Wynonna Earp 2×09, AKA the One with Multiple Dolls…es, a Hot Tub, and the Most Awkward Dinner Party Ever

I hope to someday get back to my full Unnecessarily Long Recaps, but I think that will be in between seasons. So yay — something for all of us to look forward to! For now, I hope you enjoy these extended Random Thoughts of Randomness and other assorted things.

Guys. GUYS. I’m not gonna lie, this episode gave me a lot of feelings. I technically watch alone (my wife is usually here, but she doesn’t watch the show), so my reactions are usually pretty tame with no one to interact with, other than on Twitter. But this week, I shouted at the TV a few times, AND I threw my phone. Twice. So grab your champagne and your mac and cheese, practice with your sexy fighting sticks, and don’t forget to shoot your creepy doll in the face. Let’s go!

Oh, one other thing — don’t forget to grab your compassion, and while you’re at it, make sure you have some understanding that people are beautiful and terrible and flawed and amazing. People make mistakes and do stupid things, and they shouldn’t necessarily be persecuted for one tiny thing they did in the context of their entire life. So if you’re reading this and expect the phrase “I can’t believe Waverly cheated on Nicole,” well, you’re in the wrong place. I recommend finding another recap, because this one will just make you mad.

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness: Continue reading

#EarperView with @Rashantitty

Sometimes people look at me strangely when I explain I have friends I haven’t met yet. But it’s totally a thing — you “hang out” and talk on Twitter so much that you feel like you’re pals. And for me, Shanti is one of those people. We share similar thoughts on a lot of things, which is always great for me, venting-wise. These answers are all well-thought out, but I have to tell you — I LOVE her answer to the Parks and Rec one. It’s maybe one of my favorites of the season. Enjoy!

Tell us a little bit about your non-Earper alter ego.

Once upon a time (in 2014), I was working in the Garden at Lowe’s as a cashier. I was unhappy with where I was with my life and felt like I was on the verge of getting stuck. It was about 2 months after my stepdad’s passing, and his death gave me a new perspective of life being to short not to try and live it the best way possible. So I gave myself an ultimatum of going after something I wanted or to continue being unhappy and miserable. The military had some careers I was interested in, but there was an issue: I was significantly overweight. In a little under a year later, I was down 80 pounds and sworn into the US Navy. Right now I’m a year and a half in as a Petty Officer 3rd class Hull Maintenance Technician. On a ship, an HT performs metal work that is needed to keep the shipboard structure and condition in top shape. This involve things like riveting, caulking, brazing, and welding. I’m currently shore duty at a dry dock, so I help replace, build from scratch, fabricate, and do a little maintenance. I’m also doing some part-time college and trying to earn a degree in Cybersecurity Management & Policy.

How did you find Wynonna Earp and the fandom?

Wynonna Earp premiered two weeks after I finished boot camp, so I had no idea about it until the night it first came on. The series premiere was actually on my stepdad’s birthday. I was homesick and wasn’t handling that day very well, so of course I turn to Twitter for a distraction and see people live tweeting the pilot. I tweeted something about wanting to check it out. I’ve been following Kevin on Twitter since 2013, and he immediately replied and told me how much he loved it. He was a fan of Lost Girl, Buffy, and other shows I loved, so I trusted his judgement. Once I saw that Emily Andras was the showrunner, I was completely on board. I was very busy with school/training  for the Navy, so I didn’t actually watch it until the end of season 1 while home on leave and  was able to live-tweet the finale.

Is this your first fandom?

Nope. I was in the SVU fandom because I shipped Alex and Olivia, but it didn’t last long. After that it was Buffy The Vampire Slayer, which started my love for genre TV.  Believe it or not, when I was a teenager, I thought sci-fi/fantasy was stupid and foolish. I used to see Buffy on TV when I was younger and roll my eyes at its silliness and think, “This is so stupid. Who watches this?” I now own the entire series on DVD.

What is your favorite fandom memory?

Coming together with other fans online who share a mutual love, eventually meeting them, and becoming great friends.

What is your favorite con memory?

I had a pretty emotional conversation with Joanne Kelly once (shout-out to Bering and Wells!!). When I went to DragonCon for the first time in 2014, it was 10 days after my stepdad passed, and his funeral was being held on the same weekend of the event. My mom was the one who urged me to go.  I think it was Joanne Kelly’s first time attending a convention, and Warehouse 13 had just finished, so it was a huge deal. I thanked her for her work as Myka on the show, explained my circumstances that weekend, and how the show got me through the whole month of him being in the hospital until he eventually passed. She just started crying, got up from her seat, gave me the biggest hug, and just held both of my hands while giving me some very encouraging words. I held it together pretty well until I left the ballroom.

What is your favorite Wynonna Earp/Earper activity?

Listening to the “Tales of The Black Badge” podcast. Kevin and Bonnie work so well together to bring us interviews and any kind of Wynonna Earp content they can. I love when, after a stressful day at work, I go on Twitter and see a new episode posted. It really makes my entire day, whether it’s drinking coffee Saturday morning while they break down the episode from the night before or just listening to them right before I go to bed. It’s like an hour of meditation for me.

What has Wynonna Earp come to mean to you?

Oh, boy. Wynonna Earp means a whole lot me. I’m a childhood sexual assault victim, and let me tell you, regardless of how much time has passed and how old you get, the anxiety, PTSD, and bouts with depression are still going to show up at your doorstep uninvited. In my earlier twenties, I did a lot of self-medicating with alcohol and self-destructive behavior. I ruined a lot of great opportunities and have had to repair and rebuild a lot of friendships. Wynonna Earp has shown you can be flawed and that it’s okay to not be okay, because at the end of the day what matters is how you respond.  Due to my job, I don’t get to see or talk to loved ones as nearly often as I’d like. As cheesy as this sounds, whenever I turn on Wynonna Earp, it feels like I’m visiting old friends who I’m able to laugh and cry with while knowing everything is going to be okay. Emily just said in an interview that with today’s political landscape, there’s definitely no shame in using our favorite shows as an escape, and she’s 100% correct about that.

Are there any pictures you’d like to share of your Wynonna Earp experience?

I don’t have any yet. I will have some after Dragon Con, though!

[ Editor’s note –Shanti was nice enough to send some others! ]

Dolls or Doc?

Like a lot of Earpers, I hate this question because I love them both. I’m gonna have to give a slight edge to Doc. I love Dolls, but Doc is someone who I can see myself hanging out with to have a beer and seek advice because he’s been through life already.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you Fandras?

Infinity because the limit does not exist. Whether Evelyn Andrews likes it or not.

Describe why Fandras is a thing in 7 words or less.

She’s the leader of our shit show!

What is your favorite Earp sisters moment?

There’s a great Earp Sister moment in just about every episode, but my favorite has to be the moment they shared after Wynonna killed Jonas and when Waverly asked what the baby is. “Ours.” [ Editor’s note — despite the ever-changing nature of the answer of this question, this is probably the right answer to this question. ]

How have you Earped your life?

Never have I bought so many shirts for one single show. Fangirl Shirts are basically my wardrobe designers for Dragon Con. [ Editor’s note — same. ] Also, I think a lot of people who follow me for anything else other than Wynonna Earp have me muted on Twitter.

What’s the Earpiest thing you’ve ever done?

Attempt to explain the show to a stranger at a Greyhound bus station who thought I worked in a store that sold Whiskey and Donuts because of the Wynonna Earp Podcast shirt I was wearing.

If Dolls and Doc played two-on-two with Lucas and Nathan (One Tree Hill, for those of you who haven’t experienced the glory), what would the outcome be?   

Dolls and Doc would get obliterated. The Scotts did not play when it came to basketball. I think Dolls would be pretty decent, but Doc would be absolutely clueless. He’d just take off running without dribbling the ball and Dolls would have to teach him the rules as they play.  Dolls would be calling for the ball and Doc would just look at it with confusing eyes, “Who in tarnation is Spalding?!”

If the Wynonna Earp cast (and Emily) were in Parks & Rec, what characters would they be?

  • Waverly/Leslie Knope
  • Wynonna/April Ludgate
  • Emily Andras/Ann Perkins
  • Dolls/Ron Swanson
  • Doc/Andy Dwyer – Doc is an intelligent man, but if he were to search for something on the internet, he’d definitely type the keywords into the navigation bar
  • Nicole Haught/Ben Wyatt
  • Rosita/Donna Meagle
  • Jeremy/Tom
  • Nedley/Jerry
  • Lucado/Tammy #2

Here’s where to find Shanti:

@Rashantitty (personal Twitter)

Thanks so much for playing along, Shanti, and thanks so much for reading, Earpers! See you on Thursday!

#EarperView with @micnic1291

Well, let me tell you about this shit ticket.

At FanExpo, I awkwardly hung out with a bunch of strangers (and my wife) while we waited in line for the Wynonna Earp panel. Happily, three of those strangers invited us to dinner with them, and I ended up walking and talking with the youngest, Michelle, a millennial from Iowa. I figured that the 10-minute discussion we had on our way to the restaurant would be the longest conversation I’d ever have with her, but…I was so, so wrong.

Somehow, despite our age difference and geographical distance (and the fact that she thinks ketchup belongs ONLY on French fries, not hot dogs), we became pretty good imaginary friends. She and Heidi and I all managed to get swept up in ClexaCon FOMO and attended, and if spending several days cramped in a casino fangirling over pretty, intelligent, talented women doesn’t make your bond stronger, I don’t know what does. Despite the fact that she took advantage of our generosity and slept on our couch for two nights (and the fact that we are both extremely socially awkward and much, much better via social media than in person), we still had a good time together. We had this great Carmilla photo op, and I made a bet with her that she’d reach 500 Twitter followers by the end of the convention, a bet which she lost. I’m still waiting for her to fulfill the terms, so at Dragon Con, she’ll be eating…a hot dog with ketchup. I may live-blog it. Or live-tweet it. But not live-stream it, because that’s creepy. 

Do you remember back in the old days when I had time to do recaps? Me too. That was fun. Anyway, they almost didn’t happen. My wife was out of town, and I had written about 3/4 of my first one. I thought it was awful. Garbage. Trash heap. I had been messaging with Michelle that night and told her how I was going to kill it. And she talked me out of it. She’s talked me down from a lot of fandom ledges over these last several months, including one where I was so upset that I contemplated walking away from writing, watching, tweeting, and everything else. She talked me down and convinced me to stay, something that I’m very happy she did, and I’m honored to call her a friend. Mostly. Even if she does call me an asshole at least twice a week.

Tell us a little bit about your non-Earper alter ego.

I have a degree in Engineering Mechanics, AKA Applied Mechanics, but work as a test engineer for drivetrain and hydraulic systems in large agricultural equipment. Basically I break shit for a living. I’m one of those people who loves CrossFit and obstacle-course races despite being one of the most accident-prone people on Earth. [ Editor’s note — this is accurate. I’ve known her for not even a year, and I can’t even tell you how many “I had to go to the hospital” stories I have heard. ] My all-time favorite show is Person of Interest — ask me about it and I won’t shut up for days. I recap Wynonna Earp, Orphan Black, Supergirl, Legends of Tomorrow, and Pretty Little Liars for StarryMag.com and write random TV-related musing on my website, UntanglingSpaghetti.com. Oh, and I’m always wearing a snapback.

How did you find Wynonna Earp and the fandom?

I first heard about Wynonna Earp a few weeks before the premiere. I had actually forgotten about the premiere until I woke up from a nap and saw my phone had blown up. I ran to the living room and made it just in time to watch and live-tweet the premiere. #HaughtDamn

Is this your first fandom?

No, I’ve been involved in the PLL and Carmillla fandoms prior to Wynonna Earp BUT never to the degree I’m involved in this one.

What is your favorite fandom memory?

One time, Melanie Scrofano held my hand.

What is your favorite con memory?

By far it has to be my experience with Wynonna Earp at FanExpo last year. I was annoyed with work and life in general, so I decided on Wednesday to buy a ticket to FanExpo and drive from Iowa to Toronto on Thursday to go to the Carmilla and Wynonna Earp panels. I met some amazing people who have become some of my best friends, and I got to meet the cast and The Andras for the first time. [ Editor’s note — this is where we met, so obviously it’s the favorite. ]

What is your favorite Wynonna Earp/Earper activity?

Live-tweeting each episode with you all is the best. Aside from Wynonna Earp being an amazing show, the subculture we’ve created for ourselves is the best part of this fandom. I’ve never been with a show from the start, and getting to be a part of this community and help it grow has been one of the best experiences I’ve had.

What has Wynonna Earp come to mean to you?

Well, that’s a loaded question. I believe that storytelling is one of the most important aspects of our culture. It’s how we share knowledge, and it’s where we go to learn things about ourselves. Wynonna Earp tells a story about hunting demons in a town called Purgatory, but the show is about unapologetically being yourself, flaws and all. We live in a ridiculously judgmental world that tells us day in and day out that we need to change ourselves to fit into a mold, but every week for one hour, I get to sit down and hang out with a group of open-minded people watching a show that tells us to embrace our flaws.

Are there any pictures you’d like to share of your Wynonna Earp experience?


A gaggle of Fandras at C2E2.


At ClexaCon, in which I am channeling fellow Yinzer @VisitPurgatory and closing my eyes. Thanks for picking such a flattering picture, Michelle. You’re the best.

Dolls or Doc?

I’ve got to go with Doc, and it definitely has nothing to do with me being envious of his wardrobe.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you Fandras?

I bought a ticket to C2E2 just to join my fellow Fandras in annoying Emily. I don’t know where that lands on the scale, so I’ll leave ranking to you.

Editor’s note — 7. Points deducted for using her correct name. ]

Describe why Fandras is a thing in 7 words or less.

Because I said it is?

What is your favorite Earp sister moment?

Every Earp sister moment is my favorite. If I had to pick one, I guess I the horrible moment when that claw-handed shit ticket chopped off Waverly’s hand. Wynonna’s reaction to seeing her baby sister hurt showed just how much Wynonna loves and cares about Waverly. I think my favorite moment by the end of season two will be when Wynonna finally finds out that Waverly isn’t biologically an Earp. I’m positive that Wynonna will agree with Nicole — Waverly’s the Earpiest Earp, blood or not.

How have you Earped your life?

Wynonna Earp is all about being unapologetically yourself, which is difficult for me living as a queer woman working in a male-dominated field in a relatively conservative, Fox News-watching, Cheeto-loving area. At work, I have to play ridiculous games to get shit done without ruffling too many patriarchal feathers, but when it was time to negotiate a new job offer, I went the full Wynonna and was unapologetically me. Nailed the meeting, got the job, and now have my very own minion.

What’s the Earpiest thing you’ve ever done?

I had a horrible day at work, so I spent my lunch break in my car watching Wynonna Earp on my phone.

How are you most like Randy Nedley?

I, too, am a firm believer in galpalitis

The Machine gives Root and company Willa’s number at the end of season one. What do they do and what happens?

First off, I love that you said, “Root and company” instead of Team Machine. Way to respect my ride-or-die queer character. All right, what would Team Machine do with Willa? Willa would pull a season-one-finale Root, except she’d fail. With Root and Shaw on the team, they’d quickly piece together that Willa is in cahoots with Bobo. Root would tail Willa. Shaw would tail Bobo. Harold and his fucking glasses would sit around uselessly while John snooped around Shorty’s. John would find the basement lab, free Doc, and manage to get shot at least once. Shaw would overhear Bobo’s talk with Waverly, and when John reports on the basement lab, she’d kneecap him. Then after everything’s over, she’d pull Waverly aside and have a Gen moment. Root would get into a firefight with Willa like she was some sort of Martine and kneecap her. They’d deliver Bobo and Willa to Black Badge and head on their merry way to their next number.

Editor’s note — I only understood about 64% of this, but…cool! ]

Wynonna pulls Peacemaker on you. What does it do?

Well, I haven’t touched any goo recently, so I don’t think it would glow orange. It might glow blue if Wynonna caught me on a bad day… #Slytherin

Here’s where you can find Michelle:

@micnic1291 (personal Twitter)

http://untanglingspaghetti.com/ (personal blog)

Thanks for reading, my friends. I hope you enjoyed it. Michelle is one of my favorite Earpers, but please don’t tell her. She gets all twitchy when you say nice things.

See you all back here next week!

Wynonna Earp 2×08, AKA the One Where Wynonna Stepped in the Tardis and Nicole Just Stepped In It

Hello, friends! Apologies for the unexpected hiatus, and I’m afraid that the recap won’t be the same as usual. Real life has intervened, and I’m a bit short on time this week once again. But I do have a lot of thoughts, and I’d like to get some of them down. It won’t be the Unnecessarily Long Recap you’ve all grown to love tolerate, but I do have some observations, some screen shots, and a crazy theory or two. Let’s jump in!

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

  • I got into a nature-vs.-nurture discussion argument with @NedleysOffice on Twitter this week. I say Willa is a product of her environment and not just a straight-up sociopath; Office disagrees. But I have to tell you, Willa trying to kill Waves by having her fall through the ice does not exactly support my argument.
  • Who names a baby “Welcome”?
  • Widow!Mercedes is so freaking amazing.
  • Widow!Beth attacking Juan Carlo reminded me of the Leviathans on Supernatural. Then I remembered how they [spoiler alert] treat all of their female characters like 13th-class citizens, especially my dear, dear Charlie, and then I was super happy that shows like Wynonna Earp exist. Also, Juan Carlo reminds me of Bobby. Ahem. Back to it!
  • Rosie and Doc are super cute together. However, to be honest, I think they would be super cute with anyone, because holy shit, they are both so attractive. Daaamn.
  • Also, do any of the women of Purgatory dress appropriately to the weather?rosie
  • I love that Rosita, Doc, and Wynonna are all adults about this situation. It’s refreshing. No unnecessary drama.
  • Naps are my bitch, too, Wynonna.
  • Wynonna’s doctor was so freaking amazing. In both episodes we have seen her in so far. Non-judgmental, comforting, supportive, funny. Just wish I could find a doctor like that. I mean, not a baby doctor. I haven’t seen any angels in my dreams lately. We’re cool.
  • I’m with you, Nedley. Willie Nelson is a national treasure.
  • No way Waverly is that bad at pool. She practically grew up at Shorty’s. I call shenanigans.
  • Also, where’s that scar that chicks dig? And can we get some love for Nicole’s Pink Ladies jacket?pool
  • Nicole, you really can’t lie to your girlfriend at all.
  • I love Nicole’s unwavering disgust for Bobo.
  • I could really go for some nachos and tequila right now. Did I mention I’m in day 2 of 30 days of clean eating? I want all of the food. It’s fine. I’m fine.
  • I watched this episode at a friend’s house, and she was like, “Oh, Brendan Fehr!” I was like, “That is the least-exciting part of the episode for me, but I like that you’re engaged!”
  • You know what line I loved? “Neutral men are the devil’s allies.” I feel like that…really has a lot of relevance in our world today. Apparently Dolls likes to quote Edwin Hubbel Chapin.
  • “The Earp sisters will be reunited before sundown.” So…Willa, right? We’ll see Willa soon? I hope so. Sociopath or not, such a great character!
  • Hmm. Wonder what last time’s gross doctor’s-office story was.
  • “Holy pioneer balls” indeed, Wynonna.
  • I feel like that’s how I might react if I realized I was in a vision quest.
  • I love how she tells the baby to calm down. Such a great moment.
  • Crazy that Bobo’s hair gets better after he comes back from Hell. That’s a pretty neat trick.
  • Time really changes a man. Years in Hell made Bobo a bad dude. Years in a well made Doc a gentle, open-minded, caring soul. So I guess when given the choice between well and Hell, choose well. Both will give you great hair.
  • I guess Bobo’s always been a snazzy dresser.church
  • Loved that Juan Carlo punched a Widow. Solid choice.
  • Where can I get a piñata filled with doughnuts?!! (Day 2, guys.)
  • Nicole, always the voice of reason. Her talking about feeling like an outsider was so on brand with her character, and of course she wants everyone to get along, including Boobs McSeltzer and her boyfriend’s baby mama.
  • “She needs to see the past if we have any hope for the future” seems like the tagline to a summer blockbuster about a psychic time-traveler who’s leading a plucky band of misfits against an orange-skinned villain.
  • I love that the show is answering so many questions about the backstory. Proof that if you invest time in a show that loves you back, it’s worth it. I was especially impressed with Bobo’s backstory. Repeating “I am a good man” — heartbreaking.
  • I wonder if we’re gonna see good, old demon Sheriff Clootie in the next four weeks.
  • Dolls hates the woods! And it seems like he’s not a huge fan of the Widows, either.
  • I’m sorry, but the least-believable part in this episode was Nicole’s purse. She is not the kind of lesbian who would carry a giant purse like that. She’s either a “stuff it in your pockets” gal, or maybe a backpack or messenger bag on a special occasion, like a Pride fest or a softball game.
  • Oh, hey, while we’re on the subject of Nicole…oh, my goodness. I get it. Sometimes you do really stupid shit because you think you’re protecting the woman you love, but in reality, you’re treating them like a child. It’s completely understandable, sure, but…such a mistake. Such a mistake. You’re not Champ, Nicole. You are in a grown-up relationship, and you take care of each other — it’s not one-sided. And dropping the “I love you” feels desperate, though there’s no doubt in my mind she means it.
  • That being said…let’s not be too quick to judge, Waverly. You kept the fact that you fought a demon that was possessing you for SEVEN WEEKS to yourself. So, you know, let’s all just admit that love makes you do the wacky and have some of that make-up sex you think is so great.
  • I just hope that Nicole heard Waverly loud and clear. She needs a partner, not a mother. Someone to be there with her through hard times, not someone who tries to make decisions for her. Stand up and be the woman and girlfriend we know you can be, Nicole. Be the partner Waverly deserves.
  • Sorry. I have a lot of feelings.
  • Ever wonder what sadness looks like? It’s this. This is sadness.nic
  • If I had more time, I would do a whole photo collage devoted to Kat Barrell’s face in this episode.
  • Who carries a spool of thread on their person?
  • I think Bobo took even longer to die than Laura Hollis did.
  • That scene with Bobo and Wynonna, where she tells him she’s Waverly and he worries about what he’ll become — sheer genius and perfection. All of the feelings.
  • And all of the mind-fuck. Which actions caused which? How could he think Waverly is his angel before Wynonna traveled back in time to tell him that? Oh, time-travel. You’re such a tricky shit ticket.
  • Wynonna being dead for 77 seconds, huh? The exact number of revenants? Well, that must definitely be a coincidence.
  • Well, I’m sure Wynonna saying she and Dolls will never be enemies is definitely not foreshadowing.

Monica’s Insane Theory:

What if Waverly’s parentage is a red herring?  Maybe she’s an Earp; maybe she’s just the product of an affair. What if it doesn’t matter? What if NICOLE is the half revenant/half human that Jonas spoke about last week? Remember how Jack said she was “the wrong kind”? And maybe she was just drawn to Purgatory….or Nedley has known all along and recruited her. He’s no small-town idiot cop. I think he’s been playing the long game, well, for a long time, especially since he seems to be pretty familiar with Juan Carlo. Maybe he replaced that awful Sheriff Clootie years and years ago and he’s been kicking it since, Mayor Wilkins style. And it was time to bring in half-Revenant Nicole Haught to town to fight the big bad.

Thanks for joining me, friends. Sorry it wasn’t one of my “traditional” recaps, but I still hope you enjoyed it. I had fun writing it! See you next time!