren’t so lucky and were dissatisfied with the replacement she offered because “I drive a Volvo every day”), the staff was extremely friendly, and it was less expensive than the “traditional” rental-car companies where we couldn’t reserve a specific car. So after a quick tutorial (“how do we open the trunk?”), we were on our way. 

  
We look pretty good for seven hours of sleep in two days. 

No one else had the top down because it was kind of chilly, but you can’t rent a VW Beetle convertible and not put the top down as soon as you get in. 

We made our way to the house in Sausalito, our home until Thursday, which meant we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge. 

  
It was so cool, I forgot to be terrified. 

Then through the Robin Williams tunnel. 

   
Featuring rainbows!

We settled into the house, which is owned by the in-laws of my friend Raven. Who I’ve never technically met. Who I know from blogging. About a wedding to someone else that never happened. Could the only reason for dating someone else be that Chris and I had this lovely home to stay in on our honeymoon? Maybe. Worth it. The house was gorgeous, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to stay there. Such an amazing experience. 

We left our car and walked to the town, a mistake we would never make again. “It’s .3 miles. How far could it be?” Pretty far down the winding hills, and even further up. My Fitbit clocked us at 7.72 miles that day, and keep in mind that we were on a plane for five-plus of those hours. I finally stopped wearing it because we are supposed to be relaxing!

We went to a little restaurant for fish tacos and beer, one of the best choices we made that day. 

  
Yasss. 

We walked around Sausalito and shopped a bit, then decided to head back home. There were multiple snapchats of our climb, recording the bad decision. When we finally got back to the house, we literally laid on the floor for at least 10 minutes to try to not be dead. 

We jumped back in the car and headed to Rodeo Beach to watch the sunset, our first beach sunset as a married couple. It didn’t disappoint. 

  
Zoinks. 

Then we did boring stuff like buy shampoo, but I was amused to find Trader Joe’s sells liquor. 

  
Do-do, do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do…

We found a local brewery for dinner, Marin Brewing Company. Delicious beers, delicious food, and a waitress who pronounced everything “bomb.”

   
It actually was pretty bomb.

Then, back to the house for our first full night’s sleep in what seemed like months. 

The next morning, we ate on the little deck overlooking the ocean, then hopped in the car and headed to Muir Woods. I can’t remember seeing a more beautiful place. We also got National Parks passports because we are giant dorks. Nothing wrong with that!

It was so calm and quiet and beautiful and peaceful here. The majority of the other visitors were also pretty laid back and surprisingly not obnoxious, which helped. 

   

 
  

  

 
  
  
  
Redwoods selfie!

We had a 3:20 tour at Alcatraz, so we headed back to Sausalito to park the car and catch the ferry, the first of five ferry rides in 24 hours. I am not a big fan of boats/the water/falling to my death/drowning, so I was a bit apprehensive. But it was okay. 

  
Quick stop at Muir Beach, and then…

  

Alcatraz ferry selfie!

Alcatraz was very cool but kind of surreal. “Here is this crazy place that housed all of these horrible criminals but now appreciate its beauty and birds but try not to think about all of the violence and bad stuff and please buy a commemorative metal cup.”

  
  
I preferred the beautiful view of the city. 

   

   
This guy hitched a ride back. 

We got back to the harbor and touristed pretty hard.   
  

   
 
Can’t take me anywhere. 

Then we booked it back to the ferry building to catch the last boat to Sausalito. We were disappointed that Humphry Slocombe was closed, so we consoled ourselves with the view from the water (and ice cream from Lappert’s). 

  
We walked ten miles that day, so sleep was very welcome that night as well. 

That’s all for now. More to come!

Wedding Eve — Live Blog

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7:43am — alarms were set for 8/8:30, but excitement and nerves woke us up before 7:00. I checked FSIL Amy’s flight and saw that it was delayed, so I texted with her a bit. A broken toilet has delayed her flight, which is one of the signs of a lucky pre-wedding day, right?

7:46am — number of shits Graham gives that his mothers are getting married — zero.


Whatever. Fill up my bowl. 

7:50am — it’s really hard to believe that the phrase “we are getting married tomorrow” is a thing I can say.

9:25am — breakfast has been eaten. Chris is doing dishes, and I started packing because “maybe it’s best if we do it separately.” I tried to give her a hug, and she demanded that I go pack my toiletry bag instead.

9:54am — toiletry bag packed. I used my dad’s old LL Bean one, so there’s a nice thought of him with me all weekend.

10:28am — FSIL left a comment on Facebook that she wonders what will happen next. We are running around like crazy people and getting our stuff ready to leave, that’s what. Good sign — no fighting. No serious tears. When one of us freaks out, the other calms down. Teamwork. I’m so lucky.

10:40am — I’ve been dispatched to locate Oxford heels.

10:41am — I realize I do not know what Oxford heels are.

10:42am — I am happy to report I am very good at guessing.

11:49am — at the nail salon! A woman is doing needlepoint, which is fun.

11:57am — the Dremel has just been brought out.


Aubrey and I in the customary hand-holding position of the pedicure. 

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Pre-wedding bullet points

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So, I’ve been awful (just autocorrected to “awesome” — nope) at blogging. In my defense, I’m getting married in two (!) days, so we have been a bit busy. 

  
Hanging on Mt. Washington, killing time until nighttime parking rates take effect. 

So here are some random musings. 

  • A lot of people have asked me if I’m nervous, and one asked if I wished I had eloped. I’m nervous about getting everything done and weather and everyone getting there and such, but not about marrying Chris. So anxiety about the wedding but not about the marriage. And really not that much about the wedding — not enough that I wished I had eloped. Not even close. 
  • We are doing a lot of crafty DIY projects for the decorations, and it’s been time consuming. At the beginning, I thought it was silly, but now, man, I can see how great everything will be. 
  • Why would we plan a wedding at our busiest time at work?! It’s been difficult to get any free time.
  • I am so excited to get and be married! I really am. I guess when you wait 38 years, you really have waited for the right one to come along. 
  • I had to buy two pairs of pants for my suit because who knows which will fit by the time Sunday rolls around. So today is a big pants trying-on day. I know. The whirlwind of fun never stops. 

  
Thanks for telling me about this app, Nate!

Time to get moving. Lots to do!

Happy my wedding week! Two days and counting!

What Do August Showers Bring?

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Awesomeness, that’s what. 

  
And super-hot ladies, my friends.

The picture above is from our family shower, thrown by FSIL Amy and Chris’ mom and aunts.  It was at a local restaurant, and it was filled with our family and family friends. 

   
   
   
   
I loved Chris’ dress at this one. She looked so pretty! My mom helped me pick out my outfit, which is why I look fancier than usual. The only sad part of the whole day was that she wasn’t able to make it. She had a compression fracture in her spine, probably from wrestling a bear or something. But my brother recorded all of the present opening, and they took her a meal to go. We visited the next day, which was nice. 

Mom is feeling much better now, still improving. Sad that she wasn’t at the shower, but happy that this means she will be at full power at the wedding. 
A few weeks later, our wonderful friends threw us a shower! It was at the Wigle Whiskey barrel house, so the location and the drinks were excellent. 

And the company, of course. 

  
Chronica knows how to party. 

Aubrey, Heather, Michelle, and Beth threw us a lovely shower. It really was a lesson in Pinteresting. The took the travel theme and ran with it. So lovely!

   
    
    
   
 Both were awesome and lovely and special and perfect. Chris and I are so, so lucky. 

Thank you to all of the people who made these happen, attended, or sent their wishes from afar.  We love you all. 

45 days to go. Let’s plan a wedding! #Chronica2015

Trip to Raleigh — live blog

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Chris and I are headed to Raleigh, and I will attempt to live blog it!

10:53 — left work. Hooray!

11:15 — left Starbucks, PSL in Chris’ hand. This basic girl is happy.

11:26 — in traffic already on 79, and a funeral procession just passed, which included a hearse, a pickup truck with a giant Italian flag in the bed, an SUV limo, then multiple other trucks with an assortment of Italian, American, and rebel flags…and sometimes a combo of all three. Who was this person?!

11:52 — lunch stop at Sheetz. In Waynesburg. We are hungry!

12:16 — back on the road! Our napkin supply is building up quite nicely.

IMG_6206
I am messy.

12:35 — West Virginia! Anyone who thinks this is a small state has bever driven from the top to the bottom.

1:36 — just woke up from a short summer’s nap, which was amazing. I missed a call from my mom, whose voice mail said she was about to take a nap. Great minds think alike!

1:46 — it takes about 37 years to drive through this state, but it sure is pretty.

IMG_6207

1:59 — current music is from RHPS, which makes me want to share this awesome picture Erin made Chris for her birthday!

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So ridiculously talented. And we are so lucky to have her as a friend.

2:55 — this live blog is a little boring, my friends. I’m simultaneously sad that it’s not more interesting and happy that nothing bad has happened. 

3:52 — on the road again after a pit stop in Beckley. Starbucks count — 2. 
4:06 — it’s raining! Glad Chris is driving. 

4:19 — I needed to charge my phone — because of the blogging — so now it’s Postmodern Jukebox time. The best time of all. 

4:28 — just got off the phone with FSIL Amy, who thinks it’s funny we brought ingredients for a kale salad with us. She’s making us dinner when we get there, which is pretty sweet. 

4:47 — we have seen so many cops. I realize it’s a holiday weekend, but there have been a lot!

5:22 — “That looks like a monkey in a jacket praising the heavens on the back of that truck.”

5:43 — refueling stop. Sheetz count — also 2. Who will win this epic road-trip battle?!

5:46 — in addition to selling wine, this Sheetz has a drive-thru. What?!

  

5:52 — a true sign of fall.  

 

6:01 — rainbow! Gayest road trip ever!

  

6:13 — Pilot Mountain and a torrential downpour.  

 

6:57 — weather has cleared up a bit, thankfully. We have about an hour to go. Almost there!

7:46 — I got excited to post something from Graham, NC, and then the app went nuts. Now Chris is singing to herself. It’s been a long drive. So close!

7:56 — was just referred to as Dolly the dog’s FAIL (future aunt-in-law). Funny, Amy. Funny. 

7:58 — this just in: everyone is driving like an insane person. Except my lady, obviously. 

8:01 — regretting the decision not to put this beer in a cooler so we could consume it immediately upon arrival. 

8:10 — safely arrived! Thanks for joining us!

10:29 — I was chastised by FSIL Amy for not saying that they had wine waiting for us. The finest Charles Shaw vintage was offered to us when we arrived. Thanks, Fern and Amy!